Uninvited Guests

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I disagree with a lot people here saying that a baby doesn’t count as an invited guest and that babies that age should get a pass. There will be two babies at my wedding and their name/ “baby smith” was written on the invitations. I definitely agree that a wine bar is not necessarily an appropriate environment for a baby and if I was your maid of honor I would have told you that I would have leave early to get home because I wouldn’t want my baby at a bar even if you said it was okay. At my wedding venue I have already discussed a room that the mothers/fathers can use for changing/breastfeeding. Just talk to her see if you guys can work something out. But at the end of day it’s your wedding and if she won’t be away from the baby that long maybe she shouldn’t come to the reception. 

Post # 32
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Personally I don’t understand why some PPs don’t see the big deal of allowing the baby there for “just an hour” (as opposed to leaving the baby with the sitter for just another hour). 

I would be super annoyed but likely wouldn’t barr the baby. I’d just confirm if the wine bar is cool with a baby being there, not sure if it’s more of a restaurant or bar/lounge type of place.

Post # 33
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

As an expectant mother, I can honestly say that if I really couldn’t bear to be away from my baby for that extra hour, I would leave an hour early instead of forcing the baby into a childfree event. I’m wondering if this is your MOH’s way of forcefully making sure baby is included in the event via pictures and such. 

Post # 34
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sounds to me like your MoH wants an excuse to cut out of your reception early.  “Ohhhh sorry I’d love to stay but baby has to get home!!”  (Yeah but baby wasn’t supposed to be there in the first pla—See now you get it).

Post # 35
Member
3837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Your Maid/Matron of Honor is being so rude! You discussed this with her and she is just going to totally disregard that without asking you! Not ok. I would make one more attempt to request that she take the baby to her sister before the reception. It’s ONE extra hour apart for her best friend’s wedding. What even is the point of leaving the reception to take baby away and then coming back only to leave an hour later? Seems annoying for everyone involved, including her. Maybe you can get a statement from the venue saying that it isn’t a place recommended for babies…

Post # 36
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I don’t know anyone who would think it’s acceptable to act like your Maid/Matron of Honor. She’s being rude and entitled. On top of that she doesn’t even have a compelling reason to ask for an exception. Not that she asked. As your Maid/Matron of Honor, I can’t believe that she puts a few hours that the baby will never remember ahead of your wedding. 

I know you say she’s a good friend, but she’s not acting like one. I’d stand my ground, politely. You could always say it would not be fair to other parents. If she wants to back out, let her. 

Post # 37
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

A baby in arms does not count as a guest IMO. Also, the baby will be there after the ceremony and the time where she might be crying and disrupting the party. If she does start crying and isn’t able to be consoled, your Maid/Matron of Honor will likely just leave a bit earlier than planned. I’d let it go. It’s also possible that the baby won’t even be able to come into the space if it’s a 21 and up establishment.

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