(Closed) Uninvited Guests and Those Who Refuse to RSVP

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s probably too late for this, but…the solution for your problem would be to have assigned seats! People show up and don’t have a seat cuz they weren’t invited? oops, too bad. People don’t rsvp? Well, after contacting them a couple times, then you can send a final email/voice mail that says something like, “Since we are having assigned seating, we do need to know your rsvp. Since I haven’t heard back from you yet, I’m going to have to assume that you’re not coming, and there won’t be a seat for you unless I hear back from you in the next 24 hours.”

Well regardless, we do need to have some confrontation with people while planning a wedding! When people who aren’t invited mention things in front of you, don’t hesitate to say something like, “unfortunately, we’re not going to be able to invite as many people as we wanted to the wedding, but we’d love to get together with you once we’re married and settled down!”

But, I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Just remember…you’re not the only one! It happens to all of us! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with having assigned seats – assigned tables at the very least.  A guest shows up uninvited, hopefully they’ll catch on when they don’t find their name on the seating chart or a little card with their table number.

As far as those that don’t RSVP, you really need to call and/or email (have your family/FI help).  If you’ve attempted to make contact and they’re still not RSVP’ing, then politely let them know that you’re sorry they will be unable to join you on your wedding day.

Post # 5
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@red_rose: agree!

Also, make sure to have someone that can be the “bad guy” and tell people there isn’t any room. You don’t want to be the bouncer at your own wedding. (make sure they aren’t afraid to be mean. For instance, all 5’3″ of me would body check someone before I let them in. My Darling Husband hate confrontation and if the other person even looked at him funny, he’d let them in)

Also, maybe you could spread the word that you’ll be at XYZ restaurant for breakfast the next morning if people would like to wish you well.

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

there was a four weddings episode where someone announced if you didnt rsvp or if you rspv’d decline and showed up please sit outside during the reception – totally cringe worthy but yeah i was giving them a big old high five for that

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

If you’re seriously worried about it (and can’t do assigned seating/worry people will ignore it and steal invited guests’ spots), hire a bouncer, basically. Someone who can verify that they are on the guest list. It’s pretty hardcore, but it’s also beyond rude to show up to someone’s wedding univited.

The idea of doing breakfast or brunch at a restaurant at a later point is a good idea too.

Post # 10
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

ask the venue if  there  is an optional security. give them a list of people, and OLNY those people are allowed in. Alot of places offer that, I know all 5’1 of me has played secuirty at a few weddings to prevent wedding crashers.

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