Post # 17
Thanks, but I am great with making my own decisions and confrontation, if necessary. Weddings are pretty much a different story, especially when I have one month left to handle things like this too.
I’m back to reality after my frustrations, thanks for all of the advice bees!
Post # 18
Honestly, if your parents are willing to pay the extra money and she is the only one that did this, then just let it go. If it makes her feel better to have her family with her than why make yourself so upset about it? There is plently other things that require your attention. Things will happen at your wedding that aren’t on the plan … but you just have to roll with it and not let it ruin your day! Take the approach of “The more the merrier … if my parents are willing to pay for it!”
Post # 19
Such great viewpoints b/c I went through them all. Anger, remorse, and oh well! 🙂
Thanks everyone. I’m going to revisit this next week when my RSVP’s are due. In the meantime, we are admiring our e-pics, planning for my shower, buying our parent’s gifts and getting the DJ squared away. I’m almost there!
Post # 20
You could mark out the 5 she wrote on the rsvp card and write 2 on the card and mail it back to her. ha ha! Just kidding! Everyone gave you great advice. I am sorry you have to go through all this!
Post # 21
Wow. I never realized how hard it was. lol, I feel like such a terrible guest! I was invited to a wedding of a close friend and was like “Hey can I bring my boyfriend?” She said yeah, no problem and was kind of excited since she hadn’t met him. But when my boyfriend couldn’t get away from work, I called her and was like “How about my mom?” lol, that got her more excited since she loves my mom. I never really knew it was rude or else I never would’ve done it. It was a very casual backyard type of wedding, but still, I feel rude after reading this. I think most guests don’t really understand, if they haven’t planned a wedding before. I don’t think most will be upset about not being able to bring extras.
Post # 22
Good luck with this. I haven’t hit this issue yet, but my invites haven’t been sent. We may have this issue with kids… we aren’t inviting them, but not specifying an adults-only reception. We figure that most will want a night out, but who knows?
Post # 23
sorry you’re in this predictament…just say NO =) i think someone posted a thread here months ago, that she got a rsvp with “18 of 2” will attend, LOL
Post # 24
ejs4y8 is totally right, you’re going to have to handle the uncomfortable situations now. So you will have to be the one to tell people they can’t b ring extra folks, I know its tough I have to do it too. But it will be much worse if you end up with a wedding of 400 people you didn’t want there. Stick to your guns, you can do this!
Post # 25
Just an update, Maid/Matron of Honor and my other cousin helped me with this. My great aunt’s party ended up with 3 instread of 5 (or the 9, she started adding on more afterward). I think we did a great job keeping the guestlist in check, but there definitely were crashers! We were expecting around 215 and I think we ended up 207 who actually ate at the reception.
Post # 26
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
That is so rude! Maybe I’m just a big ol’ B-word, but I would have no problem telling them what’s up. This makes me so mad! To cross out something you wrote on YOUR wedding invitation and just add 3 more people like it’s nothing!? How inconsiderate! What if everyone did that? You would be royally screwed! Give ME her number and I’ll call her for you! Sheesh!
Post # 27
you know me and my Fiance have a similar problem.
I was worried about single people not having dates and being lonely or what not. but we really can’t afford to give all the single peopel a + 1, then he reminded me
we were both single for a long time (well i had relationship that didn’t last very long before him, i was kind of picky) and during that time we both went though all our friends get married and were invited without a guest just us as a single person.
he said not to feel bad because that’s just how things are, people understand weddings are A LOT of money so don’t worry, you’re not the bad guy here.
Also a little white lie could help, just say the fire limit for your venue is 200 people and if there is more the fire marsal might come in and close the place down. hehe. ^_^ I’m mostly kidding about this but you can use it if you want! ^_^
Your cousin is totally right it is totally your day and just do what feels right to you. Good luck!
Post # 28
I had a similar situation- I’m Asian and my Fiance is white. I already expected that Asians don’t RSVP anyway and they like to add people because to them, it’s a party and the more the merrier. However, getting my RSVPs was really shocking to me! 1 in 4 RSVPs had an extra uninvited guest! And they were all from Americans, mostly adult Americans of the middle class!
How do I tell my FFIL’s friend, “Uhm, did I put a +1 on your invite?” lol
You can’t. But I can tell my friends, and I have.
Post # 29
Grrrr, that’s so frustrating and I feel for you! I know it’s easier said than done, but you just gotta put your foot down and say no. And bygod, it is your day!!!!!