(Closed) Uninvited RSVP

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Call them up and let them know that you can’t accomodate everyone, you’re sorry, and he’s not invited.  In a nice way though, LOL.  

Post # 4
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, I just had this happen too. Invited cousin and already had their name and number of seats reserved (2) filled out on RSVP card. Just got it back and they put 4 people attending. Ridiculous! Why can’t people read or understand that weddings are not a free for all? Now we are trying to figure our how to tell them nicely that their children are not invited. 

Post # 5
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would say to kindly let them know that space/budget makes it impossible to be able to include him, but you did say they are having the local party at their home. I would probably just suck it up and make an exception because they are doing something for you by hosting your party.

Post # 7
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

If he lives in the house where the local reception is being hosted- I think you need to just let it go

Post # 8
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

He lives there and is not invited? How can you possibly exclude him then? Ask that he leave the house on the day of the party? I would definitely not make waves over this, as you may find the hosts backing out of hosting the party for you.

Post # 9
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

He lives there…what did you expect? He was going to stay in a back room? You are lucky your aunt and uncle aren’t pushing for their daughter to be invited as well. As they are the hosts, I think they are entitled to including their live-in child. When someone else is the host, you give up some control. Have you received all of your RSVPs back yet? Would 1 extra person really be a big deal?

Post # 11
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mainejen:  OH! Sorry, I misunderstood! Yeah, you need to politely talk to them. They may still feel entitled since they are hosting the local party or maybe think because he lives with them? Can your parents talk to them?

Post # 12
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would not want to risk ticking off the people who are hosting a reception for you.

Post # 13
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would call them up and very nicely explain that you are very close to capacity, and simply do not have the room.

I have not sent out invites, but I swear if this ever happens to me, I will put my foot down and say no.

Post # 14
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree,call tell them you are at capacity, that you didn’t have room for cousins, and um I CAN’T believe they crossed off 2 and put 3!!!! 

Post # 15
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Over the Moon:  I agree. I think that this family is the exception to your ‘no cousins’ rule because they are hosting the at home party. 

Post # 16
Member
3204 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, this is tricky. I would say let him come because that family is hosting the “at home” party. If anyone has issues with it and it were me, I would just explain that they are hosting the party and sharing their home with me and my guests and so you made the decision to invite him because of their generosity in hosting. 

FYI, I did have people do the same thing in inviting people via RSVP who were not invited. There was no other reason than they wanted these people there and thought they should be invited. I just had my Darling Husband call them up (they were on his side) to explain that due to budget and space constraints, the guest list was restricted to people on the RSVP list. 

Also, have you talked to them about this? Maybe they thought you had sent him his own invitation and it just didn’t make it to the house and decided to write him in. But if that is not the case, I hate it when people don’t just call to ask what the situation is and write whoever they want in…

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