- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
How do I explain this? I’m hurt. My friend is getting married this weekend, and she invited us to the wedding months ago. It’s at their home up north.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I told her that we’d be driving up for the day and driving back home that evening, because we couldn’t find anyone to take care of our dog and cat for the weekend. I didn’t tell her this part, but another reason we were driving up and coming back home the same day was because we didn’t want to get a hotel for financial reason.
Anyway, I last week I got in touch with a friend who lives up there, and she offered to let us stay with them. They have a huge house on the lake, and plenty of room. Well, that seemed ideal, so I asked my mom if she could take care of our dog and cat for one night. At first she didn’t think she could because my aunt is coming up from Texas, but then she said yeah, she could take care of them, they aren’t any trouble.
GREAT! we don’t have to rush around, we don’t have to spend money on a hotel, and everything was working out great.
Then today, my friend called me and said the weather was going to be rainy and cold so they’re going to have the wedding in the house instead, and since we didn’t have anyone to take care of our dog and cat, that she didn’t see any reason for us to waste money on gas driving all the way up there for a wedding that wasn’t going to be outside. She said it wasn’t that she didn’t want us to come, but that it seemed like a waste.
okay… I could take her at face value… but I hadn’t said anything about money being an issue to her, so why would she worry about the money we were spending on gas. We would have spent the same amount on gas regardless of whether it was indoors or outdoors.
Plus, lately I’ve been getting a weird vibe from her. She’s never been one to come to my house…when we go out together, she’ll just sit in her car and honk her horn for me to come out. She goes to her other friends’ houses, but not to mine. I practically had to drag her in to see my new sofa a few months ago. My husband has commented also that he doesn’t get any warm fuzzies from them when they are at the club either.
I really noticed the change when I started to lose weight. I’ve lost 20 pounds since the beginning of June. And since then she’s been a little colder towards me. When I told her how much I’d lost, she didn’t even say that I looked good or anything… She just talked about how she was starting to get fat… (She’s a size 5)
When she took me out for lunch for my birthday last month, she was a little upset that I wouldn’t drink and that I watched what I ate trying to pick the most health foods. I can’t drink…or at least I have to be very careful about drinking, because I get sick. I’m more prone to get lupus flares when I drink, so I try to avoid it. She knows this. But she is a drinker, which I don’t mind. My husband likes to drink too, and I can have fun without any alcohol…
I don’t know what I did. I’m supportive of her. I’ve listened every time she and her FI have had a fight, every time she’s thought he was cheating on her, when he wanted her to sign a pre-nup, etc. I’ve always told her all I want is for her to be happy.
I don’t know how I can take her at face value when she says it’s not that she doesn’t want me to be there. I mean I couldn’t argue with her and tell her all the plans we made to go to her wedding, because that’s not the issue. The plans we made aren’t her concern and she didn’t have anything to do with them, so I don’t want to guilt her into anything by telling her about it. That wouldn’t be fair. But it does hurt that she’s essentially told me not to come to her wedding 3 days before her wedding…
It hurts. And I don’t know how to not feel hurt.