(Closed) Uninvited to wedding, please read I'm not sure what to do :(

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally, I would ask her via phone call to sot with me for lunch, coffee, whatever. Tell her you felt really bad for not being able to afford the han’s spa and hotel, but that you were in a very tight financial hardship at the time. Try to stay on track and shy away from any “he said she said:” type of arguments. Hopefully things will work out for you all. It is sad that a joyus event has the potential to rip a family apart.

Post # 4
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, I don’t have any real advice, but she is definitely over-reacting! One of my best friends was just uninvited to her friend’s wedding (she was a bridesmaid) because she could not make the bachelorette weekend-long party due to finances and it being the same weekend as the closing on her new house. I think some brides take these things way too personally. Not sure why. Stress maybe? Maybe they feel rejected and as if their wedding and wedding events are not being taken seriously, even though that’s not true?  I think she will really regret it if she really chooses to not invite your family.

I hope it works out for you!! Sending you lots of virtual hugs! Keep us posted!

Post # 6
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You should’ve called her instead email her. And she is overreacting!

Post # 7
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hi ladyhog. Your cousin is acting crazy. I agree with you that it sounds like she WAS ignoring you on purpose and isn’t capable of a rational conversation right now, so I wouldn’t even try. I don’t see that you really did anything that you should apologize for…if you had, this would be simpler! I just don’t get why she would flip out because you couldn’t attend her entire hen weekend. 

So, what to do? I think if I were you I would just let everyone cool

Off for a while, and then I’d reach out to your aunt (her mom) and try to see if you can mend things via her. it’s a pretty tricky situation, and unfortunately there’s not much you can really do if your cousin is being irrational.

(sorry for the typos–I wrote this on my phone!)

Post # 8
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Brides are crazy, sometimes.  How long ago was this?  Maybe she will come around? 

Shame on her, though, for getting so many people involved. 

Post # 9
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t have any advice other than to say that I”m sorry you’re going through that. I don’t know what it is about weddings that makes people go so crazy. πŸ™

Post # 10
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think she is being a selfish bridezilla. The world does not revolve around her. If she wasn’t your cousin, I’d say forget it.

As she is your cousin, I would talk to your parents. What do they think of the situ?

Post # 11
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am so sorry to hear all of this is happening. I literally have no idea what advice to possiblygive…it’s one thing if she had an issue with you…but to uninvite your entire family? This is crazy! Have you talked to your Aunt? I can’t imagine she’s okay with all of this? Or is everyone just taking sides? I might suggest reaching out to your Aunt to facilitate a meeting with her (if she’s willing). I just hate to think that something like this could tear a family apart. Good luck, OP! Lots of hugs!

Post # 12
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly I think the two of you need to sit down, apologize for any misunderstandings or hurt feelings, and see if you can mend your fences. Do not start a one-by-one recap of everything each of you have done to hurt each other’s feelings; you will just end up angrier. Tell her how much you value your relationship and your family bond, and how sorry you are that both of you don’t feel like friends any more, but let her know you’re willing to try again if she is. In each of your emotional states, it’s not productive to try to assign blame on either side. Even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong, she feels it. So just own the fact that she’s feeling hurt and it doesn’t matter if you agree with it, she’s still feeling it. And leave the sisters and aunts out of it. Just the two of you.

Post # 13
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I really think you need to see her in person or via phone. Let her get out the anger, dont take it personally (as she probably is stressed to the max), and then explain what you meant by that comment. Even if she doesn’t forgive you, at least you tried. 

Post # 14
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, what a drama queen she is! In all honesty I don’t think it’s you that needs to approach her. She should be apologising to you. I know you just want to keep the peace for your families sake but I guess if you give in you’re giving the impression that you were in the wrong and her bheaviour is acceptable.

Honestly though, if she doesn’t come around and change her attitude and you’re still all uninvited to the wedding, it’s going to look bad on HER and her wedding will be remembered for this by other family members (which she thoroughly deserves for being so nasty). In all honesty, if she’s going to be so spiteful, you might have a much better time not attending her wedding.

I’m sorry, this must be so hard for you on top of all the financial stuff you already have going on x

Post # 15
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Holy cow! my jaw dropped. You were there for her! what the hell did she expect? that you just pull £500 out of your bum!? That was so selfish… i hope everything gets better…


I guess you should call her and talk to her and to “”””””””””””””””””apologize””””””””””””””””

i know there’s nothing to apologize for, but maybe everything will calm down if you do.

Tell her how you felt, that you wanted to be with her in her hen do even if you couldnt afford ALL of it, and that if you had the money you would have.

Post # 16
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That is insane. Please know you really didn’t do anything wrong, if someone ignored me all day long I would have said more than you did that’s for dang sure. No one should ever be uninvited from a wedding unless they sleep with the groom or threaten violence, period. Uninviting you and your family goes to show clearly the bride isn’t using the logical part of her brain and is going off of emotions that seem completely inappropriate given the situation.

I’d try and talk with her in a calm, relaxed situation and sort out why she is reacting the way she is.

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