Uninviting a friend to my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Honestly, I’d let this go. Good people make mistakes and unless she has a habit of missing scheduled events often, I’d consider this a fluke and move on. Don’t uninvite her- thats too extreme of a reaction to this. Accept her apology and relax! 🙂

Post # 18
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Just let it go, mistakes happen and it isn’t worth burning bridges over 

Post # 20
Member
3013 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

So here we don’t do bridal showers so forgive me if this isn’t the case, but I didn’t think they were formal events. Perhaps she wasn’t aware that it was so formal and that a late non attendance would be such a big deal. 

Never been to one, been invited to one or had one so I might be totally wrong on this 

Post # 21
Member
3867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Showers aren’t much of a thing where I live, but the ones I’ve heard of are more of an afternoon tea get-together type thing. Maybe she had no idea of the formality of your event and the fact that you’d still have to pay for her. I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. She did say she’d see you at the wedding so I guess she’s planning to come. 

Post # 22
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You would have had to pay for her either way. I don’t get the issue. Unless you’re upset you didn’t get a gift? But with 90 people in attendance, you probably got more than you reasonably need, anyway.

Post # 23
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Your mother in law made you pay for her plate? That seems odd. 

Post # 24
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Canisito :  Huge event like that, these things are going to happen. Just let it go. 

Post # 25
Member
9282 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if your shower was 90 people, what is the size of your wedding????  i imagine that cost a pretty penny.  in the scheme of things will $120 really make a difference? 

 

Post # 26
Member
12484 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

MsAfarian : The point should be moot. No bridal shower should be that size in the first place. 

Canisito :  It was still rude, but if she’s telling the truth, and forgot the date and time, then it wasn’t intentional. I would give her another chance. She did apologize. 

The discussion of it being such a big, expensive event is out of line. It has nothing to do with that. Again, showers are not properly big, or over the top affairs at all. It would be just as inconsiderate to no show to a simple tea and cookies affair. 

Post # 27
Member
3753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Was she aware that this was a formal shower with plated meal? If you didn’t explicitly state that somewhere I’d never assume that I was costing the host money by not attending. Every shower I’ve been to has been low key and buffet style finger foods like sandwiches or appetizer style snacks. I could understand being upset at a no show at your wedding where it’s understood the host is paying for your plate.. But a shower? Nope. 

Post # 29
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s fine to be a little annoyed that she didn’t show up without even letting you know, however if you’re considering not inviting her to your wedding over this I wonder if you’d even be considered friends. 

As other bees have pointed out, I would never imagine that a shower was a 90 person plated dinner in a banquet hall – did your invite spell this out? I’m sure she wouldn’t have acted in the same way had she known. 

Not that it’s relevant to your problem but I also find it strange that you paid for a plated dinner for your own shower, for 90 people no less. Or your Mother-In-Law apparently hosted but made you pay for the no shows?

Post # 30
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Regardless who paid for what or why, you’re going to have no-shows at large events. You can’t take each one of these as a knife in the heart. Build a sprinkling of these into your mental budget because you will probably have an even larger handful at your wedding. It is rude for sure but to go as far as uninviting her to the wedding IMO is overkill. She may have had a very valid reason for not attending. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors