Post # 16
Honestly, I’d let this go. Good people make mistakes and unless she has a habit of missing scheduled events often, I’d consider this a fluke and move on. Don’t uninvite her- thats too extreme of a reaction to this. Accept her apology and relax! 🙂
Post # 17
julies1949 : thanks, your post doesn’t really help me . It’s irrelevant
Post # 18
Just let it go, mistakes happen and it isn’t worth burning bridges over
Post # 19
hafh2016 : you might be right. Im still upset since my shower happened last sunday. I contacted her yesterday and replied today. She might have decided not to go due to financial situation, I told her I didn’t want any gift from her just her presence. Your advice is kind!
Post # 20
So here we don’t do bridal showers so forgive me if this isn’t the case, but I didn’t think they were formal events. Perhaps she wasn’t aware that it was so formal and that a late non attendance would be such a big deal.
Never been to one, been invited to one or had one so I might be totally wrong on this
Post # 21
Showers aren’t much of a thing where I live, but the ones I’ve heard of are more of an afternoon tea get-together type thing. Maybe she had no idea of the formality of your event and the fact that you’d still have to pay for her. I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. She did say she’d see you at the wedding so I guess she’s planning to come.
Post # 22
You would have had to pay for her either way. I don’t get the issue. Unless you’re upset you didn’t get a gift? But with 90 people in attendance, you probably got more than you reasonably need, anyway.
Post # 23
Your mother in law made you pay for her plate? That seems odd.
Post # 24
Canisito : Huge event like that, these things are going to happen. Just let it go.
Post # 25
if your shower was 90 people, what is the size of your wedding???? i imagine that cost a pretty penny. in the scheme of things will $120 really make a difference?
Post # 26
MsAfarian : The point should be moot. No bridal shower should be that size in the first place.
Canisito : It was still rude, but if she’s telling the truth, and forgot the date and time, then it wasn’t intentional. I would give her another chance. She did apologize.
The discussion of it being such a big, expensive event is out of line. It has nothing to do with that. Again, showers are not properly big, or over the top affairs at all. It would be just as inconsiderate to no show to a simple tea and cookies affair.
Post # 27
Was she aware that this was a formal shower with plated meal? If you didn’t explicitly state that somewhere I’d never assume that I was costing the host money by not attending. Every shower I’ve been to has been low key and buffet style finger foods like sandwiches or appetizer style snacks. I could understand being upset at a no show at your wedding where it’s understood the host is paying for your plate.. But a shower? Nope.
Post # 28
weddingmaven : I’m marrying into a big Italian family. So, the shower is a big deal with RSVP , like a mini wedding. I doesn’t matter who paid for what I just find disrespecfull to confirm and not to show up without saying anything. Friend knew the size and importance of the event to me.
Post # 29
I think it’s fine to be a little annoyed that she didn’t show up without even letting you know, however if you’re considering not inviting her to your wedding over this I wonder if you’d even be considered friends.
As other bees have pointed out, I would never imagine that a shower was a 90 person plated dinner in a banquet hall – did your invite spell this out? I’m sure she wouldn’t have acted in the same way had she known.
Not that it’s relevant to your problem but I also find it strange that you paid for a plated dinner for your own shower, for 90 people no less. Or your Mother-In-Law apparently hosted but made you pay for the no shows?
Post # 30
Regardless who paid for what or why, you’re going to have no-shows at large events. You can’t take each one of these as a knife in the heart. Build a sprinkling of these into your mental budget because you will probably have an even larger handful at your wedding. It is rude for sure but to go as far as uninviting her to the wedding IMO is overkill. She may have had a very valid reason for not attending.