Post # 31
Like a few other people mentioned, every bridal shower I’ve ever been to was small appetizers and cake/dessert. So in saying that, it’s very likely that she had no idea it was a plated event. She still should have informed you she couldn’t make it- it’s rude of her no matter what. I wouldn’t un-invite her to the wedding though. Maybe just check in with her again and make sure she is in fact coming to your wedding. If she’s a no show for your wedding, then I would cut ties with her. But I’d give her one more chance & give her the benefit of the doubt for the bridal shower.
Post # 32
Canisito : Two rudes don’t make a polite and you would be very rude not to send her an invitation to the wedding. Time to accept the fact now that you will have no shows on your wedding day. I hope it’s not too many!
Post # 33
Mother in law hosted the party. People that didn’t show up called a day before with a valid reason.
I didn’t hear back from her at all until I contacted her. At the time shower was happening, she was posting pictures and selfies which makes me assume she didn’t have to go to work (no formal clothes to play at a gig) therefore, I believe she’s lying.
Post # 34
I’d let it go. It’s not worth burning a bridge. It’s very likely you will have several no shows at your wedding as well.
Post # 35
Yes, it was rude of her to just no-show at your shower after RSVPing yes…but it would be more rude of you to revoke her invitation to your wedding over this.
Post # 36
Canisito : You said she admitted that she forgot about the shower. I’m not sure it’s relevant why she forgot or whether she was working for part of the day or when. Maybe she was doing job related work at home. That part doesn’t really matter. The bottom line is she got distracted and it slipped her mind. Sounds honest to me.
Post # 37
Canisito : The type of shower you had is totally normal where I’m from as well. It’s at a banquet hall with every woman invited. It’s cultural and regional and I’m not sure why people aren’t letting that go.
1. Does your friend know that it was as formal as it was? Is she used to this?
2. If she’s someone you work with or pass in work circles, I’d keep her invite maybe be a little bratty and send her a text the night or two before and say hey doing a final headcount want to make sure we have firmed up our guest list- will you be attending.
Post # 38
This is why I have issues with Save-The-Date Cards. So many things can change between Save-The-Date Cards and the actual wedding invite. I think you have to send her an invitation. If she hasn’t sent an RSVP by a certain date you won’t be including her and will not be paying for her mel.
Post # 39
Only on this site would I see ppl write that they may not invite their friend because they didn’t make it to the shower. That is rude on both ends.
Post # 40
I think you’re being a little too harsh. I understand your frustration; however, she admitted she had forgotten and apologized to you. Mistakes do happen………we’re all human. You don’t know what’s going on in her life that could be weighing on her mind. I, myself, have stuff that I have forgotten about (and it’s even programmed on my calendar in my phone). Now, if she makes a habit of just not showing up to events and proves herself unreliable, then that’s different. Her not showing up to one event and admitting her mistake is not grounds to uninvite her to the wedding. Ultimately, it’s up to you though. I just hope that someone doesn’t judge you as harshly for future mistakes you make.
Post # 41
You don’t have to un-invite her, all you have to do is not invite her. An STD is not an invitation, it is a heads up in case someone has to make arrangements for travel, child care, work, etc.
If you just delete her from the guest list no harm no foul.You have your reasons. You can tell her, if she asks, or not.
Post # 42
First of all.. holy crap people… why is this girl’s shower size and type anyone’s business or problem?.. Some showers are formal some are not.. really NOT the point of the post here. Many cultures (italian, greek, european etc) have massive families and consider these things mini weddings and invite many people.
Formal or not, a shower is an event with an invite so this girl not coming last minute without an apology is rude whether this was held in a castle or in someones backyard, especially with an execuse like that.
However since she has gotten save the date and shower invite, I think she should still be invited to wedding. Since you work with her you wouldn’t want things to be awkward on a day to day basis.
Post # 43
I can get being annoyed at her (flaky people do suck), but if you want to keep the friendship casual, univiting her to the wedding is not the way to do that. If, however, you want to napalm an entire relationship (personal and professional), then go ahead and univite her.
Post # 44
Very grateful for the advice! I am less upset about the issue, although it hurt because I was very dissapointed. I’m letting it go and will invite her to the wedding as I previously told her. Although she confirmed attendance to the wedding verbally, I will let her know I won’t reserve until getting her RSVP back.
Post # 45
With such a large event there are bound to be no shows. Since you’ve already invited her to both the shower and sent a save the date I think you should proceed as planned and send her the wedding invite. If you don’t I do believe you’ll burn a bridge.