Uninviting a friend to my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 47
Member
2525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You sound so bitter about it. If she had to work late, maybe she truly didn’t even have time to let you know and at that point, she probably didn’t want to intrude on your shower by calling or texting saying she couldn’t make it.

I’ve never been to a plated, expensive shower before. Maybe she hasn’t either. Most all the ones I’ve been to are either only cake/appetizers or cake/light lunch or dinner, never plated….she probably didn’t think about it like that perhaps.

I find it odd that if shes truly a friend it’d be so simple for you to just not invite her to your wedding. 

Post # 48
Member
5053 posts
Bee Keeper

Canisito :  That’s incredibly annoying that she “forgot”. Since she’s in your industry and its bad to burn potential bridges I would invite her and eat the cost. Consider it $120 towards professional development. You will take the high road. If she flakes again don’t invite her anywhere again. You want it to be so that you are the one on top. Be polite, professional and courteous from now on. 

That said, everyone makes mistakes. If she no shows to your wedding she should be the one who feels awkward. If you invite her she can’t say that she never got the chance to make it to to you.  

Post # 49
Member
637 posts
Busy bee

Canisito :  If you aren’t incredibly close, maybe she does have a valid reason for not coming, and she is too embarrassed to tell you, or it is simply a private issue. I would cut her some slack here. Maybe she is pregnant and woke up with morning sickness and she doesnt want to tell you, who knows! Its not like she has done this to you 700 times, this is a first time offense! Don’t return poor etiquette with more poor etiquette… You invited her to the shower, so she should be invited to the wedding. As far as explaining to her you will not confirm until you receive her RSVP, this is unnecessary and already implied if an RSVP card is included in your formal wedding invite. I get that feelings run high when it is your wedding and your bridal shower, but I would just take a step back and determine if paying for one plate is worth ending this friendship? (and it might be if there are other issues, only you know your relationship with her)

Post # 50
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Shit happens. It’s a little ridiculous that you want to uninvite her becuase of one incident. There’s going to be people who no-show to your wedding, it’s just life and it happens. If you don’t invite her, she will probably end her friendship with you.

Post # 51
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think you are doing the right thing by sending her an invite. If she misses the wedding after RSVPing “yes” then I will personal toss the kerosene while we torch that bridge. 

I hope she does right by you. Congrats bee!! 

Post # 52
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

There’s no good way for you to uninvite her to your wedding because she missed your shower. The wedding itself is the critical part; all the rest is optional.

Post # 53
Member
12309 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

DanaWeddingGuest :  An STD is not a wedding invitation and neither is a shower invitation. However both obligate the host to follow up with a wedding invitation. If OP’s intention is to completely end the relationship, that’s a completely separate matter.

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