(Closed) Uninviting half of a broken up couple

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think a gentle reminder (to whichever side you would like at the wedding) that you need to finalise guest numbers and ask whether they would be coming would suffice. I think it is more than likely that neither or at least one of them won’t come. It would be awkward for everyone.

Post # 3
Member
7257 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

“Hi Jane, we heard you and Dick broke up. We’ve decided that he gets custody of us in the divorce. So…. bye! Oh, and since we won’t be seeing you at the wedding or anything else ever again, good luck with life!”

Post # 4
Member
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
turtlebackb :  So if Dick and Jane basically know you through Mary and Jane doesn’t want to be friends with Mary she probably has little interest in your wedding. If you want Dick to attend ring him up and tell him even though he was invited as part of a couple you understand he is no longer with Jane but you would love it if he attended. 

Post # 5
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee

Mary likely already isn’t planning on showing up given the situation. I’d follow up with Dick to see if he is coming but that’s it.

Post # 6
Member
3056 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
chocolateplease :  why wouldn’t Mary come?

I would contact Dick and let him know you would like him there. 

Post # 8
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

i would just leave it until they rsvp – he’ll probably just rsvp yes and she wont. that way you can avoid sticking your nose in to a situation that really doesn’t involve you. if they dont rsvp that way then you can think about saying something. 

Post # 9
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

Personally I’d like to hear all three versions of what actually happened in the Dick, Jane and Mary soap opera, but I imagine that will play itself out. I’d just wait and see what happens by the RSVP cut off date and if they all say no, you have nothing to worry about. Seat whoever says yes at different tables, and if anyone misses the RSVP cut off date send a communication stating that you regret that they decided not to attend.

I’m not sure Jane was invited by name or if it was assumed that she was to be someone’s plus 1.  If you do decide to uninvite her or anyone else I would refer to published ettiquite experts on what the proper procedure is to uninvite guests and see if there’s suggestions that will work out for you.

Post # 11
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
turtlebackb :  I’m another who thinks the best course of action is to let it play out.  I understand why you’re tempted, but man does this all sound like drama I wouldn’t want to get involved in.

The most I’d do is remind Dick you’d love to see him at the wedding.  Preferably in person, so it’s not the sole reason you’re talking to him, but over the phone works too.  I really wouldn’t contact Jane and tell her she’s un-invited.. ugh you’re just asking to be dragged in to this mess.

Post # 12
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
turtlebackb :  Yeah, sounds messy. I do feel for anyone that is in situations like this. It’s hard seeing people you care about get hurt. Ideally I would hope that you can stay out of it as much as possible and just enjoy your wedding while they deal with their stuff. I do understand you want to save guests from uncomfortable situations, but there may be a limit on how much you can do about any of this. Hopefully it all goes well. I would be surprised if Jane decided to show up, but she still might even if you do try to uninvite her. Uninvited guests are not unheard of at weddings. No matter what, you may want to try and have a few plans in place if she does show up. I admit I don’t have a great deal of suggestions on what the plans to deal with her would be, but best to try and be as prepared as possible. I had at least one person show up that I never invited  when I married my husband and it is not a pleasant memory.

As for Dick, Jane and Mary I hope they go all go on to mature and live happy lives. None of their drama is your fault, and I so feel for you having to deal with it. I’ll be sending you good thoughts and hope that people’s drama stays at home. I hope you keep us posted on how it works out. I hope your wedding goes well, I’m sure it will be wonderful.

Post # 13
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

For sure just give Dick a call and ask if he’d still like to come to please RSVP… and there’s a spot at the singles’ table waiting for him if he’d like.

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