(Closed) uninviting someone who already has an invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

wow – tough one.  Do you still want to remain friends?  Doing this might effect the friendship.  Do you think he will be better behaved at the wedding?  Could you talk to him & say you are worried for his health as he is drinking to excess?  Maybe that would make him change. 

Post # 4
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think you can uninvite someone after the invite is out. That’s just too late. I think if you’re worried about his behaviour, then put someone on “Watch Duty”. 

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think if you are upfront with him, tell him he embarrassed and upset you and you don’t want him at your wedding, then the friendship is likely to be over. If you don’t want to lose his friendship I don’t think you can uninvite him when he has already RSVP’d, but you could have a discussion with him about knowing his limits and not going overboard, and possibly ask a mutual friend to just keep an eye on him if you think that’s necessary. The friendship might still be over though if he takes your conversation the wrong way? Sorry, not a nice position for you to be in but I’m not sure you can have it both ways.

Post # 7
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Just becasue you find his behaviour embarrassing doesn’t mean that he does- that could be why he hasn’t apologised because he doesn’t think he has done anything wrong.

Also I think it is kind of judgemental to say that because he has (in your opinion) embarrassed himself a few times whilst out at bars/clubs that he is automatically going to do the same thing at your wedding. If this is new behaviour for him why not try being a friend and find out if something is wrong in his life.

I also think it is unfair to punish him (by excluding him from your wedding) because you messed up and over invited.

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I would keep him on watch and probably tell him that is what you are doing. You don’t want him to make a scene at your wedding and that’s that!

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

he is a friend, friends act like idiots at times, we even act like idiots at times.

you invited him, unless hes been arrested for kiddie porn or sticking his hand down grandmas dress do not uninvite him

Post # 10
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@happyface:  But it’s ok for the Bride and Groom to make a scene by having someone guard a guest all night and making sure the guest knows it?

Post # 12
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@danymarie:  Honestly yes he is an adult and its a little rude of you to say he wont act like one at your wedding. You are damning him for something he hasn’t (and may not) yet do. And giving him guidelines to what you think is acceptable behaviour in public is pretty damn rude.

When I said talk to him- I meant about his life- it doesn’t matter what you assume he maybe going through something. Take the time as a friend and express your concern about his behaviour on your last few outings in a concerned way and not a judgemental way.

Anyway you say it excluding him from your wedding will be hurtful especially since he has RSVP’d. And having someone follow him around all night just in case he starts to enjoy himself and have a drink is pretty rude.

Post # 13
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you uninvite him, your friendship will most likely be completely over.

Also, people act differently at bars then they do at weddings. Usually people know they need to tone it down a bit when family is around.

It is extraordinarily rude to uninvite someone after you’ve invited them and they’ve RSVP’d.

Post # 14
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Then you tell the bartenders to make sure he doesn’t get over-served. I think that since you have invited him, you cannot take it back. 

Post # 15
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Anyways what do you guys think about uninviting him, and how to go about it?


You don’t.  Unless a dramatic event occurs and you have to change your wedding date/venue, you can’t uninvite people.  Get a groomsmen to keep an eye on him, that’s it. He is your friend.

Post # 16
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

To uninvite him would just be flat out rude, and if you do uninvite him be prepared for your friendship to be over. Like the PP’s said, just have someone keep an eye on him and if he gets out of hand at the wedding, politely ask him to leave. You will have so much going on on your wedding day that he will be the least of your concerns, trust me.

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