Post # 1
I was wondering if anyone could help me out… my future sister-in-law is one of my bridesmaids, but out of everyone in my wedding party she has been the least involved. She is in medical school and I understand that keeps her busy and that she won’t be able to make it to certain events (like my bachelorette party and bridal shower), but she has not even offered to help with anything. My sister, who is my Maid/Matron of Honor, has even e-mailed her to ask her some things about the wedding, but she doesn’t respond until either me or my fiance calls her. I just feel like she has no interest in the wedding at all, which hurts my feelings. I was wondering if anyone could offer advice. And, no, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my future mother-in-law about it (that’s another story entirely).
Post # 3
My advice- don’t let it bother you. I know, easier said than done. Do you guys have a decent relationship otherwise? If so, I’m sure it isn’t meant to be personal. Either way, the degree to which people care about others weddings varies, she seems to be on the lower end of the spectrum. It stinks, but its true. I could see it having a lot to do with where she is in her life. I can’t imagine going through medical school. I had a friend in med school, it was literally sucking the joy out of her life. This could be the same for your Future Sister-In-Law, which would explain why she’s so uninvolved. If I were you I’d still just include her and leave it up to her to participate.
Post # 4
I agree with jennifer_espos some people are just more involved than others. There are some BM’s who think all they need to do is show up and some that do a million and one things. I’m sure its not personal so don’t let it get to you.
Post # 5
@jennifer_espos: Thanks, Jennifer. I know it’s not personal on her part, it just bothers me. And as far as our relationship goes, I can’t say we have much of one. We’re always friendly/polite enough when we see each other, but we don’t really have anything in common (besides her brother). And I have tried to make an effort with her, but, again, we just haven’t clicked.
Post # 6
I agree with Jennifer, try your best to not let it bother you. I have 6 BM’s (4 of which are my sisters, 1 friend & FI’s cousin) plus my Maid/Matron of Honor who is my best friend. My Maid/Matron of Honor has been planning pretty much everything all by herself because the only one who ever offers to help out is my FI’s cousin! My sisters do not email her back and it takes 4-5 text messages for them to even respond. This is also the case with the other Bridesmaid or Best Man… And they are my own flesh & blood too! I also just found out that one of my sisters was complaining about having to chip in $25 for my bridal shower….it sucks and I feel really bad that my sister doesn’t feel I am worth $25 but that is a whole different story. Anyways, I guess what I am trying to say is don’t let it get to you. Being that your SIL is in med school, I am sure she has a lot on her plate right now….(heck, 2 of my sister’s don’t even have jobs so they have more time on their hands than anybody else).
Look on the bright side….you only have the 1 not helping out! I have 5 and I am sure a lot of other bees have even more!