(Closed) Unique Bridesmaid… help?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Send her some cute dresses that you’d really like to see her in. Make a polyvore board or something to really illustrate your vision for her. As for her hair/haircut/etc…personally, I wouldn’t go there. You said that you value her for who she is and wouldn’t want to change her, but there’s no tactful way to suggest that she alter her apprarance to fit what you’d like to see for your wedding. 

Maybe ask to see if she’s planned a cut/color and see if she asks for your input/approval, but unless she does that I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask her to make certain adjustments for your day if that’s her usual look.

Post # 4
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What about choosing some dresses on http://www.weddingtonway.com , then sending them to your bridesmaids and then they can vote on a dress? Are you sure you want her to be a bridesmaid? It kind of sounds like you would rather her not be in the wedding…

Post # 5
8730 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You could let them pick their own dress in the same colour/designer. That way each girl will be comfotable.

As for the hair- well you don’t say anything- it’s her hair so she gets to say what she does with it.  You said

I love her for who she is and I’m not trying to change her so I know its rude of me to ask her to alter her appearance.. but I REALLY want her to just look.. natural. Natural hair color, flattering hair cut, etc.

But by asking her to “look natural” you are asking her to change her appearance which is really rude! Love you friend for who she is and move on!

Post # 6
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should ask her what she is planning to do with her hair for you wedding. Make it a lighthearted conversation — tell her what you’re thinking of doing with your hair as well. Perhaps you can mention that your vision is that everyone look “naturally beautiful.” 

I’ve BEEN the ‘unique’ bridesmaid, and all I wanted was to look how the bride wanted me to look. I understood that her wedding day was HER day, not mine, and so I asked her what she wanted me to look like.

Post # 7
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If it’s that important perhaps you could offer to get all your BM’s hair styled on the day… then you could discuss style/colouring with her beforehand, and maybe convince her to go for possibly a platinum blonde – not too out there but could still go with her usual image?

As for the dress, I think you’re totally within your rights to suggest dresses that go with the tone and theme of your wedding, if you give a selection of say five you like, and get them to vote on which they prefer.

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