Post # 1
So, we had a few ideas for the memorial table, most that we’ve ruled out.
1) Originally we wanted to do a picture of every person but we don’t have pictures of every person we would like to honor so we ruled that out.
2) I feel like the memorial candle or flower thing is overdone and I’d like to do something unique.
3) Having an object that represents each person (like FI’s grandpa has a few model ships that he made himself and my grandpa has a plaque with a pic of his drag racer from when he was in the NHRA). But we don’t have an object for every person and our table is limited on space.
4) Could we maybe mix the pictures and objects ideas?? Is that too much?
Also, any new UNIQUE ideas are invited! 🙂
Post # 3
@roguehnp2005: You could do a simple sign with maybe one candle and a list of people’s names
a floral wreath with a similar sign
Post # 4
Whatever you do, you might want to make sure it is alright with the rest of your family or friends. I wanted to do something to remember my grandmother and my FI’s aunt, like displaying their pictures with a candle. After I talked with my grandpa and his family, they said the losses are too fresh and seeing their pictures would just make them feel sad the whole day. We have decided to just do a candle with a more general statement “In honor of those who are here in spirit” or something like that. A friend of mine had a chair reserved for her father who passed and her mother was so upset the whole wedding. They didn’t think it would be so upsetting since he died several years ago, but everytime her mom looked to her side, she saw an empty chair where her husband should be.
I’m not trying to be rude, I just would hate if you accidentally upset those attending your wedding by reminding them of their loss.
Post # 5
@kl6294: I totally agree, I had a friend do the chair and a flower for his mom, basically everyone cried because of it!!
my dad passed away about 2 years ago, I am taking one of the shirts he wore all the time that is blue and cutting a heart and having it sewn to the inside of my dress, not obnoxious/in your face/ make everyone cry, but FI and I will know it’s there and it is important to me.
Post # 6
@roguehnp2005: The objects idea sounds cool, but I agree with PPs that it might just upset some people. If the deaths have happened long enough ago, and everyone has pretty much made peace with it, then go ahead and do that. More recent deaths, I would not do that.
I know you said you don’t want to do candles, because they’re overdone, but that’s what we’re doing. They’ll be up on the fireplace mantle, so they’ll be kind of out of the way. People might not even know what they were for if they didn’t go up to them and read what they say, and that’s fine. They’re really there more for us, than to be a display for all our guests.
ETA: I just thought of an idea. If you want to do the objects, you could display them around the room, a little more organically, rather than having them all on a table, if that makes sense. I feel like having them be a little more subtle will make it less likely that someone will get really upset about it.
Post # 7
@TattoosAndDiamonds: That’s such a sweet idea!
Post # 8
@CarolinaCola: They did a memorial table at FI’s cousin;’s wedding and it would be all the same relatives along with mine. No one has an issue with it and they are all grandparents (including all four of mine) that have passed many years ago.
Don’t worry, we checked before doing a memorial table that it was alright with people.
Thanks ladies but I think I’m going to close this thread and just discuss it with FI.