(Closed) Unique Parenting rules and ideas?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Great ideas but I don’t agree with the day off thing, mainly because if you miss a day in school you will have to work harder to catch up with what was learned that day. I would however, if the grades were good plan whatever she wants to do in the weekends, like, she would like to go eat pizza and see a movie or get ice cream, etc…

The museum idea it’s fun 🙂

I will listen to my children, most people “ignore” what the kid is saying having in mind that it’s probably silly talk, and treat kids like kids, but I will not do that, my children will have an opinion and if they are good, a “vote” on what happens.

Post # 4
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I love when parents use charts! I don’t have kids, but I babysat a ton, and my friends have started having children at this point. A chart with “good behaviors” (making their bed, eating all their dinner, cleaning up toys, going to sleep with no fuss), stickers for each time they perform them, and a fun reward once a certain number of stars has been reached in each column. I like rewards like a trip to the library, going out for ice cream, things like that.

The kids I’ve been around love putting the stickers on, and it is such an easy visual thing for them to see how close they are to a reward 🙂


Post # 5
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

They have to argue to me why I should let them do something when my initial response is “no”.  It teaches them to think about why they want something and how to be persuasive instead of focusing on whining.  I started it out when my stepdaughter was 3 and each year the reasoning had to get more complex.  “Because I want to” is not a valid argument.

If I don’t know something, I admit it and then say we should go online and see if we can find out the answer.  When we get home we go on the computer and I help her formulate questions to query on google to find the answer.  It allows me to discuss factual sites versus news versus blogs, etc….  Plus, it shows her how to access information that she doesn’t know and that it’s okay to not know everyhting so long as you know where to look for answers.

As for taking days off of school, we didn’t plan to allow it until they were in middle school.  We call them mental health days and they have to have good grades and if we find out a mental health day was a test day or they did poorly because they missed the material, they get in trouble and have to re-earn the ability to take a mental health day.

Post # 6
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@Peach_Cobbler:  I love this idea! Every year for one of our holiday presents, my parents gave us a “coupon” for a free day off of school. We could wake up that morning and, pending no tests or assignments due, we could just decide to cash in our coupon, and the days was ours to plan.

Believe me, I remember those special days with my mom MUCH better than I retain anything I ever learned in school!

Post # 9
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Peach_Cobbler:  I don’t have kids of my own, but I’ve raised a couple….one of the cool things I did with one of my little buddies was he could have anything he wanted for breakfast on Saturday…chocolate cake, cookies, a doughnut…whatever, it was our fun way of starting the weekend off on a silly foot.

When I married Mr. 99, he had two teenagers, and I was thrown into a world of snarkiness, sass and general ineptitude….I remembered being their age and also not really remembering a thing my parents said to me, so I developed Guerilla Parenting…where actions speak louder than words…because teenagers don’t listen anyway, and the only way to get them to pay attention is to keep them off balance.


Punkin…my step-daughter, had been in our home a total of 19 minutes, when I walked past her room, it looked like her suitcase had thrown up all over the floor.  There were clothes everywhere!  I hate this, she knew that, I contemplated my options, I could:

1.  Bring her up here, tell her again to keep her things put away and be ignored (lame)

2.  Pick them up myself and have to face the same mess tomorrow (lamer)

3.  Have her father deal with her about it, thus posturing myself into a powerless figure in my own home (lamest)

4.  Tie all of her clothes into one long knot and toss them back in her suitcase…(Crazy Awesome)

Guess which one I picked and guess what she never did again?  It was amazing!  I was wandering around the hall brushing my teeth and she opened her suitcase to get her pajamas, she just kept pullilng clothes out of the thing in one long rope like a magician…she looked at me all shocked, I smiled and said, “I wouldn’t leave MY clothes on the floor anymore if I were you.”


Post # 10
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

When I was in high school, I didn’t have a curfew but my car did. It allowed me enough freedom that I didn’t rebel much and kept me safer by having me off the roads at times when I was likely to be tired or there would be more drunk drivers. My lack of curfew was based on not doing anything that would dissappoint them, and if I had been caught coming in drunk or anything like that I understpod that the rules would change

Post # 11
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My 9 year old daughter is allowed to stay up as late as she wants every Friday and Saturday if she is good during the week- its a big incentive.  She usually tuckers out by 11 or 12.  Just recently she has been coming upstairs and putting herself to bed instead of falling asleep on the couch in the TV room.  It has been interesting to see her mature and begin to self-regulate.

Just wanted to add that while I agree with the mental health thing idea, schools are much more strict about absences than when I was little.  They give them a butt-load of school work to make up when they miss a day.

Post # 12
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are planning to have an “ice cream for dinner” night when little man is old enough. We haven’t decided if it will be a set holiday, or if it will be a “mom’s at the end of her rope” treat. But it will happen. Once a year. 

Post # 13
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are some really great ideas rolling around.

There are two definate things I will do/not do

1) Food will not be used as a reward or punishment.

I think we, as a nation (US), need to learn that food can be enjoyed, but we should not work it into an emtional attachment or a way to cope with problems. Dessert is not a reward for finishing dinner or a punishment (be removing it) for behaving badly.  A cookie is not going to reward good behavior in the card or encourage a child to be quite for a minute or to stop crying. 

2) lower your voice, done raise it

My aunt does this. When she is angry or upset she would lower her voice to just barely above a whisper. My cousins had to stop crying or screaming or talking to listen to what she said. It brought the energy down a notch and forced them to listen to her.  A lower voice is more intimidating than a loud yelling voice as its not as expected.


Post # 14
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I gave myself 4 days off during High School. I was hardly ever sick and a straight A student and never missed anything so it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t go to a great school though and I’m not sure if I’m going to let my children do this. Once in a while if they feel especially stressed would probably be fine though.

Post # 15
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@ThreeMeers:  I completely agree! In my DH’s house growing up food was used as a weapon and he still experiences unhealthy thoughts toward food. There were numerous time where he would go a week or more without dinner for doing something petty or would be forcced to eat all of the food on the table (to the point of vomiting) for another reason. His family also fed him a very little amount while his other brothers were able to eat as much as they wanted. Very very sad and I refuse to use food as a weapon with my family!

Post # 16
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Nona99:  My dad liked to use similar tactics. For example, I went through a phase as a pre-teen where I slammed my door. A lot. He warned me not to do it again, and I did it anyway. I came home from school the next day to find my door removed, and sitting against the wall across the hall, where I could see it from my bed. He kept it off for a full week, which was torture at that age. I don’t think I ever did it again, and I will absolutely use that with my kids one day!

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