(Closed) Unity Candle

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 17
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the processional thing is so it doesn’t come across as that you are being given away, ie that the sacrament is really part of a bartering system. To be escorted down the aisle is fine. 

Fiance is being escorted by both his parents, and me by both of mine. It’s raised a few eyebrows. I kinda like the idea of walking down together, but thought that would be too revolutionary for my crowd.

Reflect on how you would like to enter marriage, and process in that way. Together, in the midst of family, with close friends, as long as its meaningful to you.

Post # 18
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Unity candles are used in every catholic wedding here. And lately, both parents walking the bride down, and sometimes the groom too, has become v popular. Depends how cross/contrary/relaxed your priest is, I guess.

Post # 19
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We had a unity candle.  I don’t think it’s common for the Catholic weddings around these parts to have one because the priest was a little shocked when I told him that I had one and intended to include that in our ceremony, but it was also the only time that the choir that I had solicited to sing at the ceremony could actually sing so there was no. way. I was going without the unity candle.

I’m not Catholic, though, and I’m not scared to stand my ground.  My husband is Catholic and although I highly value and respect his religious beliefs, it was my wedding, too, and I had to make A LOT of sacrifices so I felt like having the unity candle and the choir was one thing they could choose to let me have. 

Post # 20
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For those who did the unity candle (or for those planning one), when does it happen during the Mass?  After the blessing and exchange of rings.. and before the prayer of the faithful??

Post # 21
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

“I also read that the “approved” processional is the bride and groom walking up the aisle together. 

Post # 22
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My Future Sister-In-Law was married nearly two years ago in the Catholic church and it was part of her rite of marriage ceremony as standard. But I know it can be church to church, diocese to diocese, country to country kind of thing

Post # 23
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@summer7911:I think that’s where I’ve seen it. But it might vary from church to church, especially since it is definitely not even an “official” part of the Catholic ceremony. So check with your priest, especially since, as other posters have pointed out, some churches don’t even allow it.

Post # 24
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@summer7911: That’s when we did it. Right after we were pronounced husband and wife, we lit the unity candle

Post # 25
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Our church did not allow unity candles, but they had very strict guidelines on a lot of things (no aisle runner, no pew decorations, strict rules on flowers, etc), so I’m not too surprised.  We weren’t that interested in doing one, so it was fine. 

Post # 26
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

During my marriage preparation, the priest explained that the Unity Candle is allowed, but not encouraged because the only wedding is already a symbol of unity – especially the rings and the vows… 

The bride and groom are also encouraged to walk down the aisle together because the sacrament of marriage is the only sacrament where the priest is not the minister, it is actually the bride and groom ministering their vows to each other… it’s encouraged that the couple process down the aisle together as ministers, equally and freely entering into the marriage.  But they do know that local customs have set in and a lot of brides and/or fathers have been dreaming of the day – so if anything, at least that the groom should also processes in as a minister.  The custom of the father giving away the bride goes back to the archaic concept that the bride is “property” being passed on to the groom

Our priest also explained to us that the church encourages the couples to greet our guests as they enter the church because if we think of it as guests coming over to our house – when we invite guests to come to our house, we have to answer the door to greet them and then we feed them.  It’s the same as a wedding, we are inviting our guests and we’re feeding them after – so the church actually encourages the bride and groom to greet their guests as they come into the church

Post # 27
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Our church allowed but did not encourage a Unity Candle. It is not part of the official Rite of Marriage. Didn’t matter to me b/c I didn’t want one.

Post # 28
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was just going over my ceremony and I found what my parish wrote regarding the use of the Unity Candle

“The use of the “Unity Candle” is discouraged.  Your wedding rings and your pledge to each other are the strongest signs of unity.”

 

 

 

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