Post # 1
I wasn’t planning on doing the unity candle thing, but my mother just asked me about it (meaning, she really wants to light a candle). So, instead, I thought it would be nice for the two mothers (both my and FI’s dad’s are deceased) at some point of the service, take the original two candles they lit (symbolic of Fiance and me) and join them together (as a sign of the two families coming together. I’d love all the siblings to come up at the time too (but not sure if that’s feasible) or how to go about it (I have 3 siblings and Fiance has 2) – so it would be a total of 2 moms plus 5 siblings).
Has anyone heard of anything like this before? Thoughts on if you think it would work??
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House
I attended a wedding where they did this during the ceremony. It was very nice and unique. I’m not sure how you could include your siblings though….
Post # 4
My Maid/Matron of Honor did the unity candle this way at her wedding. It worked well and was very touching. Just be sure to rehearse the way you decide to do it, so no one is confused about what to do when!
Post # 5
@futurejet – do you remember how your Maid/Matron of Honor did it? I’m very curious to find any and all details!
@beagle – thanks! do you remember anything specific about how it was done? or at what point of the ceremony?
…and, I now that I think of it, perhaps having the siblings do it would be very confusing 😉 We have a big center stage, so getting up to the stage would be easy… but it might just be too many people. I think just the mothers would be symbolic enough!
Do you think it would be overkill to have them light the separate candle pre-service and then come up post vows to join the two?
Post # 6
I think having it done before and after would be sweet but so many will be focused on you all and some even getting ready to head out the door that it might get overlooked. Have you also seen the lighting of the candle to honor those that have departed? You could include that to honor their dads.
Post # 7
Yes – at most weddings I’ve been to, the mothers light the unity candles 🙂
Post # 8
I’m pretty sure that every time I’ve seen a unity candle, the mothers light the outside candles at the beginning of the ceremony and then the bride and groom take them and light the center one after their vows. If you specifically don’t want to do the bride/groom part for the center, I think it would be nice to have the moms do it – but, if you do, I suggest adding an explanation of the significance in your program or something or else I think people will be confused as to why you’re not lighting the central candle yourself.
Post # 9
Yeah, the one I’ve seen, the mothers lit the candles that the bride and groom then used to light the unity candle. (I also saw this in a Catholic wedding!)
Post # 10
I’ve never seen the mothers light the inside candle… typically they just light the outside ones and the couple lights the inside candle from their individual candles.
@Kimberley… maybe that’s common in your area, but the unity candle is not tradition in a Catholic Mass. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unity_candle
Post # 11
You could do this IF your priest agrees. So check with him first. A way to do it would be your siblings and mom’s have small tapers. Depending how many people we’re talking about there would have to be some ‘traffic control’ on the altar making sure there is enough room so no one is crowded out and no one lights someone’s hair or dress on fire…so maybe one family goes up and lights the candle, and sits down; and the other family comes up. As I said, depending on the size of the family you will have to make adjustments accordingly…assuming the priest says OK.
So, whomever holds a thin taper and lights their candles from the one stream of light on their side of the altar. They then light the outer candle. Second family repeats the process. The couple then takes the outside candle and lights the center candle.
Or you could have SMALL votices around the unity candle equally the # of siblings, and each sibling lights theirs; the mom’s light the taller candles to the side, and the couple lights the center candle with the mom candles. THIS IS PROVIDING THAT IT DOESN’T TURN INTO A BON FIRE AND THE BRIDE CATCHES ON FIRE when she reaches over the votives.
You will need to do a practice run long before the rehearsal to know exactly what type of candles you will use. Drip less are the best. For the votives there a Jewish memorial candles in glass which are perfect. It’s hard to scrape off the label, but with time and hot water it can be done. You will find them in the Jewish food aisle in the grocery store.
Post # 12
I found this really cool sand ceremony website that the suggest for blended famlies that they have the kids add the sand for the parents that is not mixed, you could do that with both your siblings and your Mothers. Then you two can do the mixing sand on top. In any case have a look, http://www.weddinglighthouse.com/index.php?p=1_12_Blended-Families
Post # 13
I just went to a wedding last month and they did that! Everyone loved it and thought it was beautiful!! It’s a very touching moment for the mothers as well!! Best Wishes!! =)
Post # 14
We’re going to do the Unity candle. My mom will light one taper from a votive already lit. His parents will together light the other one. FH and I will light the main candle together.
Post # 15
I’ve seen this at two Catholic ceremonies. They were more traditional, father walked the bride down the aisle, and presented her, so the mothers lit the unity candle together. Although I don’t think they called it a unity candle… maybe some other name.