Post # 1
Ok Bees, I’m struggling a bit! Yesterday, I had a good cry in the bathroom at university because I got 18/20 on a project. Yeah.. That’s right. 90% an A and I STILL CRIED.
What is with with me you ask?? Well I guess in high school my mom pushed me pretty good. I wasn’t always a good student but by the time I graduated, I was pretty much nailing it. My Mom expected A’s preferred perfect and did not approve of B’s. Maybe I got a bit of a complex out of that,maybe I’m asking too much of myself?
So I’m coming to understand thy maybe uni profs don’t give out perfect marks. This shatters my whole world. What is a person supposed to try to accomplish if it’s never going to be perfect?! I get so frustrated and I shouldn’t. I am doing good even! In all of my classes, I’ve it all A’s, except psych which I’m getting consistent B’s in (that teacher is rough!!) and my gpa is like.. 3.67 or something right now. Which is like, actually really good as far as I know. But I can’t get my brain wrapped around this whole I can’t make it perfect thing.
Any over achiever bees have any tips? How do I accept that iI’m doing my best and it doesn’t have to be perfect?! How do I get my mother out of my HEAD?! I’m almost 24, I live by myself and my mom is nothing but supportive and encouraging (now) I want to feel like I’m doing good because I AM and I don’t get why I can’t get past this 🙁
Post # 3
@lalalyanne: Oh man. I’m just in my first term back at college and I am consistently getting 95s and for the first few weeks I was DISTRAUGHT. Something just clicked in me that said ‘Dude… a 95 is something people work really hard for. You are busy with x, y, and z and you are still getting those. Stop it.’ And that was that. It’s not really advice but I wanted to let you know that someone else relates! 🙂
Post # 4
I graduated from High School after taking every AP class I could (and my school didn’t do that 5.0 BS for AP classes) with a 4.0.
I graduated from college with a 3.77. I also had a lot more fun in college and learned a lot more.
Not everyone gets into college – you won’t be the smartest one there. And it’s harder! But you’ll be challenged and learn a lot, and no one expects that you’ll ace everything. 3.77 was Summa Cum Laude at my engineering school and now (after a couple crappy ones) I have a really good job.
ETA – you will take exams that an 83 is a 4.0. God bless the curve.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
I graduated college with a 2.6 GPA. I got a slammin job because of my degree. Employers could care less about your GPA. Pass, get through it, have fun experiences, get work experience, and you’ll get a good job once you have that piece of paper in your hands. That’s really all they care about. (at least where i’m from!)
Post # 6
@lalalyanne: I used to be a lot like you! Then I started high school :p
Okay, in all seriousness, in my high school, some teachers were A LOT worse than most of my university professors. Squeezing blood out of a rock? Easy, compared to getting an A from my high school history teacher! I still shudder if I happen to meet him at the grocery store.
So my over achiever father sat me down after coming home from school crying one day and he told me some teachers/professors thought of the world this way:
A: the grade only God gets
B: the grade the teacher gets
C and below: students’ grades
It sounds crazy but it’s true, I swear!
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a fantastic student.
P.S.: I’m not American and we use different grading systems here (grades 1-5 in high school and 5-10 in college) but I tried to “translate” the best I could.
Post # 7
The best advice I got was from a professor.
“Look around you. You were all in the top 10% of your high school. You are all very smart, driven and focused. Now realize that only 10% of you can be in the top 10% here.”
Also, jobs don’t care about GPA once you get above a 3.0. If you get below that, they might ask what happened. And really, they are just looking for growth.
Post # 8
@BeachBride2014: Hey, your professor was a lot nicer than ours! On my first day of law school, one of the professors told us something like “Look around you. The person on your left and the person on your right are most likely not going to be sitting there next year”.
Post # 9
@lalalyanne: Are you in first year?
I always did really well in high school. 90s for the most part. I just about failed several first year classes. I just wasn’t prepared to study! I never knew how to study because I never needed to before and still got great grades. I also wasn’t prepared to be in classes with hundreds of student where you’re just a number and the prof couldn’t give two shits that you’re even there (I had high school classes with 8 students…). Let me tell you it was quite the shock.
I adjusted far better after first year and realized that generally those who get high marks in high school end up in university, and not everyone can still have high marks there. Just realize that you have to do your best, and learn stuff. If it’s not perfect, that’s really okay too. (I did much better after first year.)
In the end, it really doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not sure what field you’re in, but in mine no one cared what your average or GPA was once you graduated and looked for work. They just wanted motivated employees who wanted to learn and move up.
Post # 10
@lalalyanne: oh my God. We are twins.
I have no advice. I’m still panicking over the 92 on an exam I got.
Post # 11
@MsMeow: We got that thrown at us too in almost every first year class! Man that was scary. It turned out to be quite true too…. (Engineering) Mind you, I knew several people who dropped out of Engineering simply because they didn’t like the program.
Post # 12
As PP’s have noted, employers don’t generally look at your GPA. That said, grad schools do, and having a reference or two from professors are good to have as well.
I think that you have to look at studying/ perfect grades with a “diminishing marginal returns” lens. There will come a point where the extra effort to get a 19.5 instead of an 18 out of 20 just isn’t worth it (if you were going from like a 15 to an 18, then yeah). Anyway, my point is good grades are important, but no employer is going to split hairs over a 3.67 vs. 3.7. What they will look at are the things outside of school that make you a desirable candidate. Having your nose too far in the books isn’t a always a good thing.
Post # 13
I think this is a good lesson for real life. In the work world you’ll find that things are rarely perfect. You don’t have time to do a perfect job on many things.. you have to get used to the idea that sometimes having something finished is good enough.
I think you should strive for As and keep your high standards, since scholarships and grad school could be riding on it, but you need to stop beating yourself up when you don’t get perfect marks. And few people have a perfect 4.0 GPA. And yes, in some classes, no matter how well you do, the highest mark in the class could be a B. That’s just the way it is.
I was always a good student, but never was perfect. In university I let my grades slip and I graduated without the best GPA… well below yours. You know what? I still got the degree and I’ve had a great job for years. Most employers only care that you have a degree… mine didn’t even look at my GPA.
Post # 14
@sourcandy: Oh yes, many people dropped out of law school too, in fact, I think the “person on your left/right” thing pretty much came true. And I too know several people who could have handled the exams just fine but hated the program and decided they didn’t want to be lawyers after all.
Post # 15
@lalalyanne: I think there is a lot of good advice above about GPAs. Do your best, work hard and enjoy it. Most jobs just want to see something around 3.0. If you are considering graduate school though, you will want to highest GPA possible since you will be competing with other insanely smart individuals for spots. I would also reccommend working with your professors on their research and trying to get published as an undergrad. Those things, along with high GRE scores, can really help you get into a phenomenal graduate program. If that’s not the goal then, don’t be too hard on yourself. An A is an A! If it’s 90% or above (assumning your school doesn’t operate on the +/- system) you get the credit points and that is all that actually matters in the grand scheme of things. Breathe and remember getting an A at college is great. Be proud.
Post # 16
@futuremrs1986: This is a good point about sometimes extra effort for one extra point isn’t worth it.
In my first year programming class I actually didn’t even attempt to do an entire project (aside from the cover sheet…) because I knew I would spend far too much time agonizing over it and it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. I would have wasted away all that time on a project that wasn’t worth all that much in the end when I could have been spending the time studying for something else or doing other assignments that were worth more. (Keep in mind this class was probably the worst one of my university degree.)
It is a great lesson for the working world. You’ll realize even your bosses don’t want to spending hours of their time budget trying to perfect things than may quite possibly go unnoticed.