Post # 1
How do you address invitations for unmarried couples that live together? We have about 15 couples that fit into this category and when you google it I’m getting one of these three answers.
1. Mr. Mike Smith
Ms. Jane Jones
Guys name first because you know him better.
2. Ms. Jane Jones
Mr. Mike Smith
Women’s name first because it should be alphabetical by last name.
3. Ms. Jane Jones
Mr. Mike Smith
Women’s name first because the women’s name goes first.
Post # 3
I did option #1, for no real reason in particular. It just sounded nice.
Post # 4
The rule is alphabetical by last name.
Post # 5
Personally, Id put the guy’s name first… not because you know him better, but because it seems more proper to address the Gentleman first…
When you’d send a married couple the invitation, you would say “Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so” Not “Mrs. and Mr.”
I had a few of these too…and opted for guy first.
Post # 6
I would just go with what feels right to you 🙂 I doubt that any of them will notice either way because if they are an unmarried couple living together, they haven’t had much exposure to the wedding planning etiquette that we have had.
We went with option #1 and picked who we knew better to go first.
Post # 7
I am attending school to become a wedding planner. And accourding to my studys it is alphabetical order. Or if you know one person more than another like if it’s your friend and her boyfriend you can just address it to your friend. But make sure that inside the invitation instead of writing “Jane Do and Guest” you should write Jane Do and John Smith”. When a person states the word “guest” that gives the invitee the option to bring whoever they please, like a cousin, parent, sibling, friend, ect. Hope this was helpful to you!
Post # 8
I haven’t come across this yet, but in a way, I think that it’s probably proper to give them individual invitations. (A combined invitation is appropriate for a married couple, but they haven’t decided to marry, so they really don’t want to get mail together yet.) Traditionally, a plus one guest should be personally issued an invitation, so that would also be appropriate for two singles living together.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
Et. states that before marriage, the woman goes first regardless of whether you know her better or not. Post marriage, the male’s name goes first.
I did way too much crazy research on this pre-invites. 🙂
Post # 10
We did option #1 too, for no particular reason. Most people getting the invitations will neither know nor care what the “official” etiquette is, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though. I have heard that with engaged couples, you list the woman’s name first until they’re married and the man’s name first afterwards, but given that it sounds like these couples aren’t engaged yet anyway, I don’t really think it makes much difference. We did list the man’s surname first on all of our invites to married two-name families, but that was mainly because for 90% of those, the children had the man’s name, so it seemed logical to list the group with more people first (e.g., the Man’sName/Woman’sName Family). But, again, we totally made up that rule—and I don’t think anyone noticed one way or the other! 🙂
Post # 11
Women’s name first because it is proper. For gay couples, do it alphabetically. It is not necessary to give individual invites unless they are roommates and not a couple.
Post # 12
Guys name first because hes the male. the only way a woman goes first is because shes a Dr and hes not.
Post # 13
#1 because that is the main person we’re inviting I guess…if they were to break up I would still be inviting that person kinda thing. That’s the best explanation I have but I hadn’t thought about it much to be honest!
Post # 14
I voted for whoever you know better goes first, but I’m not one to follow etiquette, lol.
Post # 15
I’m not sure if it really matters these days. For me, I will address it to whoever we know better or are related to. If you know both in the couple pretty much equally, then I would go by last name. I really don’t think it will be noticed.
Post # 16
I don’t think it really matters, it’s more of a personal preference kind of thing. We did option 2 and listed names based on alphabetical order. Honestly, I don’t know that anyone would really notice either way, most people aren’t paying attention to the envelope.