(Closed) Unmarried Couples That Live Together

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which way is correct?
    Option 1 : (28 votes)
    54 %
    Option 2 : (5 votes)
    10 %
    Option 3 : (19 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I did option #1, for no real reason in particular.  It just sounded nice.

    Post # 4
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    The rule is alphabetical by last name.

    Post # 5
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Personally, Id put the guy’s name first… not because you know him better, but because it seems more proper to address the Gentleman first…

    When you’d send a married couple the invitation, you would say “Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so” Not “Mrs. and Mr.”  

    I had a few of these too…and opted for guy first.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I would just go with what feels right to you 🙂 I doubt that any of them will notice either way because if they are an unmarried couple living together, they haven’t had much exposure to the wedding planning etiquette that we have had.

    We went with option #1 and picked who we knew better to go first.

    Post # 7
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I am attending school to become a wedding planner. And accourding to my studys it is alphabetical order. Or if you know one person more than another like if it’s your friend and her boyfriend you can just address it to your friend. But make sure that inside the invitation instead of writing “Jane Do and Guest” you should write Jane Do and John Smith”. When a person states the word “guest” that gives the invitee the option to bring whoever they please, like a cousin, parent, sibling, friend, ect. Hope this was helpful to you!

    Post # 8
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I haven’t come across this yet, but in a way, I think that it’s probably proper to give them individual invitations.  (A combined invitation is appropriate for a married couple, but they haven’t decided to marry, so they really don’t want to get mail together yet.)  Traditionally, a plus one guest should be personally issued an invitation, so that would also be appropriate for two singles living together. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4382 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    Et. states that before marriage, the woman goes first regardless of whether you know her better or not. Post marriage, the male’s name goes first.

    I did way too much crazy research on this pre-invites. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We did option #1 too, for no particular reason. Most people getting the invitations will neither know nor care what the “official” etiquette is, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though. I have heard that with engaged couples, you list the woman’s name first until they’re married and the man’s name first afterwards, but given that it sounds like these couples aren’t engaged yet anyway, I don’t really think it makes much difference. We did list the man’s surname first on all of our invites to married two-name families, but that was mainly because for 90% of those, the children had the man’s name, so it seemed logical to list the group with more people first (e.g., the Man’sName/Woman’sName Family). But, again, we totally made up that rule—and I don’t think anyone noticed one way or the other! 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee

    Women’s name first because it is proper. For gay couples, do it alphabetically. It is not necessary to give individual invites unless they are roommates and not a couple.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Guys name first because hes the male. the only way a woman goes first is because shes a Dr and hes not.

    Post # 13
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    #1 because that is the main person we’re inviting I guess…if they were to break up I would still be inviting that person kinda thing.  That’s the best explanation I have but I hadn’t thought about it much to be honest!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted for whoever you know better goes first, but I’m not one to follow etiquette, lol.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m not sure if it really matters these days.  For me, I will address it to whoever we know better or are related to.  If you know both in the couple pretty much equally, then I would go by last name.  I really don’t think it will be noticed.

    Post # 16
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think it really matters, it’s more of a personal preference kind of thing. We did option 2 and listed names based on alphabetical order. Honestly, I don’t know that anyone would really notice either way, most people aren’t paying attention to the envelope.

    The topic ‘Unmarried Couples That Live Together’ is closed to new replies.

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