(Closed) Unmotivated fiance – Need advice

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
964 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
tessa08:  She’s exactly right. His need to change and grow needs to come from within himself. If it comes from you, that will be the pattern you set up for life. He will slack and you will crack the whip. You will each eventually resent the heck out of the other. 

If being a motivated individual who takes care of business is not who he is, wouldn’t you rather know that now, accept it, and move on?

Post # 17
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am not convinced based on what you have said that he is lazy or unmotivated. He is still in college apparently and uncertain about what he wants to do. Common at that age.

I decided as I entered my senior year of college that the major I picked was not for me. Agonized about approaching graduation. Applied to law school and got accepted because I could not think of what else to do. But it didn’t feel right. Declined the law school offer last minute when I decided something else was a better choice for me. Finally found something I loved.

Of course it is frustrating when you want to get married.


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