(Closed) Unnecessary Drama =(

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If I had been in the same situation I don’t think I would have ran after her either if she had been rude and cursed at me.  I would definitely talk to her privately and ask her how she feels about the situation and then tell her how you feel about the situation.  After you both have talked I would give it some time to see if things can be repaired, if not then I would ask her to step down.  When you talk to her make sure you don’t focus on her actions, but talk about how it made you feel when she did somethinng that you didn’t like.  That should help her not be so defensive about her side of the story and shut you out.  Good luck and I hope everything can be worked out!!!

Post # 4
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with Daisylynn.  You need to have a good sit down talk to her.  That’s the best way to get this resolved before the wedding.  If she’s trying to turn this around on you all and not accepting responsibility for her own actions, she might never.  As a daughter of an alcoholic, people see things really differently while drunk.  So she may only remember bits of that evening and be dead set that you all are in the wrong.  And if she’s really stubborn, she’s not going to be the first to make things right.  

Good Luck with getting this all settled.

Post # 5
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

ugh, you know what i’ve realized about weddings?  its a time when some people are growing up and maturing and the people who aren’t stand out like sore thumbs.  i mean really getting that drunk at an event that is to celebrate someone else is so selfish and a mature person wouldn’t do that – or if they accidentally did they would be mortified.  clearly she does have issues whether they be alcoholic or just plain old self-involvedness my guess is that based on your description of others having observed this for awhile she’s not going to suddenly do a 180.

if she weren’t your Bridesmaid or Best Man what would you do? 

Post # 7
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d let her know that you’re not entirely sure how you feel, but that if she feels she will be unable to perform the duties happily and problem-free, especially when working with your other friend that she should probably step down. It’s not fair to anyone, especially you that she cause drama on such an important day.

Post # 8
272 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like there’s something big going on for her – either she’s so mortified by how she behaved that she’s too ashamed to be around your group of friends, or she’s working on sobriety and needs to take a step back and take some time for herself.  I wouldn’t focus too much on the wedding other than to let her know that your friendship will still stand even if she can’t be in the wedding as a bridesmaid.  I’m assuming there will be alcohol at the wedding as well, which may be something she’s trying to avoid.

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