(Closed) unofficial consultant

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

If you want her with you on your day, ask her! It shouldn’t matter if she reciprocates or not.

Post # 4
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have a few thoughts. 1) is that people choose their bridal party for multiple reasons, and it’s really  unfair for you to judge her for whatever choices she made. She may have known these girls for a really long time and felt obligated to have them as bridesmaids. Also just because someone chooses a Bridesmaid or Best Man and not you doesn’t mean they love you less. Sometimes people have their brridal party picked for a very long time, or they have already told all these girls that they were going to be in their wedding when they get married, and when the time comes they feel stuck. 

2) A lot of times people do not stay friends with all of their BM’s long term and they regret the decisoins they made in their bridal party, she probably already does but she cannot go back on that now. 

3) By her asking you to be something special at the wedding, or put you in the program she is already showing you that you are important to her, wether or not you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Being a bridesmaid is not the be all and end all regarding the importance of a friendship. But she can’t go backand make you a Bridesmaid or Best Man and kick someone out. She probably already feels “over capacity” 

4) You should never base YOUR decision on someone elses choices. Like I said, just because you aren’t a bm doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you and put a lot of importance on your friendship. Be the friend you are to her, continue to be that friend, and have her in your wedding if that is what is important to you. Don’t assume to know how she feels or what she is thinking because you aren’t in her head. 

5) Be proud that you are such a good friend to her, and that these other girls are not, it just further proves that you probably mean so much to her because you are treating her the way she deserves to be treated, and YOU will be the one she turns to in the coming years! No amount of bridesmaid dress buying can replace that!

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