(Closed) unorthodox bridesmaids?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have three out of town bridesmaids–my Maid/Matron of Honor lives an hour away, and two live in other states (one across the country). It’s fine. We communicate via email/text/a Facebook group. I don’t really need or expect their help planning. That isn’t what your wedding party is for.

Post # 4
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

All 4 of my Bridespersons live in different cities across the country from me. They are coming the week of to hang/help (I’m sure I’ll be done by then)/party it up. I’m going to arrange a trip to the center city with them to go dress shopping, but other than that we’ve just been online/texting.

 

ETA: I think you’ll find that there are so many voices/opinions about your wedding that you’ll really enjoy having some space from the bridal party while planning.

Post # 5
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My two brothers are bridesmen. They were a little confused when I first asked them but now they are loving it! One of my bridesmaids is closer but doesn’t drive so her involvement is limited and my Maid/Matron of Honor could be moving across the country at any moment if her Fiance gets a job. So I’d definitely say all of my bridesmaids are unorthodox but I love it!!

Post # 6
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

my Maid/Matron of Honor is in Florida and she has been WONDERFUL! We text/google chat and she helps with all the DIY/craft stuff as well as the graphic design elements. I can’t say enough great things about her! It’s worked out really well for us ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 7
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Three out of my six bridesmaids lived far away.  My SIL was at college out of state, so I saw her occasionally, but she wasn’t around to help plan at all.  One of the others lives several states away and didn’t see me at all until the wedding, and the last one lives on the opposite side of the globe (and didn’t even know what a bridesmaid is or does until I explained it to her…  they don’t really have bridesmaids in her culture).  My girls were great.  They gave advice on what colors they like the most and looked at my Pinterest.  They answered what questions they could.  I didn’t expect them to do much because of the distance, though.  I thought they did a great job because I didn’t expect them to do anything.

That being said, my wedding wouldn’t have happened without my three BMs who live in the area.  Those amazing, amazing girls worked their butts off to make my vision come to life, and I am so incredibly grateful for it.

I am so happy my out of town BMs were able to be a part of my day, but I know I would have struggled to get everything done if I hadn’t had the help of my in town BMs.  Then again, my wedding was extremely DIY heavy, and if yours isn’t, you may not need any help from people in town.

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve got one brideshelper that lives nearby. The others are all over the place – one (male) 4 hours away, one 8 hours away, and my sister gets back from Europe about 2 months before my wedding. So I’ve mostly been planning with my local bridesmaid with regards to vendors in the area, and her and my mother and Future Mother-In-Law are helping with the dresses. If I get a chance in the next few weeks, I’ll probably fly up to Sydney and visit my friend there for a bit of dress shopping, and my male bridesmaid is looking into cake stuff, so we’ve spread out the tasks a bit ๐Ÿ™‚ My sister emails ideas for dresses or decor when she can, so she’s not left out either.

I think just work with what you’ve got – you shouldn’t pick a bridesmaid based on how much help they’ll be, these are meant to be important people providing emotional support for your wedding and marriage.

Post # 9
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

My best friend was my Maid/Matron of Honor and she lives 10 hours away from me. We text every day so she was very helpful in giving advice randomly when I needed it. I called her from the dress shop when I bought my dress to get her opinion. She took the time to drive up one weekend to look at bridesmaid dresses and meet the other people in the wedding party. She was great! It’s not how close in miles someone is that makes the difference, but how close in heart ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

5 out of 7 of my bridesmaids/bridesmen are in different state or city than me. The easiest thing for all of us was for me to pick out a color and fabric for the dress and let them take it from there. I sent them some examples of dresses I liked and pictures of bridesmaids in mismatched navy dresses and they’ve sent me pictures along the way as they have bought their dresses (though I didn’t say they needed to).

Post # 12
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my BMs lives 2 hours away from me but they are family so they come down a bit often for family functions. The only thing they need to be down here for really is help picking out the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, the bridal shower, and the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I went wedding dress shopping in their area so they could be a part of it and I’m having my bachelorette party in their area as well. So a nice compromise ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Another solution would be uneven sides — I thought about “bridesmen” for awhile, but ended up going with just 3 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen.

Post # 14
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My maid/gay of honor and matron/gaytron of honor have already been so super involved via fbook and text/mail that I think it’ll be fine. I truly believe that your party will be as involved as they want to be regardless of distance. Don’t sweat it. If you end up needing a lot of DIY help holla at near family/bees. 

Post # 15
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I had five bridesmaids. One lived in town, one lived 2 hours away, another 4 hours away. The other two (which includes my MOH) lived 2,000 miles away. It was a bummer, not getting to dress shop with everyone, but they were all really involved. They were all in town a week before. It all ended up working out just fine! They were super great and were there for me, no matter what. It worked out very well :-).

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