(Closed) Unplanned Pregnancy

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@louiseW:  
If I were in your shoes, I’d tell him outright, “Honey, I’ve missed my period, I took a test and it came back positive, I get this is a shock to you, but it is to me too, I’m going to need your help and support till I get the blood test results back.”  
If not I’d be on the phone to my mum, sister or a close friend to discuss options.
It sounds like a blessing in disguise, who know’s your partner may be excited or just scared too. I doubt it very much he’ll be angry. Take a deep breath and tell someone you can trust.
A “problem” shared is a “problem” halved.  

I’ve been in a similar situation myself and I know what you’re going through, I told the other half, I say I told…. I blurted “I’m late, I’ve done a test, I think there’s a line… Can you check it for me”… His reaction was to come over and inspect the test “It could be a line, I’m not sure, do another one again”
Certainly wasn’t the reaction I expected.

Hope this helps  

Post # 4
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

first of all, i want to tell you that it’ll be ok! i had an unplanned pregnancy 3 years ago, and while it was hard sometimes, we figured it out. i was at a wedding this year where the bride was 5 months along, and guess what? no one cared! i may just caution you that you probably want to re-order your dress a few sizes bigger. the pregnant bride i saw this year didn’t need a special maternity dress.

keep your chin up! your Fiance is marrying you because he loves you. and you didn’t do this on purpose. he may not react in the most perfect way, but i’m sure he’ll come around.

Post # 5
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

First off, Congrats!  I know you must have a million thoughts running through your head but most people with unplanned pregancies usually can’t imagine their life without their child when all is said and done. People will get over the initial “shock” that your are pregnant. I would go ahead with your wedding. Most aren’t showing too much by 4 months. And if you are. so what! My friend got married at 6 months and she looked adorable.  Although I am sure your Fiance will be shocked hopefully he will be supportive.  Start taking prenatals right away. Don’t want for a blood test to confirm.

Post # 7
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Awww don’t cry this will be a happy time πŸ™‚  My brother’s fiance got preg when they were engaged and at first he was SHOCKED but you know it didn’t take him long to be really happy and excited about it (he was so proud when he told me he was going to be a dad!)  So don’t worry, thats part of being a soon to be married couple, you got to roll with the changes!!  You will make it work I know it!  Congrats!! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sending you HUGE hugs.  Whatever choice you make, you will be ok. Hang in there!!

Post # 9
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My son was an unplanned pregnancy. Fiance was so supportive when I told him that I was pregnant and told me that he would stick by me no matter what (we weren’t engaged when I found out I was pregnant). It’s definitnely a blessing, and I’m sure your Fiance will be totally understanding. It isn’t the worst thing that can happen, but it’s usually the best!

Just like @mrs.stormylove said, I could not imagine my life without my son. He’ll be 7 months old next week and I still look at him every day in awe that I created him and how lucky I am to have him in my life. I wouldn’t give him up for the world!

Post # 10
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MissusH2Be:  I love all that you said πŸ™‚

 

@louiseW:  Once you have your blood test, tell him and let him know you just need his support right now, not to be criticized/play the blame game. I always think that most men, once after the initial shock that their partner is pregnant (planned or otherwise) become pretty excited πŸ™‚ You will be ok, and it will all work out. Congrats! Let us know how the doctors test goes.

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I hope you both can come to a decision you are happy with. if its not the right time, its not the right time, and no one should make you feel bad about your decision

Post # 12
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Please don’t wait to tell him. It sounds like you need a friend and partner through this. So he’s gotten 2 hours of sleep – whoodeedoo. If you’re marrying him and he’s marrying you, you must respect and love each other – this is one of those trying moments for which you’ll need your “other half.” You shouldn’t have to carry this burden alone while he goes about his day as usual. Please tell him.

Post # 13
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Good luck with the conversations you’ll be having! Also, what a tactless vacciene technician. 

In related discussion… you got pregnant (possibly) on Yaz? Yikes. If I’m not mistaken, that one is supposed to be 99% effective if used correctly. I highly recommend talking with your gyno about anything that may be unknowingly reducing the effectiveness of your birthcontrol. If your gyno can’t find any, you may be advised to use a second form or switch to a different pill. I believe Yaz is low-dose… maybe too low in your case. 

Things that reduce the effectiveness of the pill (may include Yaz): missing a pill, taking at different times of the day, antibiotics, smoking, certain herbal supplements, etc. Your doctor can give you a better list.  

Yaz does cause birth defects in babies. I don’t know if that knowledge would affect your decisions, but if you were pregnant and continued taking Yaz unknowingly… not good. 

Post # 14
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MrsBroccoli:  I thought the same thing about the vaccine person. People are always so quick to assume that pregnancy is good news to the pregnant person. Or that it’s appropriate to bring too much attention / conversation to a pregnancy under 12 weeks. 

OP, I understand where you’re coming from about your nerves in telling your Fiance, but there’s no reason for that if he’s supportive of you and cares for your overall wellbeing.  I know it’s a burden to carry this news by yourself, but he made the issue along with you. Let him know about it so you don’t have the added stress of keeping it a secret. Are you upset because you think he’ll feel the opposite way you do? Are you leaning towards keeping it, and you’re upset he might pressure you to not keep it, for example? Or are you scared of the process of finding out how to take care of it if you keep with your decision that you’re simply not ready? 

No matter what you do, I hope you find peace in telling him soon. And if you  need to PM me, I’ve been in your shoes once before. 

Post # 15
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How far along are you? I’ve often debated what I’d do if we got pregnant and I know it’s a hard choice. We 100% aren’t ready for a baby yet and I wouldn’t want to give my baby an awful life or hold it against that baby that it came too soon.

Post # 16
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t be holding this information from him. That would make me more angry if I was in his position.

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