(Closed) Unplugged Wedding

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
333 posts
Helper bee

Just warning you here…you’re gonna get chewed out for this….for some reason a lot of bees get SUPER offended over unplugged weddings and I cannot understand why. 

We are just having our minister make a brief comment about it while keeping it lighthearted. We considered a sign but most people won’t even look at it. You’ll still have a few people with their phones out but hopefully they will be a bit more considerate about it. 

I was just at a wedding and they did not do unplugged and the whole time I could hear the phone picture noise and one guest had taken a video and decided to rewatch it in the MIDDLE of the ceremony without the sound turned off…like WHAT?? He got rude stares and turned it off but it was so bad.

Post # 4
1112 posts
Bumble bee

MrsSapphire:  I’m not passionate either way about unplugged vs. open weddings. My wedding was not an unplugged wedding and only a few people had camera’s out. Honestly, I didn’t even notice them. And I only know this because a few people have sent me the pictures they took. I loved seeing the pictures my friends & family sent me of our ceremony because we had to wait 10 weeks for our wedding pictures to come back. It was lovely to see all of those moments from many different angles. I should add that nobody got in my photographer’s way.

As for an unplugged wedding, as a guest, I’d be annoyed (I’m an adult – don’t tell me what to do or how to behave), but would respect that couple’s decision. I would prefer to have the officiant announce something before the bridal party enters, and have a note on the program instead of a sign somewhere. Chances are, I won’t see a sign.

Just remember if you tell people not to take pictures, you’re taking away an opportunity for those candid shots of your friends and family, or posed family shots that your guests might take. Unless your photographer is everywhere at once that is! 

Post # 7
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

MrsSapphire:  I just wanted to comment to give you a thought to think about. You won’t have professional pictures back for a while – so keep in mind that guests photos can provide you with that instant gratification of seeing pictures of your ceremony. Those were some of my favorite pictures – people started sending them in or posting on facebook the next day.

Imagine seeing zero ceremony pictures for a couple weeks/months. Just something to think about! 🙂 

Post # 8
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Eh, I think there are bigger fish to fry.  It kind of makes you seem like a control freak to be all NO PICTURES!!!!!  Just kind of annoying.  I had no idea people were taking pics during my ceremony, but it was kind of fun seeing them on FB later that night!

Post # 9
668 posts
Busy bee

We are doing an unplugged wedding until the first dance. We have it in our wedding website FAQ with this verbiage:

“We invite our guests to be fully present in the moment and respect the sanctity of our ceremony by turning all devices off. Once the first dance is over, you’re welcome to turn your devices back on. If you use instagram, our hashtag is #HappilyHarrison2017. We’d love to see your traveling to, getting ready, and reception photos! And we promise to share our photos that our talented photographers will be capturing.”

We will likely make a sign for the venue and have our officiant make a brief announcement, too.

Post # 10
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It’s all about how to communicate to the guests. If you literally say “I paid $$$ for my photographer I don’t want your crappy iPhone pics,” it’s kinda (true but) rude. lol

I think having the officiant make a simple announcement will deter most folks, not all though.

Post # 11
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

As an adult, don’t tell me what to do.  I am capable of sitting and taking a picture in a non-blocking manner (ie not jumping out into the aisle or standing up or holding my phone high up in the air).  When people have unplugged weddings it is becasue they are worried about one or two people in particular so I think it is rude to then “punish” all of your guests because Aunt Sally or Uncle Joe are crazy when taking pictures.  And guess what?  Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe are probably also the type to completely disregard your unplugged request anyways.  So not only are you being rude to the majority of your guests, those that you are worried about won’t abide by it anyways.

So I think everyone should just relax and realize that trying to control your guests never goes over well.  And also consider that if your guests don’t take any pictures during your ceremony and god forbid something happens to the pictures your photog took then you won’t have any pictures at all.

Like Kikibear said, I think there are much more important things to worry about, like things you actually have control over.

Post # 12
1624 posts
Bumble bee

Several people here have mentioned that the officiant can ask guests not to take pictures during the ceremony, a sign or note in a program might be missed. I’d probably leave out the part where you want guests “in the moment” of your ceremony while forbidding them to memorialize it with their own personal photo

Post # 13
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I was anti cameras before my wedding. My Darling Husband and I actually fought about it, I lost. Thank gosh I did. My pictures took 2 months to come in. I was able to get shots my photographers missed (yes, its possible) and even video. I did see my aunt’s ipad when I was walking down the aisle. I do remember that. But at the same time, she also got the cutest video of my niece and nephew walking down the aisle that I cherish. Just food for thought.

As for telling your guests if you are still gun-ho. Use your pastor/priest/GOP. People still may not follow the ‘rules’, but at least they will all hear.

Post # 14
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We had our officiant make an announcement before our families came down the aisle.  We’d also talked about it to people we thought might be “problem guests” beforehand, telling them that we wanted them to have the night off and enjoy themselves, so we hired photographers.  I don’t think any guests were offended, and our ceremony was disruption-free.  

We let people take pics during the cocktail hour and reception all they wanted.  And having to wait a month to see ceremony pictures was truly NOT A BIG DEAL.  It was worth it to get back pictures that didn’t have a bunch of phones all in them (like many of our reception pics had – and even though we had guests taking pics and videos at the reception, many of them never shared those pics with us or online, so we didn’t get to see them while we waited anyway)

Post # 15
416 posts
Helper bee

I’m all for unplugged ceremonies and find pepple block each other when they don’t mean to. It’s not that certain people really couldn’t care less, but that 20 people have their cameras in the air during the ceremony. We are asked to put our phones away often; I don’t see why it’s a big deal and have nevet heard of anyone being upset about it other than on this board. Obviously how you say things matter. 

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