(Closed) Unplugged wedding ceremony (advice/rant)

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
9669 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

ellep91010:  I’m not a fan of unplugged weddings. I just think it’s a silly request. I’ve never been to a wedding and seen a sea of cameras out anyway, usually just a couple and not for the whole ceremony. Plus sometimes guests get awesome pictures and if something happens to your professional ones, you aren’t left with no pictures. 

ETA: If your Future Mother-In-Law isn’t paying, I’d stop telling her your plans. Just be vague and change the subject when she asks.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  hikingbride.
Post # 3
Member
13589 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, I’m usually in the minority on this one, but yes, I get annoyed when I’m told to put my phone away or not take photos.  I’m an adult and don’t need to be lectured or told how to act in public.  At a dear friend or relative’s wedding, I’d like to snap a photo or two.  I don’t bring an iPad or a giant contraption to do it, but I will try to snap a quick one as they walk down the aisle, or say their vows.

Some of my favorite wedding photos were photos my guests took on their cameras.  I loved seeing the selfies that came out of the reception.  I had 135 guests who could snap photos, and only one photographer who could only be in one place at a time.  I got so many different angles, perspectives, and filters from seeing guest photos.

I get it — someone here will inevitably post a photo they found on Pinterest about the photographer being blocked by guests taking pictures.  That didn’t happen at my wedding, or any other wedding I’ve ever been to.  I’ve seen photographers ask people to step aside, but never heard any bride complain about a guest taking a photo on their phone causing them to miss the first kiss photo (*Never heard in real-life.  I’ve heard lots of whining about it on WB).  They’re professionals — they know how to work the lighting, how to get the shot, how to be in the heart of the day.  I understand why some people think this is a good option, but truly, as a guest, I’d side-eye any announcement or comment to turn off my phone.  I might make a joke to Darling Husband that if I have to be told how to behave like a child, maybe my meat will come pre-cut too, so I don’t have to be trusted with a knife.

Post # 4
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

How do you know that they can’t enjoy your ceremony and take pictures at the same time?  Maybe by taking pictures means that they are really enjoying your wedding and want to capture the moment.

And you going out to dinner vs being at your wedding are two very different things.  You will not be interacting with your guests during your ceremony.  So long as your Fiance and your officiant aren’t whipping out their phones then it shouldn’t matter what your guests are doing.

People have been taking pictures at weddings since cameras were invented.  They want to capture a happy moment in your life (and a happy moment in their friends or family members life).  What is so wrong with that?

I also find it rude to tell others what to do.  So no, I am not a fan of this unplugged wedding crap.

I was actually very happy that people took pictures and video of my ceremony/reception.  I didn’t have to wait for the professional pictures before getting to see pictures of the day.  And there are some pictures that my guests took that I actually like more then what the professional took.  My guests were also able to capture different angles that the pro didn’t.  And I know someone whose pro photog lost all of their pictures so the only pictures that she has of her wedding day are the ones taken by her guests.  Guess she is happy she didn’t push for an unplugged wedding huh?

Post # 5
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have ceremony professional photos where my eye is immediately drawn to the cell phones/cameras out taking photos. I wish I’d asked for them to be put away during the ceremony. 

Post # 6
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

Chill out. You don’t need to tell adults (especially your MIL) that they can’t take pictures. Your photographer is a professional, and should be able to work around this. 

Post # 7
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

ellep91010:  You can request this…but in this day and age where everyone is velcroed to their cell phone I am sure several guest will still take and post photos. I would have a sign and have it printed on the first page of the program, if you are having one.

Some guest may be offended, but some guest may be offended you had cake and not cupcakes. It’s your wedding, you are paying for the day, request away.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  BrideK2Wings.
Post # 8
Member
942 posts
Busy bee

My friend had an unplugged wedding.  It was really nice and allowed all of the guests to just focus on the event.  One person came late and ended up acting obnoxiously while taking pictures.  I heard guests complaining about her because her cell phone blocked their view of the ceremony.

At another wedding I attended, it was not an unplugged ceremony.  I sat beside someone who did not turn the sound off on their camera and took constant pictures.  The people sitting behind me were murmuring with aggrivation about the sound and their view.

As for ours, I don’t care what the guests do, but my Fiance really wants to do an unplugged ceremony.

I think if you want to have an unplugged ceremony, go for it!  I am really sorry your Mother-In-Law is making planning less fun 🙁 If she has a problem with the rule, maybe you could let her be the exception.  You could privately tell her all other guests will be requested to keep their cameras away but she can use hers since it is her son’s wedding and you want her to feel honored.

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

You can ask people to put their phones away/not take pictures, but you can’t actually *make* them do anything. I’d go ahead and have the request announced before the ceremony starts, but be warned that people tend to do what they want regardless.

Post # 10
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m on the fence with the whole fence with the whole unplugged idea. I initally wanted to do this at my wedding, by my Fi at the time threw a stink about it. Instead I just let it go.

My first vision walking down the aisle? My aunt and her GINORMOUS (sp) Ipad. Joy. Hoping you cannot see it in our photos though!

Post # 11
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

My own parents are so glued to their phones that idk how they are going to keep them out of their hands during our wedding, let alone our guests. We wouldn’t even attempt this because there’s just no way our friends and family would go along with it. I’m just praying no one’s phone goes off during the ceremony….one would think people would have the politeness to put them on silent, but unfortunately the older people from my culture are not clued in/considerate in that regard.

Post # 12
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

ellep91010:  Some people really love that everyone has their phones out to capture candid moments and make their own record of the event. I personally think it’s annoying and distracting. Unless you need to use your phone camera/screen as a vision aid, you can be a grown up and leave that shit in your pocket for twenty minutes of your life. If you’ve ever been in a museum or an office or a classroom you’ve probably done it before and lived to tell the tale. 

A nicer way to say it: “We invite you to be fully present during our ceremony rather than experience it through a lense or a screen. We have a lovely professional photographer, [Name], documenting the day, so please keep your phones and cameras off–we promise we’ll share the pictures, and we promise to pose with you for a selfie or two during the reception!”

I would show her the professional wedding photos that are totally ruined because a guest is trying to snap one for themselves–you can’t fix blinding flash or the red dot from hell or Aunt Sally squatting in the foreground. You can even have your officiant make a brief announcement about keeping phones and cameras off–I bet Future Mother-In-Law won’t have the brass balls to play amateur photographer immediately after.

Post # 13
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We are planning to do an “unplugged” ceremony. The thing that sold me on it was a pro pic of my sister at her wedding coming down the aisle, with my cousin in the background, stepped into the aisle taking a pic on her phone. Just NO. I don’t think it’s rude to make a request of your guests… on the other hand, I think it’s a little rude to get in the way of my photographers’ shots, which I’m paying almost $3k for. I know we can’t MAKE anyone do anything, but these are all our friends and family and I’m hoping they can oblige our one request. We won’t be asking people to put their phones away persay, just to refrain from photography….I honestly don’t care if someone wants to have their phone in their lap checking ESPN scores.

We are planning to have a sign and to have our officiant say it at the beginning as well. I would talk to your Mother-In-Law and frame it as a convenience/good thing for her benefit… like, “we’re paying $X for a photographer so we want you to just enjoy yourself at the ceremony and not worry about scrambling around trying to take pictures.”

Post # 15
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Speck_:  How do you know that I am not fully present even though I am taking a picture.  A wedding ceremony is not something that is difficult to follow.  I can listen and take pictures at the same time.  It really isn’t that hard.

Also there is a big difference between a state run museum or a state run school telling me that pictures are not allowed and some close friends who feel the need to control their guests.

And oh my god with the professional photos that are ruined.  Do you know how many pictures professional photographers take at weddings?  Hundreds.  They also usually set their camera to take multiple pictures in a row.  So when they click once they are actually capturing 5-10 photos.  So if a cell phone is in the way they have 9 other pictures to choose from.

Like I said, taking pictures is nothing new at weddings.  But for some reason it is super trendy now to tell your guests what to do.

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