(Closed) Unplugged wedding ceremony (advice/rant)

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 61
452 posts
Helper bee

I would definitely recommend announcing a request for people to put phones away. Although my photographer was able to take beautiful photos with perfect lighting, in multiple photos I see people holding up their phones and can tell certain photos are cropped to get huge iPads out of the photo. It’s not always about “wanting people to be present” – sometimes it’s about not wanting a bunch of phones blocking others’ view and being in your professional photos.

Post # 62
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

ellep91010:  We were unplugged the entire day as it was a very small wedding and we had two photographers. Your fiance needs to be assertive and put his foot down to his mother. It’s not her day and she will greatly offend you if she goes against your wishes. Is that what she wants?

Post # 63
4036 posts
Honey bee

A picture’s worth a thousand words … (BTW,  by the looks on the childrens’ faces, they were terrified).

Post # 64
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

barbie86:  I don’t take pictures either but a lot of people do and would, they might not have at your ceremony but some people will take pictures no matter what and especially if they are told not too. It just depends on the type of people.

I didn’t feel a pressing need to have ceremony pictures until I got them and now they are my favourite ones! The guest took a different angle to our photographers and just really showed our expression and how much we loved our ceremony as they were right to the side of us. I didn’t notice the pictures being taken at all and you cant see them being taken in any of the pro pictures. I swear my wedding was full of ninja photographers as I didn’t see any pictures being taken but we had loads! Even my pro photographers were hardly seen yet I got so many great photos.

Post # 65
416 posts
Helper bee

I get hugely annoyed when I can’t see the bride and groom at a wedding because there are a ton of phones in the air. If that hasn’t been your experience maybe it’s not worth worrying about but I assume it is a concern for you since you’re asking.

I will be having an unplugged ceremony. No sign, just a casual part of the officiants speech. Like most things, it’s less what you say and how you say it. No one likes to feel like they are being talked down to. A simple request to turn off their devices and enjoy the moment should suffice. 

Post # 66
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

ellep91010:  We had an unplugged ceremony. We didn’t have a sign or tell anyone ahead of time, we just had our officiant announce that we’d like them to turn their phones off and/or put them away (on silent). It was great and a lot of people got more into the ceremony because they weren’t focusing on their phones trying to get the best light/angle/whatever.

The only person who wasn’t unplugged was Father-In-Law and that’s because he was facetiming DH’s grandpa, aunt, uncle, and cousin who couldn’t make it to the wedding and were super sad about it.

Do you girl, it’s your and FIs wedding – it should reflect you guys and what you want/believe in. Hell, I changed out of my dress and into PJs mid way through our reception because it was cold and I wanted to dance and mingle comfortably. It was my wedding and I did what I want, didn’t matter what anybody else thought (though since everybody there new and loved us, the stuff we did wasn’t a shocker by any means lol).

Post # 67
13 posts
  • Wedding: April 2016

I am NOT allowing cameras our during our ceremony.  Our photographer is there for a reason….I don’t want pictures of people with cameras in front of their faces I want their faces.  Maybe make a cute sign, or put it in the wedding program to please put cameras and phones away during the ceremony only.

Post # 68
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Speck_:  Well the couple shouldn’t be telling them how to dress.  And yes, they have a designated time for an event.  That is pretty standard.  So is having selected food for an event.

And look, the wedding ceremony is for the couple.  They are the only two getting married at that moment in time.  I love to watch two people get married, but that ceremony has zero impact on me.  It doesn’t change my status.  I am just a witness.  So the solemreligious moment is only for the couple.  Now if I were actually part of the ceremony, meaning the bride or groom, then yes, I would find it very odd to be multitasking.  But as a witness, when all I have to do is watch, then snapping a few pics isn’t a big deal.

I just think this trend of people telling others what to do because it is their super speschul day is disgusting.  Instead of worrying about how your guests will ruin your day because omg they may wear jeans or take a photo with their phone, why not focus on the fact that these people are coming to support and celebrate with you.

Post # 69
2188 posts
Buzzing bee

ellep91010:  We did an unplugged ceremony. We got married in a cathedral and I asked out of respect for this religious ceremony, that guests refrain from taking photos during the ceremony. I don’t have horror story photos but I do have 2 guests, seated at the back (re:front and center of photos) who ignored our request. It’s not the end of the world, but one of my favorite pictures of us as a couple has these 2 friends with their nose in their phones. Had we not asked them not to take photos, I have no doubt it would have been half of our guests. Ultimately, it’s your call. Some people will (apparently) be miffed that you made a request of them. It could come across as controlling or micromanaging. In the end, I think it was the right call for our wedding, and may be for yours.

Post # 71
1504 posts
Bumble bee

A wedding ceremony is a sacrement.  The use of Cell Phones / Cameras detract from the sacred space during the ceremony.

I agree completely with unplugged weddings.  Now, when the photographer does the restaging for photos, it’s fair game.

Post # 73
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Am I the only one that really doesn’t mind having a few photo-bombs of my guests taking pictures??

I think it’s:

A) Awesome to see a face pop out of the crowd (“HAA! Look at uncle dave snapping a photo back there!”)

B) Will be kind of cool in the future to look back on (“OMG Look how ancient our cell phones were!!! Remember when we were all glued to the latest iPhone?? What a flashback!”)

C) Shows how invested my guests actually ARE in our wedding (“How sweet that they really cared enough to capture that moment personally! I’ll have to ask them if I can see that picture!”)

I don’t know, it still really doesn’t bother me but I guess you can say, out of respect for the sanctity of your vows that you would like the phones away. I just don’t think it’s a big deal to fret about honestly.

Post # 74
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

ellep91010:  So you are okay with people playing games on their phones, but just not taking pictures?  Yeah, that makes no sense.

And yes, as a guest the ceremony has no bearing on me.  It would happen if I was there or not.  I was generously asked to witness it so I attend and witness.  I like capturing a lovely moment between two people that I love and know, so yes I would like to take pictures of that moment.  And you said it yourself, the ceremony is sacred to the couple, not the guests.  They are there to witness it, that is all.  I just do not think it is appropriate to tell people HOW they are allowed to witness it.

I am sorry but I will never agree that unplugged weddings are okay.  I think it is incredibly self-centered and self-entitled to tell other adults what to do.  If you are so damn concern about how your professional pictures turn out then maybe don’t invite anyone to your wedding.  To me, I was more concerened about sharing my day with the people that I love and gave zero shits if that meant they were all standing there with phones in hand.  To me, that screams that they were excited for my wedding and wanted to capture the moment to have for themselves.

But what all this comes down to is not about “ooh I want people to be fully present in my ceremony.”  It is about couples who are overly concerned with getting pretty pictures rather then being polite to their guests.

Post # 75
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

SoonAsYouCan:  Apparently you and I are the only one’s that could give a rats ass about it.  I dont’ believe the “sanctity of our vows” bullcrap.  I think that it is just couples wanting perfect, magazine ready pictures .

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