(Closed) Unplugged wedding ceremony (advice/rant)

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 91
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I personally don’t care but my church has a rule of no phones or cameras since it’s a religious ceremony.  I just put it on my website that the church requested this.  The church says I have to put it on my ceremony pamphlet….

they also have strict rules on where the photographer goes as well.  Idk I’m not offended if someone asks to keep the ceremony unplugged.  I guess I just don’t have a strong opinion on it! Haha

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  wedbee0904.
Post # 92
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Movie theaters ask us to do it, restaurants ask us to do it,  why in the world should a wedding be any different.   Not everyone has the self control to leave their phones in  a pocket.   Going unplugged is a great way to make sure that interaction between the couple and guests  is intimate. 

Post # 93
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We’re having an unplugged ceremony. As soon as we’ve walked out married, everyone is welcome to take all the photos in the world.

No one is ENTITLED to document someone’s wedding ceremony, so yes, I do think it’s perfectly appropriate to request no cameras/phones. I would never take someone’s photo in any other circumstance without first asking their permission, so why would I deviate from that at a wedding of all things? We’re going to have a professional photographer capturing those moments but that doesn’t mean I’m going to blast them out on social media… And so I would prefer no one else did, either.

Like yes, it’s partially about wanting my own clear pictures and not to see a sea of cell phone screens when I look out at our guests. But it’s also about privacy. If I wanted thousands of people on Facebook to attend my wedding, they would have been invited. I know I’m going to be super emotional during my ceremony and we’re writing it ourselves so it’s highly personal to us. I don’t need hundreds of guests shots of it afterwards – I need to feel comfortable in that moment. If that’s being a bridezilla, then so be it *shrug*.

For what it’s worth, the only feedback I’ve gotten has been people telling me they wish they’d thought to do the same. So I’m not too concerned.

Post # 94
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’m all for an unplugged ceremony and not just because I’m a photographer. When we attend weddings guests, I have no desire to take photos. No offense, but why do I want pictures of YOUR wedding? I’m not going to frame them and if you hired a photographer, why would you want them? I challenge anyone who is saying that they can be present and take pictures to not take photos at the next big event you attend and see how different it is. As I said, I’m a photographer, as is my husband, and even at the birth of our son we didn’t take photos. Why? Because looking through a lens and really experiencing something in person are two entirely different things. 

Post # 95
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I am soooo Happy that my family and friends are awesome and respectful, I have had no hesitation in asking our offiant to introduce our photographers before the ceremony and to let them know that they have the photos under controland if everyone could refrain from taking picures during the ceremony(Reception time, the more photos the merrier IMO). Every person I have mentioned this too thinks its a fantastic idea(Especially considering my Future Father-In-Law LOOOVES taking photos with his giant tablet at the strangest times… we all giggled). I kind of feel that people that get upitty about being ‘told what to do’ are actually quite childish, and need to realise that when your response to a very simple request is ‘you cant tell me what to do, I’m not a child’ or ‘you cant make me do anything’ you sound like a child. But like I said, I am so happy that I have awesome, respectful family and friends!

 

I think at the end of the day, as much as your wedding is sharing a day with your guests, it is also your day, and I think the request is as simple as stating the start time of the ceremony or even TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO WEAR, oh the scandal!  

 

Good luck my dear, I hope you Mother-In-Law understands.

Post # 96
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We had an unplugged ceremony. I presume most people adhered to it but I was so nervous I didn’t notice. Because I had it I would respect the bride and groom’s decision. 

Post # 97
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

freckles071611:  “I dont’ believe the “sanctity of our vows” bullcrap.  I think that it is just couples wanting perfect, magazine ready pictures .”

That is a really unfair generalization. I belong to a conservative church in a conservative cultural tradition (Russian) and cell phone use within the church would be considered disrespectful – I have never seen anyone use a cell phone in our church, only in the foyer, classrooms etc. I am not having an announcement made about cell phones and I won’t have ushers policing the place, but I am making mention of this cultural difference on our wedding website.

We are not having the photographer take any photographs of the ceremony, as it would be a distraction and there is limited space (the ceremony is quite elaborate, involves a procession) so please don’t be quick to make assumptions about the religious and cultural convictions of others. I suppose I agree in theory with your rant about policing the behavior of other adults, but then here you are, on a tear about the choices of others… 

 

Post # 98
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee

ellep91010:  Haha I love the baby Simba anaolgy, so true!! I never gave this any thought when I got married but actually it would have bothered me to see phones instead of smiling faces when I walked in, and if on the pro-photos of me walking down the aisle there were phones instead of happy faces.

Weirdly no-one did have phones out though, I didnt see one person at the time or on the pro-photos and I actually wondered if the photographer or the minister had said something to the congregation about this before I came in.

Anyway in hindsight I’m really glad there weren’t phones, both for my experience at the time and for my pro-photos. So I would say it is worth requesting. I think via the minister/officiant would be a good way, an anouncement before the service starts and before the bride enters.

Post # 99
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

lindsayE:  Dude, I’m totally stealing the line “we wanted you to have the night off, so we hired these too” We’vre having a small intimate wedding, and the chapel is little, so there s no ‘discreet’ photo taking and our photographers are going to positioned in spots where they willl remain for the ceremony, but our ceremony is going to be short and sweet and very entertaining, so I dont think anyone will actually be thinking about their phones… or I hope atleast. hahahaha

Post # 100
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

cjfarborist:  Agree totally. Going by what a couple of PPs here have said they must get super offended when they go the cinema and can’t use their phone. Because, you know, they are an adult. Makes no sense.

I want to see my friend’s and family’s faces when I walk down the aisle, not their phones. I don’t think that makes me a special snowflake. I can’t believe an adult would have an issue with putting their phone away for 20 mins. If they do they then they need to grow up.

To a PP who said about the photographer losing the photos. That has to be VERY rare. Our’s will be backing them up during the day.

Post # 101
Hostess
8549 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

I don’t get why this is such an issue and the need for signs, in the UK, every wedding I have been to, the person leading the ceromony, Vicar or whoever just said at the start, please all turn off your phones and cameras, and when the couple sign the certificate you will have a chance to take photos – simple.

Post # 102
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

MsBeer:  In the UK too. I’ve only been to one wedding where the person leading the ceremony asked people to turn their phones off. It depends on the guests but I’ve been to some where everyone has waited until after to take a photo of the couple signing the certificate and others where cameras are poised for the moment the bride enters the room. I think asking the vicar or whoever to ask people is much better than having a sign. I don’t find them cute.

Post # 103
Hostess
8549 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

EllyAnne:  Yeah I mean possiblty the couple have asked the vicar or whoever to be the one to ask their guest to politely not take photos etc, but I still think that is more appropriate then a sign – no matter who “cute” it may be. It is such a shame it is even an issue at all, as personally I wouldn’t ever want to get in the way of the photographer, but obviously there are some people out there that would find this acceptable and thus it is an issue.

Post # 104
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I have actually never been to or seen a request in person for an “unplugged” wedding. The whole thing seems silly and like too many people are trying to be pinterest worthy. I went through my own pro pictures and no one was disrespectful – I didn’t even notice a cell phone in the air! Gasp! 

I LOVED LOVED LOOOOOVED looking through all the guest pics of the ceremony while we were on our honeymoon and while waiting for our pro pics to come back. I actually like the guest pics better than a lot of the pro pics. And honestly? Our 10-minute ceremony went so fast that I don’t really remember most of it! LOL

Post # 105
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m planning on having an unplugged ceremony as well. I work in an industry where phones and cameras are VERY frowned upon. I can’t tell you how many performances I’ve been to/in and been distracted by a flash. If you’re watching behind a screen, you’re not getting the full effect. Some people are ok living this way. I’m not! There’s a lot of nuance that you miss on that itty bitty screen.

As far as your Future Mother-In-Law goes, I would show her the picture that someone posted earlier in this thread with the couple being washed out by flashes and the sea of smartphones. Let her know that you’re paying a lot for your photographer’s services, and you want to get your money’s worth. Maybe that will help. It’s 20 minutes. They will be fine.

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