(Closed) Unreasonable prenup?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 91
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee

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dedelovely:  

I’m so sorry to hear your update. Sounds to me like you handled that as best as possible. I hurt for you both. I’m relieved to hear your strength in the face of such an affront. I’m shaking my head at him. Love and marriage (the romantic ideal kind) is out there. You can find it. Your “BF” won’t even recognize it.

Best wishes, Bee!

 

 

 

Eta: what irony, though. He got burned by the first wife. He burned himself this time. Smh. Still glad to hear you walk away from the heat.

Post # 92
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You did the right thing. You’re awesome.

Post # 93
Member
1516 posts
Bumble bee

((Hugs))  You absolutely did the right thing.  A man who truly loves you with all his heart would want to protect you and make sure you are well taken care of (literally give you the last piece of bread while he starved if you had nothing).

This man is the most selfish asshole.  Seriously, you did the right thing.  I’m sorry but someone who can be this callous and self-serving does not really love you.  Stay strong!  Even if he comes back begging for forgiveness and wanting to work things out, be very very careful because you now know how he truly feels and thinks on the inside.  You deserve a man who is much better than this!

Post # 94
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I am so sorry you are going through this. A marriage with this man would be walking on eggshells and wondering if every fight you had would lead to him sneaking off to change his will. That’s not a life. Good luck to you. 

Post # 95
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry to hear your update but at the same time it’s great to see you standing up for yourself in the face of his selfishness. I’m sure that for this guy, “crazy bitch” would be anyone who disagrees with his my way or the highway attitude. 

Post # 96
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee

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dedelovely:  I’m really sorry it came to that, but WOW! You did such a good job putting him in his place!! I want to break into a round of applause. Good for you protecting yourself!

Post # 97
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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dedelovely:  You are a wonderfully strong and principled woman, I admire you so very much.  There is a fine man out there who will appreciate, honor and respect you.  Thank you for the update, you handled a horribly demeaning situation with grace and courage.  Good riddance to that guy.  On to better things.  Wishing you all the best.  *HUGS*

Post # 98
Member
3534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Ive been following this thread hoping to see him compromise on his absolutely ridiculous prenup (and this is coming from someone who was 100% on board with signing on if FH had wanted one). i just read your update and good for you. The fact that he is so bull headed, even now, is a huge red flag. Please please stick to your guns about this. You have an entire hive behind you! 

Post # 99
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I will get a prenup before I marry.

I am the main breadwinner at the moment as my fiance has gone back to school. I can tell you without a shaddow of a doubt that if anything were ever to happen to me, I would 100% want him to be taken care of. He is the love of my life. If we cannot be together, I want him taken care of.

I am sorry it has come to this. He is selfish and while it is important to think of your interests globally before marriage, you must think as a team. He was not doing this.

Sending you strength!

Post # 100
Member
3116 posts
Sugar bee

You have done the right thing!  Well done!

Sometimes we meet someone who is outwardly charming but inside has something missing.  It could be a moral compass or a sense of empathy or generosity or logic or a sense of justice or emotion or love itself.  It can take a while to discover the missing thing because the person is either very clever at hiding it or because the situation hasn’t arisen where this lack of something becomes apparent.

What you have discovered was probably there all along.  You just hadn’t had the opportunity to see it.  This unreasonable prenup has done you a favour – it has allowed you to see your SO in his true and somewhat narcissistic light.  

The next few days, weeks and possibly months will be difficult because you an honest and moral person who has loved somebody.  You are bound to feel sick to the stomach at such duplicity. 

However, you will get over it.  

Somewhere and sometime in the future an honest, moral and loving man will meet you, fall in love with you and want to give you everything.  Indeed, he’ll be prepared to risk everything for a single glance from you.   And everytime he looks at you he won’t be able to believe his luck.

Post # 101
Member
8764 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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dedelovely:  You are so strong! I am so pleased you stood up for youself and didn’t allow him to control you. Best of luck with the future. Fingers crossed you find someone who treasures a loving relationship more than his assets!

Post # 102
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Very sorry to read your story. But good for you to try to work with him and when he wasn’t willing to, you stood up for yourself and walked away. 

Post # 103
Member
2662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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dedelovely:  What a horrid, broken man. I’m so sorry. That was a close shave! What a relief you’re out and had the sense not to sign that document. 

Wishing you the best for your next steps.

Post # 104
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

good for you.  sorry it turned out the way it did.

as the person who asked for the prenup in my relationship, I can say with no bias against prenups that what he was asking for was insanity.  It probably wouldn’t have held up in court TBH, but still the fact that he asked for it says a lot about him and what being married to him would be like. 

As PPs have said–you should always want the best for the person you’re marrying.  My prenup is as much to protect each other as it is to protect ourselves.  We made it as generous as possible, while still being fair… because in the end we want the other person to have a wonderful life, even if it somehow ends up being without us.

Post # 105
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee

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isabeelle:  Absolutely! I am so proud of you, bee! You handled this like a real pro. I have no doubt that at some point your bf will come to his senses and admit that because of his own paranoia he lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

Sending you a huge hug.

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