(Closed) Unreasonable request? Am I missing something?

posted 10 years ago in Food
Post # 4
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

Check your contract and see what it says. Then ask to have a meeting with you the catering director, the chef and your husband. If you have to include the coordinator do so. Sit down and discuss the entire meal and bring up the dessert last. Be sure to rave about what food you are planning on having for the other 4 other courses and any passed apps. Then speak to them about how long and diligently you searched for a cake maker and how much you loved the tasting you did. Mention how big your cake is and haw you are planning on serving each guest two pieces. Then mention how full they are going to be from the meal and how they will be simply stuffed by the time they get to the cake. Then say that you understand that they normally provide a dessert but how you would prefer not to stuff your guests with 2 dessert courses and perhaps they could provide a strawberry or some berries for each plate of cake instead of providing dessert. If that is not enough to sooth them, maybe they could create a cookie or something that is in the shape of your monogram or the first letter of your new last name to sit on the cake plate.

Post # 5
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

They are being ridiculous! Good grief. It sounds like they think their reputation as a hotel is riding on them serving their own dessert. Hold you ground and eventually they will have to give in. I don’t even think you have to play nicey-nice about it—be straightforward and firm. It’s your wedding, you should be able to serve whatever (hotel) food you want there.

Post # 6
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree that you should approach the catering director.

Perhaps the solution is to offer a dessert of theirs along side yours (as mentioned above — perhaps some fruit or maybe a sorbet).

What an odd situation this catering manager is presenting you with. There’s no reason to serve 2 desserts.

If that doesn’t work, let Fiance get all lawyerly. 

Post # 7
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Hahaha…sorry, this is strange.  Apparently they are proud of their food.  At least you know its really good food though, instead of some crap wedding food.  ANyway, you should be able to get what you want.  If you don’t want the dessert, you don’t have to have it.  And tell them that flat out.  That being said, I don’t think other treats will hurt.  We had cake, chocolate covered strawberries, and cheesecake lollipops.  No one complained, everyone kept eating….I think its nice to have choices and stuff.  Also, not everyone likes cake.  My husband hates cake, won’t eat it.  So the other stuff was good to have.  I mean, if you have to pay for it anyway, just serve it.  No one will complain.

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee

LOL… that’s a good point dreambml. Didn’t even think of that. More sweets the better!  

Post # 9
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks

I like kenziegirl’s suggestion – request sorbet or fruit to be served WITH the cake.  It’s nice for people who don’t like cake, (hopefully) satisfies the "must serve dessert" desire of the caterer, but won’t overshadow the cake. 

I too agree that if I were at a wedding and was served two desserts, I definitely wouldn’t complain 🙂  but I think they are being completely unreasonable and should honor your request.  If you don’t want a price discount, how hard is it to NOT do something??  I’m sort of tempted to ask them to make the most difficult and time consuming dessert and then somehow sabotage it so they can’t serve it at the last moment, but they still get to "do" their dessert.  Mwahaha.

Post # 10
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

we’re serving a plated dessert AND cake. a lot of people don’t bother with cake and my parents are all about giving our guests more food. plus it comes with our package.

perhaps they can use the money you are paying for something else? fruit like pp mentioned or a tray of chocolate covered strawberries at each table are always a welcome addition.

and I have to agree, it’s strange for her to give you such a hard time. One less item to serve is money in their pocket since you aren’t asking for a reduction in price. very weird.

Post # 11
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Seems weird to me.  You should get what you want.  But… IF they won’t budge.  Why not trying making ‘their’ dessert chocolate covered strawberries or something light like that to compliment your cake?

Post # 12
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I find that really odd. Our hotel also includes dessert in the cost per person. Once they discovered we are having cake, they offered to add another vegetable or comp some of the appetizers. I would be firm with them!

Post # 13
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I had a similar issue with my caterer.  I absolutely adored my cake and didn’t want to serve some other sweet before it.  So I asked if instead of a second plated desert could they could pass a selection of mini desserts (mini-cannoli’s, chocolate covered strawberry’s, cheesecake bites, etc) hors d’eouvre style instead.  They were hesitant at first, but agreed.  It worked out really well.  People ate the cake and then once the dancing really began our guests really enjoyed having sweets available at their fingertips.  Plus the caterer got to showcase their pastry skills in a unique way. 

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I am so glad you got so much input but as I understand it you DO NOT WANT a 2nd dessert and that is your choice.  So it doesnt matter if its fruit or strawberries or anything, if you dont want it just say no.  You are actually making it easier for the hotel and this is UNREASONABLE.  Its your wedding!

Post # 15
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

i noticed that you are getting married in new york city??  i just got married there and we had the same thing.  we had to serve a dessert and then the wedding cake.  i didn’t object since i thought people would enjoy a 2nd dessert.  plus since my cake was chocolate and vanilla, i did a fruit based dessert which gave guests some variety.  as to why they as standing firm, i don’t get it but my "chef" also had comments on my menu choices… ie.  i picked 2 tuna things and he "suggested" i change one to something else.  Also pancetta showed up 2x in my menu and he "suggested" removing one of the pancetta as not to be too heavy and duplicate.  I took all those comments in stride b/c i didn’t care but maybe its a New York thing???

Post # 16
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

i noticed that you are getting married in new york city??  i just got married there and we had the same thing.  we had to serve a dessert and then the wedding cake.  i didn’t object since i thought people would enjoy a 2nd dessert.  plus since my cake was chocolate and vanilla, i did a fruit based dessert which gave guests some variety.  as to why they as standing firm, i don’t get it but my "chef" also had comments on my menu choices… ie.  i picked 2 tuna things and he "suggested" i change one to something else.  Also pancetta showed up 2x in my menu and he "suggested" removing one of the pancetta as not to be too heavy and duplicate.  I took all those comments in stride b/c i didn’t care but maybe its a New York thing???

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