Post # 17
First of all, while I admire a good cake, my first thought is: "When are we going to get to eat this sucker? It looks so good!" Totally with you on this one.
My suggestion is to skip to the hotel manager. Sounds like the person you are dealing with just isn’t quite getting it.
Post # 18
I agree with most… I don’t think it should be such a big deal if you don’t want their dessert. Especially if you are still planning on paying full price for the menu.
But, if you can’t get anywhere with them, look on the bright side before you let it stress you out too horribly. The suggestions of fruit or sorbets would work great, especially if a guest didn’t prefer cake. Good luck!
Post # 19
"more time to admire the cake" LOL. As if that is their concern.
They clearly want to showcase their desserts (ie pastry chef) and that is not your problem. However my fiance and his family do not love sweets (crazy I know) and I suspect that they are not the only people that don’t care about having dessert. I like the fruit or sorbet idea – make your own ice cream sundaes are big right now but I have a sneaking suspicion that they’ll want you to choose from their list of signature desserts.
I’d say that I want to speak with the Catering Director and pastry chef. I’d be curious to know if they get their desserts elsewhere and that’s why they are pushing so hard for it. Pastry chefs are typically super creative so s/he’d probably do anything you want. It’s your wedding for goodness sake.
If all else fails, let your Fiance do his thing. Or, and I am so sorry for suggesting this but it was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the post, tell them that your family/his family are health nuts and they don’t believe in dessert. The cake is okay because it’s a tradition but if there’s another dessert, a lot of food will go to waste. Let them mull that over.
Post # 20
i don’t know if someone has already recommended this, but you can have a vienesse table set up with the desserts they intended to serve which would be just as good. The guests would assume you spent more money on dessert when it’s actually the one that the hotel is insisting on serving. Hope this helps!
Post # 21
Hi, thanks to everyone who wrote in with suggestions of how I should cope with the mandatory dessert but I guess what I really need are ideas to overcome this I DO NOT WANT a 2nd dessert, not berries, not sorbet not anything, it is very important to me that I serve only my cake.
It is not too rich to say that this spoils my childhood wish for my wedding. I have given in on so many things, especially those that made peoples lives easier–this just makes more work to serve a 2nd Dessert. No one is inconvenienced and just to be clear the hotel does not make cakes, they will not, I HAD TO choose one from their list of approved vendors. I did that, now they want me to choose from their list of desserts in addition. Thank you for the bee that got a laugh about the excuse of giving people a chance to admire my cake–I agree it is preposterous.
I have tried everything, asking for a cheese course, an additional appetizer, they insist on serving one of their sweets but it is not in my contract anywhere. I dont want to cross that line b/c once I do…I will prevail on this but I will lose in the end. Beyond my personal wishes, 1/3 of my guests are coming from Italy, they already think all Americans are gluttonous pigs, I have many guests that are coming from Japan, (pretty much the same sentiment but couched slightly better) But even if I had only American friends coming (and yes many are coming from Texas) I just want what I want. At this point I think I need clever (or crafty) suggestions because reason isnt cutting it. Any suggestion will be appreciated (truly ANYTHING)
Post # 22
You sound frustrated. I am sorry to hear that.
I would either a) look over your contract very carefully and review it with whoever wrote it (most likely the person giving you grief) b) write a detailed letter to corporate explaining what is happening to you (send them a copy of your contract as well) c) Request a meeting with everyone at the same time: this director, chef and catering director and openly discuss your concerns- contract in hand.
And lastly option D…. stick your fiance on them. Sometimes a little lawerly talk will help move things along.
But look. If your contract doesn’t include two desserts- throw that in their lap. It’s not about being clever, it’s about choosing your battle and being persistent. And it’s about who you voice your concern to. Go to their boss, go to their supervisor, speak with the head dude that can get things back on track for you. And if this is really going to put a riff on your day having two desserts- then don’t go with these people? Which is hard for me to say since most likely you put a deposit on the location. But seriously, why do vendors feel like imposing something on people? You are paying them, why don’t they just do what you want and they make it work to the best of their abilities?
It sounds like you are dealing with a power play. The only way you will "win" is by not doing business with them (or at least threatening it).
"…more time to admire the cake:–>*wow*< that is the silliest thing I have ever heard btw.
Post # 23
Can you ask them to donate the dessert course to a charity event? This way people experience the course but it is not at your wedding.
Post # 24
TBerry-you are so funny and brilliant! Obviously I wanted to laugh because I grew up with my mother telling me that children were starving in India. I just might ask, any suggestions of a charity that needs a dessert?
Post # 25
Find out if there is a school in the area that could use the dessert for an event! I teach high school and if I was told that we would be getting dessert donated to us for a few hundred kids I would FIND a way to create an event for it!
You need to stick to your guns, get your "lawyerly" talking Fiance involved, and bring a copy of your contract with highlighted points. Have a talk with all parties involved and don’t leave until you get your way!!!
Post # 26
since they are being so ridiculous about this, i think you can be equally ridiculous with them and tell them something preposterous, like your guestlist is filled with sugar-crazed diabetics with no self-control so if you present them with too many desserts, they will go nuts and put their health at risk.
the donation idea is a great one too (and a little less immature…hehe). there are plenty of soup kitchens and shelters in nyc that would welcome the donation!
Post # 27
i just don’t understand. this is YOUR wedding, right? have you tried just saying, "no, we will only have one desert – our cake. end of discussion." and if they try to come back with another LAME reason why they need to serve their desert, just say no again. no. no. no. i know that takes *ahem* balls, but maybe you just have to give them a definite and FIRM no, without any explanation and without listening to their whining. i’m a substitute teacher, so im used to doing this, and it works – at least with elementary school kids (and those caterers sound a lot like the kids i teach!)
if that’s not your thing, i do like the charity idea. i’m not sure if they’ll go for it, but it sounds like a lovely idea!
Post # 28
I have planned lots of special events and dealt with hotel caterers. They are mostly self-fulfilling which explains your situation some. However, the catering manager needs to be reminded that the customers wishes are always the most important, and most importantly RIGHT. I agree with a previous post that what they are wanting to do is so show off their pastry chef and a hotel creation. You just have to be FIRM and say — no thanks on your dessert we are having cake.
Post # 29
I work for a hotel events department and what you have just said about the catering/hotel company is crazy. The fact that they are insisting that they serve their dessert before your cake is the most asinine thing I have ever heard. Insist on a 1st course, 2nd course, possible intermezzo, entree and then your Cake for dessert. End of story. If they can’t accommodate your request they don’t know what customer service is about. If it is a cost issue on their part then ask them to upgrade the other courses to better, unusual, expensive items to meet what I am guessing is a F&B minimum.
Good Luck! I would love to hear the outcome on this one.
Post # 30
I am dying to hear the outcome myself! It is definitely not a cost issue b/c I pay whether I serve it or not, which is why they are driving me batty!
Tomorrow (I guess) I sic my Lawyer/Fiancee on them. I just didnt want to end up in a mexican standoff–and yet I feel like I AM AN ADULT, why do I have to even HAAAAVE this conversation!
Post # 31
ju1244– Hilarious… This is going to be the best lil showdown. Vendor versus Bride. Bride versus Vendor… Now Groom versus Vendor…
Please keep us posted! And I will keep my fingers crossed for you!