my father and Father-In-Law had nothing to say really, so they were all my mum and Mother-In-Law.
1. Generously decided she and Father-In-Law would be paying for the alcohol. This was pretty late in the game so we’d already planned the bar menu and numbers. She decides instead of beer and wine and two signature (bourbon) cocktails it would just be beer and wine. We let her know that we’d bring the bourbon and cocktail stuff, but she tried demanding cut it altogether. My parents are allergic to beer and wine (which she was/is well aware). Aside from the fact they’re my parents, they’re also paying for the wedding basically (minus, now, the beer and wine) so yeah.. I wanted them to have a drink option. This was a whole meltdown, but in the end we did of course still bring the cocktail supplies to our wedding and serve cocktails to guests who preferred that to beer and wine.
2. Generously she also let us know she’d be hosting the rehearsal dinner. She wanted to make hors d’ouvre herself, and serve them on her yacht. The guest list was quite small because our bridal party was just the best man and Maid/Matron of Honor, and neither opted to bring a date to the wedding: so aside from them it was just family. Even so, she put a lot of pressure on me to exclude members of my family to keep numbers in the single digits. I appreciate that making hors d’ouvre for 16 people is a lot of work, but excluding my family (who flew very far to be there) wasn’t really an option. I did exclude some people I would have included if we’d hosted, for her sake, but then after the wedding she gave me shit for excluding them saying I should have invited them cus she likes them so much more than my actual family. Can’t win.
3. She told me about 2 weeks before the wedding that her BFF from California would be flying in to the wedding and I couldn’t say no because she already booked the flight business class (I guess the fact she spent more meant I really couldn’t say no? I don’t really know why but she put a lot of emphasis on the business class.) This one we actually caved on–we were lucky that the photographer had been seated at the tables so we just booted him from the arrangement so we had an empty spot, rearranged all the tables, re-printed the seating chart, and I ran around town finding the stationary I’d used to make escort cards… which of course was out at all the local paper sources, but that wasn’t really anyone’s fault, just bad luck. Ended up finding it out of town.
1. Let me know about 3 weeks before the wedding my cousins sons were super excited to be ring bearers. Only problem: we’d never asked them to be ring bearers. Apparently my mom and aunt had told them they would be and got them really hyped up and my cousin didn’t think it was strange I hadn’t mentioned it at all I guess. We caved on this one cus kids clothing is super easy so I just contacted my cousin and ask they wear a shirt and bowtie I’d bought for them that would go a bit better than the periwinkle blue shirts she had (since no one in the wedding party was wearing any color).
2. At the rehearsal, less than 24 hours before the wedding, my mom stops mid-rehearsal (like, she is supposed to be walking down the aisle with my brother and she just stops cold) and starts yelling that my aunt and uncle should be in the wedding and they feel excluded. It was like a 2 year old had taken over her body and felt the best way to communicate this was to start by making a huge scene. I pulled her aside and told her she was stressing me out and this had been planned way way way in advance and with less than 24hrs to go I really didn’t want to change big things, and it was really not normal for an aunt and uncle to walk down the aisle with the procession anyway… she let it go, but yeah, that was kind of insane.
Oh, and 3. My mom & dad called me during my first look photos to ask for directions to the venue. Not unreasonable, just dumb–the instructions are available on the invite AND online.. and maybe i’m a little busy an hour before the ceremony? But I told them.. they called back a few more times for who knows what so my photographer confiscated my phone like I was in high school english class, lol!
But, yeah that was mostly it actually. So.. not so bad? I don’t know if all of these were all actually ‘unreasonable’ in their nature, but they all had an unreasonable element to them… either the expectation I’d say “ah fuck them” towards my family and or how and when they communicated their ‘requests’…