Unreasonable requests – family edition

posted 1 year ago in Beehive
Post # 32
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Got another one –

One of my cousins asked if her 3 year old could have the $120 adult meal because you know, she likes filet mignon more than chicken nuggets…

And at the end of the day due to drama with my aunts not speaking to each other, that cousin and her husband and kid did NOT show up. So we only had to trash 2 adult meals and one child, can you imagine if we bought that kid a filet?!

Post # 36
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

alfalfasprout10518 :  Right? I’m getting pushback about destination weddings. The fact that I’m not having one. 

Post # 37
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

alfalfasprout10518 :  why couldn’t we have cocktails?  It’s actually really common for Mother-In-Law to try and get me to do/say things that would subtly “diss” my family, and she’ll make digs at them and try to get me to agree with her (as in “you must think they’re so stupid for that!”.. it’s not subtle) so I think this was just one of the earliest manifestations of that, in retrospect.  She had never met them at that point, so it didn’t occur to me she could hate them without knowing them.. but she’s only met them 4x since so I don’t really think its about them anyway, more the concept of them.

Why did my mom want my aunt and uncle in the wedding?  No clue.  In general my mom doesn’t really get that you can’t just.. make shit up.  E.g. A few years ago I was interviewing at two Universities and one research center, any of which I would’ve been very happy to work for.  I was just updating her on how the interviews were going (its multiple rounds at each) and she demanded (to me) that they just make a split position so I could work for all three: never mind the fact that really I’d be damn lucky to get ONE offer and um.. no one does that.

Post # 38
18 posts
  • Wedding: November 2018

After finding out we are not doing portraits at all and only candids from our photographer my mother-in-law says “oh…well ok but I would like to take some time to take a family photo. Obviously that needs to happen”

We have 4 people in our wedding parties who are vegetarian and in all seriousness, my dad says “you can’t cater to everyone, why wouldn’t you do a beef and a pork option” because he doesn’t like vegetables.


Post # 41
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

My ex-father in law called ex-h when we were wedding planning and announced that he was sending us on a honeymoon and would send us an email from his travel agent with a list of places we could choose from. YAHOO! Location selected & trip booked. Thank you FFIL! He then informed us that we owed him $3K for our half of the booking and to send him the money right away (he was well off, so I highly doubt he found himself suddenlt short on cash). Spineless ex didnt question him and we took $3K out of our wedding budget the pay him. Ugh. So glad I dont have to deal with that man anymore!

alfalfasprout10518 :  I think you could totally get the shuttle to go to the other hotels! I would just ask them to do a loop and tell your guests that. So say its a 20 min round trip from venue to hotel 1. I “shuttle will stop at hotel 1 every 30 mins, then will stop at hotel 2 & 3 before returning to the venue.” that way you dont have to figure out who is staying where. I would announce it at the ceremony and again at the reception.

Also, we did a big family picture for my first wedding and I was so happy I did it. I just included a card in the invite asking them to join us at a certain time & location for a photo.

Post # 42
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

jackjackattck :  Ha! I had the same the thing but with a five year-old and we were serving filet and shrimp. So–a $40 kid plate vs a $180 + open bar charge as all adult meals factored into the bar charges. It’s been years and years and my friend is still mad I wouldn’t let her daughter have an adult meal. 

Post # 43
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My top one (shared here before) from Future Mother-In-Law is “so-and-so doesn’t drink, can you make sure the venue has alcohol free beer”. This person is not a relative and we had already got plenty of alcohol free drinks options. Anyway, the do have alcohol free beer. Jusy have to hope it’s the right brand because apparently there’s on he dislikes. Future Mother-In-Law is pretty chilled but I waa still surprised that this warranted a phone call. 

Post # 44
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

These are demands. My mum doesnt do requests. And I have given in on all counts. I have plenty more but it’s pushing midnight in the UK and I’m off to bed.


Weather being well I am driving from where I am getting ready to the church, 5 minutes. If it rains we’ll drive. Easy.

My mother “I’m the MOB, I can’t possibly walk”

Me “it would be nice to walk together but feel free to drive”

Mother “I can’t drive myself, I need to be chauffeured”

She’s booked herself a chauffeured car. Even between the church and the reception we aren’t doing that. Just going with a friend.


Mother “I want to drink rose wine”. Not a huge problem but our package includes red and white and I didn’t think it appropriate to offer her something not on offer to all our guests. We have done wine pairing with the food too so it’s been well thought out. She called our venue, behind our back, to make the change. She doesn’t even drink more than half a glass and now we’ve got one random bottle of no use to anyone else.


Mother “We can’t have the rehearsal dinner at that restaurant because it’s too far and I don’t want to drive, we’re having the dinner at my house without Fiance and his family. I don’t think you should spend any time together the evening before you get married, it’s bad luck”

Post # 45
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Forest Grove, OR

Not necessarily requests, more like trying to plan my wedding for me. All from Mother-In-Law:

”I wish you hadn’t changed your wedding colors, I already bought a dress in pink” – I’m not getting married for a year, am allowed to change my mind prior to dress shopping with bridesmaids, and you’re not IN the wedding. 

“I’ll help with the centerpieces, I want to do farmers market flowers but you won’t see them until the day of” – was offended when I said I didn’t want to be surprised with my own decor. 

(When I said I have a budget of $10k which is already a small budget) “nooo.. you don’t need all that. This is your 2nd wedding”. – I’m paying for my own wedding. 

“You need to have your wedding earlier in the day so people aren’t bored beforehand” – we are getting married 45 min from our home and people are showing up right before the ceremony, which is 4pm. 

“Ew, baby’s breath? No, you need at least a few roses in each bouquet” – again, I AM PAYING FOR THIS. 

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