(Closed) Unreliable friend wanting to help with hen do and wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Thank her for everything and tell her that you know how much work it is and that you know her busy schedule.. that’s all i got D: sorry

Post # 5
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We also had a very long engagement, and when asked we simply said “We are just taking this time to enjoy being engaged and not making any firm plans.”  If she presses, tell her you appreciate her enthusiasm, but you’d rather not set any plans or parties or roles at this time. 

You could also give her a less important task in case she flakes out.  Ask her to co-host something when the time comes, or invite her over to help assemble favors or whatever… something that won’t go disastrously awry if she drops the ball.

Post # 6
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had an unreliable friend also insist that she wanted to organize my hen do.  Except, she started planning an event that centered around strippers.  Totally NOT what I wanted or felt comfortable with.  After I asked her to change the direction of the party (she said she would, but didn’t), I talked to another friend and asked her to get involved and direct the party back towards something I would want to attend.  She did great.  I brought it up to friend A as “friend B has graciously offered to help and I know you’re busy”.  After friend A had another person helping, she let go of the stripper idea because it would require her to do work to put together the party, whereas she could do nothing while friend B put together a different party and friend A still got some credit for ‘helping’.  I know who really planned the party, but I know For friend A it was all about wanting to be recognized.

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