(Closed) Unresponsive bridal party…long vent but I need advice

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just want to say that you are not alone!  I don’t have any suggestions, as I’m in the same boat, and nothing has helped.  I only have 3 BMs, and one has been really great (and she’s due with her 1st baby next week, so she has plenty reason not to be but is anyway), but the other 2 are non-existant.  One doesn’t work, or go to school, or do ANYTHING really, but I haven’t heard a single word from her since I asked her to stand up for me (it’s my Fiance sister).  And the other one’s being an uber-bitch, not answering any emails/texts, and then crying because she feels like she’s “not involved.”  Who needs it, right?! 

The only thing that I could really suggest would be to actually call them I guess (but I personally hate talking on the phone, so I understand why you haven’t!).  Other than that, I dunno…  =(     Misery loves company though, so I just wanted to let you know I was out there with ya!  ;D

Post # 4
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I know its a pain but since they are not very responsive, I would call each one individually.  That is the only idea I have. I would also feel hurt that they are not more interested since you are being to considerate with everyone.

Post # 5
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with pp. Try calling them invidividually. Mine weren’t as responsive to emails as I would have liked either.. they might think the emails are just for info and they don’t need to respond.

Post # 6
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, the length of your messages may contribute to lack of response. I know when I get a really long email or FB message, I often don’t have time for it at the moment, then forget to go back to it for a while. Try more short and sweet messages and you may get quicker responses!

Post # 7
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would call each individually and if they still seem to be unresponsive maybe just scrap having a bridal party? The earlier you do that the better to(If you decide to do that) It seems to me that a lot of people on here are way stressed from their bridal parties and who needs that when planning a wedding? NO ONE! Good luck, I hope they start being more responsive to you.

Post # 8
59 posts
Worker bee

I don’t want this to sound unkind, but few people are going to read all of that text. Just as with business emails, these need to be succinct, with action items clearly stated and highlighted, with deadlines.  Also, I would not include more than two or three action items per email.

For Instance, I think that the first few paragraphs could be much more succinct such as:

1.              Dresses and Accessories

The Victoria Secret dresses will go on sale in July, and I will continue to look for discounts in the meantime. Please purchase your dress by X date. We will discuss shoes and accessories at our get together to take place in X month. Thank you.

2.             Next Meeting Date

Please send your availability for a two hour meeting to discuss accessories, and other planning issues. If you can not join in person, we can arrange skype participation. Of the suggested times, please send your availability by X date. Thank you.

April 9, 2011 2-6pm EST, April 10, 2011 1-5pm EST April 11, 2011, 6pm-8pm EST

Just a suggestion. Less daunting emails may yield more responsiveness. Good luck!

Post # 9
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would call them individually. I know being a maid of honor for my cousin, I feel like it’s more personal when she calls me than when I recieve the e-mail updates. I feel more inclined to message her back when her messages sound less business like and more about having a fun girls day. she’s great at making things sound really fun, so all of us girls get excited and we are all there ready to celebrate with her or go shopping, whatever it may be for the day.

Post # 10
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Completely agree with @Fies: long messages scare bridesmaids off! The bulleted/numbered list suggestion with deadlines is a great idea – this is what I did as well. Individual phone follow-ups may be necessary for certain BMs. 

Also, I hadn’t heard of Bridesmaid or Best Man planning get-togethers before. Maybe it’s just because my BMs were spread out all over the world, but the only time they got together was the shower and bachelorette party! Everything else was done through group emails and talking to them one on one. Unless your BMs are a group of friends who already get together to hang out, attending Bridesmaid or Best Man meetings might be more effort than they want to make. I don’t know your girls, so it’s just a thought. 

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