Unsanitary cook

posted 7 months ago in Wellness
Post # 2
1452 posts
Bumble bee

Tell him that his unsanitary practices could kill you, your unborn child and anyone else that eats his food. What else is there to say? 

Post # 3
640 posts
Busy bee

It’s annoying that he freaks out when you tell him in the moment. Have you tried also telling him how to do it correctly instead of just saying “don’t do that”? Try looking up some food safety videos on YouTube. Try to find some specific to the things he’s doing and tell him to watch them and take stock. FH works in a restaurant and took a food safety course and the way we handle and store food at home is much safer for sure. 

Post # 4
3301 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d start cooking for yourself. He can be as gross as he wants with his food, but if he’s cooking food he expects you to eat, he’ll have to keep it clean. If he won’t, tell him you’ll each be responsible for your own meals until he can cook in a sanitary way. 

Post # 5
361 posts
Helper bee

Instead of you getting on him, could you find an excuse to find up for some food cooking classes that include handling meat/food safely? Maybe if you’re doing it as a fun bonding activity and an instructor tells him, “Yikes, you need to wash your hands” it’ll be less hurtful than if you say it? You could even tell him, “I want us to both learn some great meals to cook for when we’re parents!” to lower his guard when you sign up!

Post # 7
1452 posts
Bumble bee

Ok…this is not a matter akin to overcooking pasta where a cooking class will show him the proper technique. He could quite literally kill people by contaminating the food he prepares for himself and others.

Have you ever had an upset stomach but assumed it was just nothing major? Chances are you’ve been poisened by him. There’s a reason they tell pregnant women to not eat raw or undercooked foods. 

He needs to grow the hell up. You need to start lysoling your kitchen and utensils and making your own food.

Post # 8
161 posts
Blushing bee

jrh003 :  Did his mother teach him to cook like this? My husband’s mother never cooked real food for him. Everything was from a can or box. When we got married I would pick up raw ingredients and whenever he’d cook he had 100 questions and was really nervous about handling raw meat and vegetables. We even had to have the conversation about washing hands and avoiding cross-contamination. He’s a pro now. Maybe find some videos on YouTube about hygiene in the kitchen.

Post # 9
618 posts
Busy bee

If he’s the type to freak out at you for having a very reasonable suggestion, I’d be additionally worried about that aspect of your relationship. I think you should do some couples counselling before baby comes. Being able to accept feedback without losing it is a pretty fundamental part of a relationship and if he’s lacking there I’d be very nervous about parenting with him. 

Post # 10
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

What a brat. This isn’t something to consider his wittle fweelings about, this is something that can seriously harm people. 

I’d make all my own food and not use anything that cannot be washed. And I’d make a big show of coming behind him to sanitize the kitchen, even shit he didn’t touch, just to make the point. If he threw a fit he could go sit in the corner like the toddler he apparently is. 

Post # 11
4264 posts
Honey bee

Cooking classes.  There are ones for very beginners that go over food safety, too.  There are also food safety classes.

Both of you should go.

In the meantime cook your own food.  If your cooking skills are minimal, then that’s on you to correct and become self-sufficient.  You don’t have to eat his cooking.  Cereal exists.  And all the more reason to take classes.

Post # 12
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

jrh003 :  this is so gross. 

Post # 13
9470 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would try talking to him about it when he’s not in the middle of cooking. Emphasize the dangers for you and the baby.

Honestly, it’s concerning that this is an issue not easily resolved. Does he often freak out when met with criticism or corrected on how to do something? Because that sounds really frustrating and exhausting to deal with. I will second the advice from above to do some couple’s counseling before the baby comes. Because along with learning some basic food safety, he also needs to learn how to listen and accept criticism without freaking out.

Post # 14
97 posts
Worker bee

I would write down kitchen rules and put them somewhere that’s constantly visible. 

Post # 15
708 posts
Busy bee


I threw up a little just reading this post!

I can’t believe he is wiping his hands on his pants and then expecting you to eat the food.

In some kind of solace, if the food is cooked REALLY well and pretty much charred to death, you might be okay but that is a BIG risk to take.

Just don’t eat it. You are doing this for the baby.

Order out, have your mom cook and freeze a bunch of meals for you, or cook by yourself. I know the whole point of being pregnant and sharing responsibilities is to have him do the cooking some of the time but that’s something you cannot risk your baby’s life over.

If he doesn’t sort his sh*t out now, then he will learn the hard way when the baby falls extremely ill. No parent should have to witness avoidable incidents like that.

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