Post # 1
I attended an alumni event last night, which took place at a baseball game in a catered skybox. I’m usually a nosebleed section and $2 beer kind of girl, so I was excited for this new experience with fellow alumni. I took a friend, who also went to the same school, along with me. We mingled with different people who were all polite and kind with the exception of this one guy who latched onto us, and quite frankly, was pretty dang annoying. He did nothing but brag about how he owns a penthouse condo in downtown and works in real estate acquisition and blah blah ok cool story bro. He said he was happy they’re tearing down a beloved historic district to build high rise condos (a very sore subject among city natives, which he is not).
At the end of the game, he offered to walk my friend home since they discovered they live just one block frome each other, and my “friend flags” went up. I didnt necessarily get creeper vibes from him, but we had just met the guy. I offered to give them both a ride, and long story short, they said only if we went for a night cap, and I reluctantly said ok. So we went for drinks, and the entire time this guy was low key–and sometimes not so low key–condescending, making fun of me for living in the suburbs (the first time was kinda cute, by the 3rd, 4th time it just got old), borderline interrogating me on my line of work in a way that came off as super abrasive, and last but not least, telling me my major in college was nowhere near as challenging as his or my friend’s was (oh Lord, seriously?) My friend is more reserved and almost polite to a fault, so she just sat there silently, and at times even giggled at some of the stuff he was saying. I definitely don’t fault her for it since it’s not her place to stick up for me, but it just didn’t feel good. I finally stood up for myself in a way that was polite, but the night definitely ended with me feeling like complete crap. I even stopped and picked up a slice of pizza at midnight on the way home (not good!) I truly wish I had just dropped them off and left. And the more I’ve sat with it since last night, the more it doesn’t sit well with me.
I feel like I do fairly well for myself. I pay all my own bills. I go out. I shop. I travel. Maybe I don’t own a high rise condo in the heart of downtown, but I rent my own place in an adorable suburb close to my family, best friends, and boyfriend, not to mention lots of nature trails. Maybe I didn’t study anything in a science-related field, but I built my own small business from the ground up and absolutely love and am so proud of what I do. Hell, even if I were a janitor sleeping in a cot in the back of a restaurant, why the hell would that even matter?! I hate feeling like I have to defend my life when someone somehow determines I don’t live up to their arbitrary standards. I’m not sure what my question is. Maybe this is just more of a rant. Or maybe just looking for general thoughts. Either way, I’m gonna go to the gym and channel all this negative energy! Today is a new day, and it’s a beautiful one!
Post # 2
He knows he’s a douchebag and he tries to distract people from that with a lot of shiny things that mean nothing. Don’t waste one more second thinking about him, he is not deserving.
Post # 3
There’s always people like that with something lacking in their lives so they have to make you feel like yours isn’t good enough. You know what? Forget about it, Mr lives in a condo in the centre of town must be incredibly insecure, and I always think that if their lives are so bad they have to belittle someone’s lifestyle to make them feel good then I’ll let them because in the end I’m happy and they are not
Post # 4
caligirl3 : out of all the things you said, the things you outlined in your last paragraph is all that matters. You sound truly happy, and that’s so much more than that asswipe can say for himself. And if it makes you feel any better, usually people who brag about what they do and how much money they make are actually 100% insecure and use their profession/money as a tool to impress other people. They live for the “wow” reaction they get from others when they talk about their accomplishments. But it is all a bandaid to cover the wounds of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.
Secure, happy people don’t shit on other people’s lifestyles.
Post # 5
Sounds like he was trying to overcompensate for something. I’ve found that people who brag about themselves like that are seriously lacking in other areas. He probably hates his job, has a mountain of debt, and spends his life alone.
Post # 6
That guy is an insecure loser who needs to put others down to bring himself up. Laugh it off. You have a wonderful life. Him? He went alone to an alumni event and made an ass of himself. Who’s winning?
Post # 7
caligirl3 : Well it kind of IS your friend’s place to stand up for you. Was he being a jackass to her too? He might be your run of the mill arrogant douche or he could be a MRA guy who was deliberately “negging” you to make himself feel studlier. Either way, do not let him win by feeling bad about yourself. Look at it this way: people feel good when they’re around you, right? Yet spending time with HIM, even in a fun luxe environment, was miserable. So which of you is a valuable member of society and which is a waste of space?
Post # 8
He sounds like one of this d-bags who likes to neg as a form of flirting (those are really nice glasses – you know a lot girls with big noses would be afraid to wear glasses like those…). Or he is just straight up d-bag who overcompensates and can only feel good about himself by putting others down. If anything, it is pitiful to be that insecure and lacking social graces or insight.
He’s not worth another minute of your time or energy. Let it go.
Post # 9
He sounds high on the narcissism spectrum. In an effort to boost his own self esteem, and impress your friend, he triangulated the two of you and put you down.
He’s toxic, and all his posturing is 100% about his own lack of self-love and 0% about anything having to do with you.
Be thankful you aren’t so unhealthy, and continue on in your lovely, happy life, surrounded by authentic friendships with genuine connection.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY
caligirl3 : As others have said, penthouse-condo-dude is a loser and I hope that’s the last you and your friend see of him. I once became friends with a girl whose entire circle was comprised of people just like that. It was a never-ending pissing contest about who had more wealth – the bigger boat, the newest luxury car, the $20,000 espresso maker… Mind you, half of them were drowning in debt (my friend included) but kept digging themselves in deeper to keep up with appearances. I distanced myself from her because I couldn’t take the snobbery. I like nice things too, but I live within my means and it sounds like you do as well and have a lot to be proud of. Don’t let that jackass make you question your self worth! It’s clear that he’s the one who lacks it.
Post # 11
You did a really good thing and should feel proud of yourself! Your friend probably didn’t know how to get rid of this pest and it would have been so awkward for her if you’d gone home and left her to deal with him. If I was in her shoes I’d be massively grateful!!!
Post # 12
People like this, regardless of how successful they may be, are usually clueless. He was probably trying to impress or tease you and doesn’t realize how he comes across. Next time don’t let yourself become monopolized and don’t go anywhere with an annoying person you just met.
Most of all, remind yourself it’s nothing to do with you or your life. There are always going to be people who have more and less than you. Money doesn’t buy class or good taste.