Unsettled after alumni event

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
6761 posts
Busy Beekeeper

He knows he’s a douchebag and he tries to distract people from that with a lot of shiny things that mean nothing. Don’t waste one more second thinking about him, he is not deserving. 

Post # 3
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

There’s always people like that with something lacking in their lives so they have to make you feel like yours isn’t good enough. You know what? Forget about it, Mr lives in a condo in the centre of town must be incredibly insecure, and I always think that if their lives are so bad they have to belittle someone’s lifestyle to make them feel good then I’ll let them because in the end I’m happy and they are not

Post # 4
Member
2307 posts
Buzzing bee

caligirl3 :  out of all the things you said, the things you outlined in your last paragraph is all that matters. You sound truly happy, and that’s so much more than that asswipe can say for himself. And if it makes you feel any better, usually people who brag about what they do and how much money they make are actually 100% insecure and use their profession/money as a tool to impress other people. They live for the “wow” reaction they get from others when they talk about their accomplishments. But it is all a bandaid to cover the wounds of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.

 

Secure, happy people don’t shit on other people’s lifestyles.

Post # 5
Member
816 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like he was trying to overcompensate for something. I’ve found that people who brag about themselves like that are seriously lacking in other areas. He probably hates his job, has a mountain of debt, and spends his life alone.

Post # 6
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Canada

That guy is an insecure loser who needs to put others down to bring himself up.  Laugh it off.  You have a wonderful life.  Him?  He went alone to an alumni event and made an ass of himself.  Who’s winning?

Post # 7
Member
8863 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

caligirl3 :  Well it kind of IS your friend’s place to stand up for you. Was he being a jackass to her too? He might be your run of the mill arrogant douche or he could be a MRA guy who was deliberately “negging” you to make himself feel studlier. Either way, do not let him win by feeling bad about yourself. Look at it this way: people feel good when they’re around you, right? Yet spending time with HIM, even in a fun luxe environment, was miserable. So which of you is a valuable member of society and which is a waste of space? 

Post # 8
Member
4568 posts
Honey bee

He sounds like one of this d-bags who likes to neg as a form of flirting (those are really nice glasses – you know a lot girls with big noses would be afraid to wear glasses like those…).  Or he is just straight up d-bag who overcompensates and can only feel good about himself by putting others down.  If anything, it is pitiful to be that insecure and lacking social graces or insight.

He’s not worth another minute of your time or energy.  Let it go.  

Post # 9
Member
2486 posts
Buzzing bee

He sounds high on the narcissism spectrum. In an effort to boost his own self esteem, and impress your friend, he triangulated the two of you and put you down. 

He’s toxic, and all his posturing is 100% about his own lack of self-love and 0% about anything having to do with you. 

Be thankful you aren’t so unhealthy, and continue on in your lovely, happy life, surrounded by authentic friendships with genuine connection.

Post # 10
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

caligirl3 :  As others have said, penthouse-condo-dude is a loser and I hope that’s the last you and your friend see of him. I once became friends with a girl whose entire circle was comprised of people just like that. It was a never-ending pissing contest about who had more wealth – the bigger boat, the newest luxury car, the $20,000 espresso maker… Mind you, half of them were drowning in debt (my friend included) but kept digging themselves in deeper to keep up with appearances. I distanced myself from her because I couldn’t take the snobbery. I like nice things too, but I live within my means and it sounds like you do as well and have a lot to be proud of. Don’t let that jackass make you question your self worth! It’s clear that he’s the one who lacks it. 

Post # 11
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You did a really good thing and should feel proud of yourself! Your friend probably didn’t know how to get rid of this pest and it would have been so awkward for her if you’d gone home and left her to deal with him. If I was in her shoes I’d be massively grateful!!!

Post # 12
Member
12211 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

People like this, regardless of how successful they may be, are usually clueless. He was probably trying to impress or tease you and doesn’t realize how he comes across. Next time don’t let yourself become monopolized and don’t go anywhere with an annoying person you just met. 

Most of all, remind yourself it’s nothing to do with you or your life. There are always going to be people who have more and less than you. Money doesn’t buy class or good taste.

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