(Closed) Unsoliciated Help Offered …

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would say.. Hey I really appreciate your offer.. We will definately keep you in mind if anything is needed. You could also tell him that you are tgoing to check out a DJ one of your friends recommended who had used them for their wedding.


Post # 4
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@Stace126:Just tell him that you most certainly appreciate his offer but at this time your just not ready/prepared to make a DJ decision just yet. Make it sound like you have all the time in the world and haven’t even really begun to think about it. Or if you feel bad doing that ask for his help in some other area of wedding planning. Tell him you need help finding a florist or a great caterer and ask him to give you some suggestions. Give him something else to concentrate on rather than his own services.

Post # 5
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d go with what PPs said — just say that you haven’t really gotten to that point in planning quite yet and you’ll keep him in mind when the time comes.

Post # 6
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Stace126: I’d be upfront with him that you do not want his services otherwise he will keep badgering you. Say that you appreciate his offer and his business but you are looking elsewhere. Period. You do not owe him an explanation, but if you feel it necessary to explain further, say that it is due to budget and musical taste. If you want to explain even further, you cannot compensate him the cost for his service he mentioned in conversation before, and say that your specific taste in music is not among his collection. If you explain too much though, that may leave the door open for him to negotiate, so be very clear with him if you’re willing to give him a shot or close the door completely.

If you are willing to give him a shot, you need to put it to him straight. Unless he is willing to: a) consult with you on your style of music and conform to it for your event and b) come down in price to meet your budget, you will continue to search elsewhere. If he is a good businessman, he will consult with you and match your needs. You would not be obligated to invite his wife to the wedding. At that point, he would be hired for his services as a vendor.

This is a business proposition he is offering you, so treat it like business and don’t get caught up in trying to be too nice. Sure, be polite, but don’t feel like you have to bend over backwards to meet the needs of a prospective vendor instead of your own needs for your wedding day.

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