(Closed) Unsolicited advice wanted

posted 9 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok I’ll try..

Waiting bees: Enjoy your man and don’t pressure him into marriage, if he’s not ready the pressure will only push him away.

Engaged bees: It’s YOUR wedding (yours and your FI’s) keep in mind his wants and needs and involve him in the process even if it looks like he doesn’t give a damn. Try to have a wedding that reflects both of you.

Married bees: Just cause you’re on the other side doesn’t mean it’s going to be a smooth ride from now on, it’s time to work harder in the relationship and communication cause failure’s not an option.

Post # 4
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father\'s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

Waiting bees: If you are waiting, there is a reason that you feel he is worth waiting for…remember that.

Engaged bees: Try to enjoy being engaged, the time flies and the wedding has come and gone before you know it!

Married Bees: Remember that it’s not supposed to be a miraculous happily ever after, marriages take work. Take delight in the things about each that make you crazy in love instead of focusing on the things that drive you crazy.

Post # 5
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Waiting Bees:  You can’t change or “fix” someone. Make sure the person you are waiting to marry is someone who will be your partner for life, not someone who will be your project for life.

Engaged Bees:  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Enjoy your planning but remember to relax and breathe.  Every detail doesn’t have to be perfect and precise.  You get to marry your best friend!

Married Bees: Remember to laugh everyday and it’s okay to go to bed mad.  And when you are tired and your DH starts coming on to you and all you want to do is go to sleep.. give it 2 minutes and if after 2 minutes you still want to sleep then okay!  My bet is you won’t say no very often then! Best advice I got before I got married.  Just give it 2 minutes! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Waiting:  don’t stress out that it’s not happening.  If it’s meant to be, it will happen.  Just be patient and enjoy TODAY for what it is without worrying about the what if’s of tomorrow.  Don’t stay in a relationship because you want to get married.  Stay in a relationship because that person is right for you.

Engaged:  don’t let other people’s ‘good’ intentions stress you out.  Focus on what’s right for you, your Fiance, and your collective friends and families.  Do some thinking about what the most important elements are for you and Fiance and focus on that.  Everything else is secondary.   

Married:  Never take your DH for granted.  It’s easy to do when everyday life sweeps in.  Remember what you loved about him to marry him in the first place.  It’s hard to be grumpy and selfish when you are truely grateful.

Post # 8
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Waiting: be honest about your expectations from the beginning. Make sure that you want to be married to this person not just “for love” but for the great partner that he is and will be through life

Engaged: don’t make your life miserable thinking about the details: at the end of the day, what is important is the marriage. Don’t give details to people if you don’t want unsollicited advice

Married: have regular date nights, spend some quality time together, be a team when it comes to chores

Post # 10
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Waiting bees: You wouldn’t want to feel pressured by your SO to do something you weren’t ready to do, try to take his feeling into consideration too (easier said than done) ๐Ÿ™‚

Engaged bees: Even if everything isn’t perfect, the day will be.  Linen mishaps, crazy families, lighting… it all takes a back seat to the happiness of the day once it’s actually there so don’t worry too much about the details.

Married Bees: simple manners (P’s and Q’s) go a long way. Make each other feel appreciated as much as possible!

Post # 11
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@jalaamarie: love the 2 minute rule!


Waiting bees: This time period in your life is short. Let him know that you’re ready then chill out. He’ll do it when he’s ready and obsessing about marriage is not going to make it happen any sooner. 

Engaged bees: As long as you end up married, your wedding was a success. Nothing else matters, really. 

Married bees: If you don’t like something about your mate, consider changing something about yourself. I find that a lot of times if I don’t like my husband’s behavior the best way to combat it is to change what I am doing. Example: If I feel he is being snippy to me, I examine whether I’ve been snippy with him. Sometimes just being extra nice gets you what you want faster than bitching at him about it. 

Post # 12
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Waiting bees: Don’t try to micro manage every single detail of your proposal, snoop, plan, scheme, and then be upset when it isn’t a surprise.

Engaged bees: No one but you is going to remember the things you’re having a heart attack over now.

Married Bees: Make the effort every day to say “Thank you” for every little thing you both do for each other and don’t go to bed angry!

Post # 13
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Waiting bees: Don’t forget that it’s your future too! Speak up when you need to to let your guy know when you’re ready. it might not be romantic to talk through it all, but it might speed things along or at least let you know where your guy is at in the process.

Engaged bees: Don’t stress out too much, your wedding is going to be great if you go into it with a great attitude. It sounds cliche, but people pick up and react to your mood when you’re the bride. Be happy and those around you will celebrate with you. 

Married bees: Make him do the dishes if you cook. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 15
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Great idea for a thread!

Waiting bees: Be open and honest with your expectations. Don’t expect him to be a mind reader.

Engaged bees: This too shall pass! Yes, planning a wedding is stressful, but nobody will agonize over the details as much as you do. My best advice from my (very recent) wedding is to prioritize the things that will ehance your guests’ experience and ease up on worrying about the tiny details that are only important to you. In the end, the experience will be more memorable than the painstaking details. At a certain point, you just need to let things go–there’s only so much you can do, and I can promise no one will notice if you didn’t bedazzle their placecard or find cute romantic themes for their table numbers.

Married bees: Remember to be nice to each other, and acknowledge when you’re being cranky or unreasonable. Remember that you’re supposed to be on the same team!

Post # 16
4787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Waiting bees: If you’re really going crazy and need to talk timelines, talk about an approximate timeline for related life events, not just for an engagement. Instead of pushing to find out when he’ll propose, discuss when you want to be a parent by (if you want kids) or what you want to wait for marriage for, how long of an engagement you want, etc. It will make him realize that the proposal is only the beginning.


Engaged bees: No matter what goes wrong or right, in the end you’ll still be married.


Married bees: Marriage is a verb. Wake up each morning and try to live your love for your DH/DW.


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