Post # 1
I feel really guilty about how I feel when I get unsolicited wedding suggestions/advice that I don’t agree with. I try not to be a bridezilla (and I have actually given in about a lot of things just to keep the peace), but when people start telling me “oh, you should do this” or “did you see this thing” and I don’t like it, it takes a lot for me not to get annoyed.
There are a million examples I could give for this (several from FI’s family!), but most recently the thing that annoyed me was my mom sending me a link to a Father/Daughter dance song, when I already told her what song I’m using.
In her message, she even told me that she didn’t expect me to change my song, and she wasn’t even looking for a song for me, but she heard it and thought i might like it.
The thing is, when I heard the song that I picked (Father and Daughter by Paul Simon), I cried… it just fit for me and I enjoyed the song itself and the message behind it. The new song she sent me (Daddy’s Angel) is pretty, but I don’t like the song as well, and it bothers me that it’s about a father giving his daughter away at her wedding…. I am attempting to avoid wedding cliches, and a father/daughter dance song ABOUT a wedding day just kind of seems like a wedding cliche waiting to happen.
My mom meant well. I shouldn’t be annoyed. I should just say “Thanks, but I still like my song better”…. but it’s so hard not to feel irritated!
I think that part of it is that planning a wedding is overwhelming enough when you’re just trying to sort out your own conflicting ideas, and then when other people’s ideas get thrown in it just makes things more complicated.
Does anybody else get annoyed when people give them suggestions that they don’t like?
Post # 3
Lol, I know what you mean… Its like, “You had your wedding, now let me have mine!” I think I just felt bad saying no, unless it was something I REALLY cared about, like the music. My mother-in-law was quite adamant for awhile about it being live, but I kind of wanted to use my iPod since I wanted the version I picked out. She eventually backed off. Oh, and she just up and bought the napkins one day, which ticked me off because I was looking forward to that, lol, and she hadn’t even acted remotely interested in our wedding up til that point. But yeh, you just want to have your day, your way. I get why its annoying. 🙂
Post # 4
I sometimes got a little annoyed when my mom suggested things, because she was closely involved in the planning and knew the look/feel I was going for. When she’d suggest things that were totally the opposite of what I had going on, it made me feel like she didn’t listen to me, or didn’t like what I was planning.
Other than that, I think people just want to be helpful, and I didn’t get too worked up about it.
I work with primarily seniors, so they had some pretty traditional ideas that weren’t going to work for me, but you just try to graciously thank them for the idea.
Post # 5
I get tons of unsolicited advice, more so from friends. I have been told I have to have colored vests (nope, traditional tuxes), a candy bar (nope, we don’t eat candy), buffet (nope), etc. I think that people are really just trying to help, but really!?
Post # 6
@farmgirl2106: I am really worried that Future Mother-In-Law is going to just buy things without asking. I know she’s prone to do something like that, and it’s going to be very, very difficult for me to keep my mouth shut if buys something w/o asking.
I am 100% ok with someone saying “i saw this, can you use it” but don’t just buy it without asking!
Post # 7
i keep getting advice from people who have gotten married in the recent past, and want to force their vendors on me. how do you tell someone that you thought their officiant was boring, or that the photographer charges double what we want to spend? i think some people just want to relive their own wedding.
i’ve also gotten some interesting reactions to some of the decisions we have already made. apparently anyone over the age of 50 thinks that black Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses will make our wedding look like a funeral.
Post # 8
I know right? I find that saying “Oh yeah, I saw something about that” or “Mmmm, that’s a great idea” seems to work for the time being. I try to remember that they’re just trying to make my life easier even though they usually annoy the heck out of me. I just pretend I’ve considered or will consider their suggestion. Besides, I doubt that anyone is going to be thinking “These aren’t the table runners I suggested” and if they do, well I’ll congratulate their attention to detail lol.