(Closed) Unsolicited suggestions…. Why do they annoy me so much? (Longish)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Lol, I know what you mean… Its like, “You had your wedding, now let me have mine!” I think I just felt bad saying no, unless it was something I REALLY cared about, like the music. My mother-in-law was quite adamant for awhile about it being live, but I kind of wanted to use my iPod since I wanted the version I picked out. She eventually backed off. Oh, and she just up and bought the napkins one day, which ticked me off because I was looking forward to that, lol, and she hadn’t even acted remotely interested in our wedding up til that point. But yeh, you just want to have your day, your way. I get why its annoying. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I sometimes got a little annoyed when my mom suggested things, because she was closely involved in the planning and knew the look/feel I was going for.  When she’d suggest things that were totally the opposite of what I had going on, it made me feel like she didn’t listen to me, or didn’t like what I was planning.

Other than that, I think people just want to be helpful, and I didn’t get too worked up about it.

I work with primarily seniors, so they had some pretty traditional ideas that weren’t going to work for me, but you just try to graciously thank them for the idea.

Post # 5
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I get tons of unsolicited advice, more so from friends.   I have been told I have to have colored vests (nope, traditional tuxes), a candy bar (nope, we don’t eat candy),  buffet (nope), etc.  I think that people are really just trying to help, but really!?

Post # 7
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i keep getting advice from people who have gotten married in the recent past, and want to force their vendors on me. how do you tell someone that you thought their officiant was boring, or that the photographer charges double what we want to spend? i think some people just want to relive their own wedding.

i’ve also gotten some interesting reactions to some of the decisions we have already made. apparently anyone over the age of 50 thinks that black Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses will make our wedding look like a funeral.

Post # 8
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know right? I find that saying “Oh yeah, I saw something about that” or “Mmmm, that’s a great idea” seems to work for the time being. I try to remember that they’re just trying to make my life easier even though they usually annoy the heck out of me. I just pretend I’ve considered or will consider their suggestion. Besides, I doubt that anyone is going to be thinking “These aren’t the table runners I suggested” and if they do, well I’ll congratulate their attention to detail lol. 

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