Post # 1
Ugh. I’m so irritated. There is this man in my office building (not in my company, thank god) who is one of those older guys who is married but likes to talk down about marriage and was a bachelor for a long time – you know the type. So anyway he comes over to me and goes “SO you married yet?” And I said No not until next year. And then he goes “Oh so you’ve still got time to go crazy?” I said, “What do you mean by that exactly?” He says, “Let me give you some marriage advice…” And whenever anyone says that my skin crawls immediately and I’m like STFU I didn’t ask you for advice. Then he procedes to tell me how I have to go out and have crazy drunken weekend with my girlfriends and all this bulls**t. This is not the first time this guy has tried to “tell me how it is” about marriage and give me terrible stupid advice so this time I basically was over it and I said, “You know, if I wanted your advice about marriage, I’d ask for it” and I walked away. Kind of bitchy, yes, but I wanted to say worse things.
Do you guys get this kind of unsolicited crap “advice” from people? Men especially I feel like to talk about marriage negatively and throw their two cents in when they aren’t needed or wanted.
Post # 3
My Fiance got that from people – mostly stupid wedding planning advice, like “don’t say anything, your opinion doesn’t count, just show up, you’re a prop.” It’s totally annoying.
Post # 4
Creepy. He is obviously miserable or making his wife miserable and is one of the mid-life crisisers whining about his “good old days” as a bachelor all the time. A. Dime. A. Dozen. Pay no mind.
Post # 5
Oh yes! People tell me to slow down and be young and enjoy life.. have my fun now… my future husband is my life and best friend.. i have my fun with him. Why do they all seem to think they know better. Just because they are miserable dont try to make my marriage seem like it will be that way too. Ive had my “crazy nights” now im crazy in love. Ignore them 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
LAME. Thank goodness, I haven’t got that. The only wedding advice I got was from my mom: to get fancier shoes. 😉 Mr. Spaniel gets a lot of the whole “Two words: ‘Yes, Dear'”, but neither of us take it very seriously.
Post # 7
For the last 2 months or so, I have had random people saying to me “You know, you still have time to back out” or “it’s not too late!”.
There is one guy in my office who ALWAYS makes comments like that, in a half-joking manner of course, and he even threatened to wear a black armband to my wedding in opposition of the arrangement LOL. I know he won’t really wear it, but seriously, he is definately not an advocate for marriage.
I don’t let it bother me though, I laugh it off.
They are the ones missing out after all.
Post # 8
OMG! Yes. Some older gentleman on the train yesterday tried to give me advise, and insinuate that if I needed a one-night-stand before the wedding, he would willingly provide it for me.
I was like, are you serious? I got off at the next stop and waited for the next train to come, I couldn’t believe it! He just saw my e-ring and started talking about marriage and what are “must-do’s” before you get married!
Post # 9
@arizonabride – He’s totally one of those “good old days” guys. He proceeded in the same conversation to tell me about how he used to wake up with a different stranger every night among empty whiskey bottles and packs of cigarettes. I’m like DUDE, (a) I barely know you and (b) you think you sound cool and badass but you sound PATHETIC.
@Jizes318 – AMEN on having had the “crazy nights” already! So over it.
Post # 10
@ebd just show up your a prob that’s so freakin funny.
People offer unsolicited advice about everything all the time, unfortunatly marriage is high on that list of things that brings out the crazy in people.
Just roll with it, ignore him he’s not worth your time, and tell him you’d prefer not to get a disease before marrying the love of your life.
Post # 11
Ugh, I know what you mean! I hate hate hate when people make remarks like that. Like marriage is the end of your life!
Last family get together my Fiance and I were eating dinner with my cousins and I had one cousin who told me, “You know a lot of people will say a bunch of crappy things to you about how bad marriage is. Well I just want to tell you, marriage can be wonderful, and I absolutely love it”, that coming from a man too!
Well my Fiance and I was very happy to hear some positive reinforcement about marriage.
Post # 13
That guy was rude. I hate people that offer “you know what you oughta do…” advice. I get it too – it’s like people think because I’m an encore, my wedding/relationship/plans/etc. should all be an open book. I want to tell people to mind their own all.the.time!
Post # 14
One time I got a really disheartening comment about marriage in general. I am a student nurse just finishing up my program. I did a homecare rotation and was working with another RN, who was probably around 40. On our lunch break, I went into a store and bought a card for my Fiance because he was having a hard time at work lately, and I wanted to let him know I was thinking of him and supported him. Me met up to go visit a client, and she commented “oh, who is the card for?”. I said “I just got it for my Fiance becuase he has been having a hard time at his job lately”. She scoffed at it and said “Well, don’t expect your love to be perfect forever (and my personal favorite inserted here) WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS”. Listen, I am not an idiot. In fact, Fiance and I have been together for 6 years, so its not like I just met this guy and I am all starry eyed. We’ve been thorugh thick and thin. I am looking forward to many more years with him, kids or no kids. I think you get as much out of a marriage as you put into it. I just try to let negative comments slide – I am happy with what I have, even if other’s aren’t!
Post # 15
Ugh, we got so much “advice” right before our wedding. I honestly think most people think of it as a right-of-passage type of thing, so try not to take it too seriously. I’ll add in a few of my favorites just for fun, but really most of that kind of “advice” is so ridiculous, it’s best to just laugh it off.
- “It’s not a marriage certificate; it’s a hate license.”
- One co-worker told us the “penny theory”: If you put a penny into a jar for every time you have sex during your engagement, and then take out a penny for every time you have sex in your marriage, you will die with a jar full of pennies.
- My husband got a lot of, “We’ll have the car running out front of the church” type of jokes. One co-worker even said he was going to write “Help” on the bottoms of my husband’s shoes so everyone could see the message while we were kneeling at the altar. He also got a ton of “Why are you helping plan the wedding? Don’t you know you’re only job is to show up?” comments.
- I had a very awkward conversation with an older woman about getting a variety of vibrators now so I wouldn’t be “bored with one penis” for the rest of my life.
Post # 16
Mrs. Spring hahaha, omg how awkard!!! yuck!!