(Closed) Unsupportive Mother Issues

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would have a frank, open and honest talk with her. I would tell her how I was feeling. Maybe there is something going on for her that you don’t know about. Health issues? Fianancial problems? Emotional issues re you growing up and getting married?

You will have no idea until you ask her.

Post # 4
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@tibbets:  It is pretty obvious she is not interested in your wedding. You’re setting yourself up for failure by repeatedly trying to get her involved when she clearly doesn’t want to be. She is your mother, but she isn’t required to be the exact mother you want. Don’t try to force it. Just accept it. You’re both adults and you can both choose where you focus your energy.

Post # 6
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@tibbets:  It might be time to cut your losses. I have to admit my mom hasn’t been that mean to me, but she’s already told me that she doesn’t care about me having a wedding, that i should elope, and when I suggested a small wedding and going to dinner for the ‘reception’ she thought that was stupid.

I guess she just isn’t interested in wedding stuff. It hurts a bit but I’ve learned to just forget about it since I can’t change it. She’s good to me in other ways.

I am bracing myself for rude comments from my family when I get my engagement ring. I am pretty sure that no matter what I get it’ll be too big or too small or the wrong color or a waste of money or gaudy or whatever. I just need to get better at not caring what anyone else thinks.

Post # 8
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Omggg did I just write this lol … I am going though something so similar . I tried to go with my mom wedding dress shopping and she promised as your did well she made excuses and I ended up going on my own * yes on my own *  this weekend and sent pics to her and my cousins. She was involved somewhat with opinions vis text BUT today when I bought the dress that everyone agreed was the dress she found everything that she thought was wrong but truth is nothing will be right b/c she doesnt want me married. My mom has blunty told me not to get married and she wants me to wait 2 yrs , I want to add that Im 25 yrs old no kids and college grad …. been with fiance 2 yrs but I need to wait 2 more years? whats her reasons … so SHE can maybe help with the wedding. But why not help now? Its just another way to control things. I too am struggling with expectations vs reality and its a daily battle. I send her pics of everything and most times with no response. Its draning and really depressing esp when his family is so great. I defo feel your pain and I hope it gets easier for both of us … 

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