- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
I’ve been having some bridesmaids issues, not nearly as major some other ones I’ve read about, but as I’m planning a wedding from 400+ miles away, any help is useful. I haven’t asked much from my bridesmaids (they live in my hometown, near the wedding site) but they’re making me have to worry about things I shouldn’t need to.
Bridal shower… the one responsibility I’ve really asked of them. A month before it’s supposed to be (I picked the date b/c I knew I’d be in town that weekend, gave them over three months notice) nothing has been decided! So my mom starts planning everything, but her idea involves a restaurant (it’s graduation weekend so all halls/rooms are already rented out) and isn’t big enough for fiance’s family also. No biggie b/c his gramma offered to have one for them. They’re whining about having to attend two bridal showers in one day but it’s b/c they didn’t plan anything themselves! How it’s gonna be ‘such a lonnnnggggg day’. But now I’m in the middle of the two and running info back and forth and I already have enough to plan.
But mostly they’re just whining about being available when I need them and unable to make ANY decisions. I give them over a months notice when I’m coming home (so if they work, hopefully they can switch shifts etc) since I can only drive home so many times before the wedding. I went with them to get shoes when I was home two months ago… didn’t find ones they liked. (They did help address envelopes for a short time the following day and when everyone said they were free to help the next day, no one showed up except my sister. If you weren’t free, just tell me.) I told them to get whatever shoes they wanted as long as they are silver and not super shiny and my sister is the only one who’s gotten shoes (out of four). No idea if anyone’s taken their dresses to be altered. I don’t feel like I’m asking them for much, but just to please be supportive and keep me informed so I don’t have a panic attack.
I just don’t know how to talk to them about this. Do I just let it all blow over and do things myself? I feel like they think they’re being really helpful but really they’re just stressing me out more.
Sorry this is half rant… I don’t know any other brides to let my wedding stress out to who would understand. Some of this bitterness is due to my Maid/Matron of Honor disappearing from my life. We used to talk once or twice a week… it’s been two weeks since we last talked. When we do talk, its for 20 min before she has to get off the phone to do hw, but she’s always going out and can’t make a few min a week to talk to her ‘closest friend’?
Addition: I’d like to add on that they knew before hand that I was going to ask for some help with decorations (like one or two Saturday afternoons, decorating the reception hall.) And they wanted to be in charge of the bridal shower.