- 7 years ago
Hi wedding bees,
I am writing a post here because I am definitely in ne. I have been with my fiance for 3 years. We have lived together for almost as long. I have been SO happy with him and for most of our relationship I’ve felt like he was the ONE.
However, starting about 6 months ago or so, I just started to feel very anxious about getting married and starting to nit pick all the little things about him that bother me. (I do feel truly horrible about being so judgmental, I just can’t help it.) Here are a few of my issues:
1. He hates his job. I just feel like, I LOVE LOVE my job, even though I have my days when I complain. I feel like I found my calling and go to work happy most everyday. He is more than the complete opposite. He hates his job, his career, but does nothing to change it.
2. He has big financial problems. About 1 1/2 years after we started dating I found out he had major credit card debt in addition to enormous student loans. I was extremely worried when I found out and have continued to not be OK with this. When I try to discuss how we’ll eventually become debt free…it always becomes a fight.
3. He is not adventurous. I’ve always wanted to travel around the world, move across the country, and just plain try new things. He is not interested in any of the above, unless I initiate travel plans…and a BIG no to moving anywhere.
4. I have not been…ahem…interested in the bedroom at all for going on 6 months or more. I feel awful about this, but I just can’t make myself be into it…I was considering going to some sort of counseling because this isn’t like me.
So, there are my major things that worry me on kind of a regular basis lately. Despite my worries, he really is a wonderfully kind, caring, sensitive, loving person who I am so lucky to have in my life. He makes me laugh and is always there for me. But, are any of these things major red flags? My wedding is in about 4 months.. I don’t see how I could not go through with it. But, would I be making a mistake??
I can’t picture my life without him in it..having lived with him for so long..but how can I know I am making the right decision?