Post # 1
My Fiance and I have been together for 4 years and have been engaged for 6 months. We live about 3 hours away from his family, so we do not see them too often, hence I am not really close to them. His sister is getting married next week and they asked him to be a groomsmen, he is the only boy in the family, so its understandable. His other 3 sisters are also in the wedding party.
Since my Fiance is in the wedding, I get that he is going to be busy with wedding stuff most of the time. I also understand that I won’t get to sit with him at the ceromony and reception, I am perfectly fine with that. My problem is, his sister recently sent a text to him stating ” I hope (me) doesn’t get offended but I didn’t sit her at a table that has any family at it, there wasn’t room.” Fiance asks me if thats okay and I stated that “I guess it will have to be but I am a little offended, there was no room at any table for me that has family or even extended family that I know?” Of course he doesn’t see why this would be hurtful or uncomfortable, so I let it go. I guess I am wondering if I am wrong to be hurt by this? He has a large family and two of his sisters are married, I don’t get why I couldn’t sit with their husbands, another sisters boyfriend is sitting with them? Of course I will go with a smile on my face and not imply that I am offended by her choice, but I am hurt…. Any thoughts
Post # 3
I mean, I think you are legitimate in being a bit hurt, but I don’t think it’s enough to make a big fuss about. Put on a happy face and try and make friends with whoever you end up sitting with. I think the fact that she brought it up with your Fiance is a good sign.
Post # 4
@lunamoth23: ((HUGS)) FWIW I would be upset by this, too, because you’re his Fiance and soon to be a member of the family, too. Also, you’ve been together for four years, you’re not a stranger. I admire your sweet attitude to not say anything and make the best of it.
But, yep, I’d be upset too!
Post # 5
I would be dissapointed too.You will be fine though.At least she gave you a heads up,so it wasn’t a surprise.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I would probably be hurt at first and then shrug it off because I’m thinking, seating plans are a mess and seating a single in with family couples (dates, aunts and uncles, etc.) might be problematic.
Last wedding I went to where Fiance was a groomsmen I got sat at a table near the head table with miscellaneous people (one was the bride’s co-worker, one was a groom’s distant relative, people they clearly didn’t know where to put so they mashed them together at one table) instead of near FI’s friends that I knew! It was terrible, but honestly as soon as dinner ends you and Fiance will be reunited and get to dance the evening away 🙂
Post # 7
Thanks everyone, a big part of my feeling hurt comes from me struggling to belong with them,I think. So I guess this in away validated that “my struggle” might just be legitmate and not completely in my head. My family also has 4 girls and 1 boy and my only SIL is treated like she is an actual sister.
I feel like it shouldn’t have had such an impact on me, but it did. I am 30 years old, professionally established and financially secure but I am completely knocked off balance by the “excluded” feeling when it comes to his family. I feel like im in grade school all over again LOL !
Post # 8
Don’t be hurt!! Seating charts can be a NIGHTMARE and your Future Sister-In-Law was thoughtful in texting her brother with your feelings in mind. I’m sure if there was a way she could have done it, she would have sat you with the rest of the family. Her seating you where she did was not because she doesn’t consider you to soon be part of the family. Please don’t hold it against her … I can understand how ‘breaking into’ a new family is difficult. Just be your wonderful self and all the pieces will fit together eventually!
Post # 9
I would be upset too. You are practically family. You should be placed at a family table. Go, have a good time and make some new friends. You can do it!