(Closed) Unsure if I Want a Child With DH…

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Sadly, I do not but I wanted you to know you’re not alone in feeling this way. I seriously could have written your post. From the fear of doing everything alone to the difference in views, that’s me and my relationship. The only difference is my Darling Husband really wants a baby, and he swears he’ll step up and help when the time comes, but I have my doubts. I know he’d be an amazing father for the most part, but I can’t help but feel like we’re not ready yet, and I sometimes think I’m not really cut out for being a mom.

All that being said, I think you should express your concerns to your Darling Husband. Maybe it’s not what you want to hear, but I don’t think things will just work themselves out. Please don’t have a baby until you’re sure it’s what you want. 

Post # 4
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

I definitely think you guys should talk about this… All I can say is that, my husband is similar to yours – I can bet money he wont be getting up with the kid, ever, (I know this because we have dogs, and I get up to let them out 2-3 times per night, every night, and it’s always been that way). I don’t mind though, because, I have accepted this fact. In fact, I embrace it. I suppose it’s because I was raised by a single mom. I saw her dedicate her life to me without her husband, so I am perfectly okay with dedicating mone to my baby. That sounds horrible, but I don’t mean Darling Husband will be bad at being a parent at all; in fact, what I mean is that Darling Husband is going to be a great dad and he will love fatherhood…and almost everything about it. Waking up in the middle of the night, seeing me deliver, cleaning up vomit, other gross or undesriable parent things, etc, I don’t think he will love (obviously, I won’t know until we have a little one). That’s where I come in, and I’m truly, honestly, 100% okay with it. I get genuine satisfaction from doing the duties I do now as a puppy mom and I will get satisfaction from doing the duties of being a real mom. I suppose that’s maternal instincts, which if you don’t have already (sounds like you do), you will soon =)

I wish I had more insight for you. But, thats all I got.

Post # 6
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@CherryWaves:  The fact that you say, “I think I am okay with not having kids, but I’m not sure,” makes me feel like one day, maybe far away, you’ll wake up, and want one. I feel like CBCers on this site knew and never doubted they would never have kids. I dunno, just the vibe I get =) I could be completely crazy! haha

Post # 7
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I understand exactly what you mean about bringing a kid into this world. I’ve kind of always fet this way, but expecially with the economy and my parent’s health issues and everything else, i am losing hope about it. The world just seems so sad lately. Sometimes I think we should have had kids in our 20s when I was more optomistic about it.

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