(Closed) Unsure of what to do…

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 91
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

IngridS:  Hurray! This is the update I wanted, because it was clear to me that you weren’t in agreement with your husband. I’m glad you talked to your families, and OF COURSE they’re supportive! This is their grandchild!! They want to be a part of it, and helping financially will be their pleasure 🙂 They might have been strict and stingy with you in the past to teach you and to help you be independent, but a vulnerable baby is a completely different story. Congratulations! I’m due 3 weeks before you! I had some red bleeding too, try some bed rest and not use stairs too much and take it slowly.

Post # 92
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You mentioned before you sometimes struggle to buy food for the week, so I’m not sure how you’ll afford mortgage payments, utilities, property taxes, and condo fees every month?

Not to be negative about the condo, but to be positive about renting.  I’ve know a few young couples raising a baby in a tiny 1-bedroom apartment (or in their parents’ basement), and there’s nothing shameful or inadequate about it.  There really is no shame in living very simply.     

Post # 93
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

IngridS:  Hi, it does look like there’s another line (faint positive) I would suggest a digital test, it will for sure tell you if you are pregnant or not.

About the abortion, I just went through something horrible that I haven’t told ANYONE only my husband and my parents know, and his mom. Right after having our first baby I got pregnant right away, I had to get an abortion because we are not economically stable , we dont have the money right now to afford an apartment, we are living at my parents house and with a 5 month old. I got an abortion 2 months ago, there were a lot of tears, my husband was so heartbroken that as soon as we got to the clinic we started crying. We wanted to have the baby, abortion has never been an option to us, but we did what we had to do, to this day we still cry when we talk about it, it broke our heart so so much. Our life completely changed. So please if you are not sure of wanting to have an abortion PLEASE DONT DO IT. Talk to your husband, having an abortion will make you and him regret it for the rest of your lives.

Post # 94
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

Please do not judge me by my previous post, its been pretty horrible for us this past 2 months, a life changing experience, i have not been able to tell ANYONE because it is not something that we are proud of, and probably will NEVER tell anyone. But please do not judge, it is something that I will feel guiilty for the rest of my life, I hope GOD never forgives me because there is no forgiveness for what I’ve done, I have even felt like a criminal but it was what had to be done because of money problems =( and to to think it was because of MONEY, a green &%$#@ paper. So sorry ladies I feel so emotional right now. To the OP,  I am so happy and RELIEVED that you decided to have your beautiful baby. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND!! AND YOUR PARENTS ARE SO AMAZING.

Post # 96
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

beemyname:  Thank you so much, this pain gets worse by the second. I guess I just have to learn to live with it. Have a great day.

Post # 97
Member
701 posts
Busy bee

IngridS:  Thought of you today, and found this board to see if there was any update. Really happy you decided to keep your baby and have support. Congratulations.

Post # 98
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

MrsDominguez21:  Your story broke my heart. Please reach out for some help in real life – absolutely nothing is unforgivable, and many many wonderful women have been in your shoes and made the same choice. There are counselors and support groups who can help women who are having a difficult time after having an abortion. If you’re open to religious based counseling, Project Rachel is an option (through the Catholic Church) worth looking into. If you’d prefer something secular, there are lots of counselors who work with women experiencing all kinds of pregnancy loss related grief. You can also call the Exhale after abortion talk line at 1-866-4-EXHALE, and your local Planned Parenthood may have a post-abortion counseling service or referrals. But please, however you decide to get help, reach out and get help. You don’t deserve to feel guilty for the rest of your life or to feel like a criminal. 

Post # 99
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

KatieBklyn:  Thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate it, this has been so hard on me, on my husband, on our marriage, everytime we talk about it we both cry, I have thought of getting some professional help, after the abortion I became another person, I dont really laugh at funny things anymore, I would fight with my husband everyday (mood swings) get mad for everything over stupid things, and I dont want my marriage to be affected because my husband is so good to me and our daughter, and he just literally lives for us! He always says to me that if we were a different situation (economically speaking) or at least living in an apartment we would have kept that baby and that he sometimes wonders if it was a boy or a girl. We did not want to know how many weeks along I was, we did not want to know anything and we clearly told that to the nurse and doctor. The not knowing is killing me now but I think I would be way more devastated if I knew. Although I am pretty sure I was early in the pregnancy, maybe like 4, 5 weeks. Thanks again for the support.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  sweetpink.

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