(Closed) Unsure whether to consider elopement

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lunalyra:  If you did invite just immediate family, then their SO’s do need to be invited per etiquette rules. Not necessarily your nieces and nephew though, just the SO.  Then you can go to a restaurant for a nice meal.


Sometimes older folks just like to see pretty pictures when it’s all said and done and not be hassled with travelling.  It really depends on the people.


I hope people will be happy for whatever you guys choose to do.

Post # 4
1467 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lunalyra:  It sounds like you want a small, private ceremony, and then a bigger but still small reception. For the reception, you could just rent a room at a restaurant and have a nice dinner without all the other stuff (DJ, band, flowers, etc.) As for the ceremony, your place sounds great, but it seems you have to decide if it’s more important to use that space or to have your grandparents there. Otherwise, I think it’s fine to just have your immediate family members. It really depends on the culture of your family. I know that my grandmother would be horrified if she couldn’t be at my wedding ceremony. My FI’s grandparents on the other hand probably wouldn’t mind midding the ceremony. So it definitely depends on the family culture. 

Post # 5
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lunalyra:  I am doing a version of what you are currently considering. I married DH a month ago on a cruise ship. I wanted my family to come but my parents are in their 80’s and aren’t very mobile. So if they couldnt come, I didnt really want anyone else to come. So we were alone on the ship. Which was fine.

Now on this Sunday coming up, we are having a family dinner where our parents and nearest and dearest will be present–about 35 people. It is also during the day which will make it easier for the older folks.

I think this way has made lots of sense. Less cost, less stress and less taxing on most everyone.

Post # 6
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lunalyra: Many people are thrilled with their wedding day, but I am so stressed. I had no idea what I was getting into and how difficult it would be. Maybe I’ll feel differently after my big day, but right now, I wish I was back in time where you are. You’ve have made no announcement, you haven’t sent out invitations, so an elopement is still a possibility.

I’d avoid the madness now while you still can and elope.

As for your venue, I would suggest being flexible if you do decide to have a wedding. I found a dream venue, but it didn’t work out for various reasons. Now, I’ve chosen another venue, and I think it will actually work out better.  

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