- 9 years ago
My FH and I have begun discussing our wedding party and how many attendants we would like to have. We are still on the fence between four and five apiece.
If we have five, my choice is easy — I have five close girlfriends who stand out from the rest of my crowd of friends. They are all from different areas of my life — childhood best friend, high school friends, college friends. If we choose four, I would be able to "pare" it down to four, but the choice would be hard.
My FH plans to include his childhood best friend, some college and high school friends, and my brother. He will be including my brother because 1) my brother and I are very close and it is important to me, and 2) my FH and my brother get along very well.
I, however, am torn about whether to include my FH’s sister – my Future Sister-In-Law. As I mentioned, I have five great girls I could ask to be bridesmaids. However, part of me feels as though I should include my Future Sister-In-Law out of the sense of family (I do not have any sisters myself). I know it would make her happy and I am sure my Future Mother-In-Law would be touched.
A couple of complications: 1) My FH and his sister are not really friends nor do they have the best of relationships. 2) MY Future Sister-In-Law and I have a moderate relationship. She is still young (she’s 18, four years younger than me), and sometimes acts her age. Sometimes, we get along fine, and sometimes she acts like self-centered child. Since my FH and I have gotten engaged, I have received only sarcastic comments about the wedding from her — no genuine feelings of happiness. When my FH talked with her about this, she said she was just trying to be funny, which I understand, but I am hesitant to take her on as a bridesmaid if she is going to have that attitude consistently, especially if that means cutting out one of my friends.
So, what do you think? Is it a major wedding sin not to include her, esp. if my FH is including my brother? Or would I be justified in including my friends who are so close to me and who I know will be supportive and encouraging?
I was thinking that if I don’t include my Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid, then perhaps I could find another way for her to be involved. By doing a reading or something during the ceremony? What do you think of that/do you have any other ideas for ways for her to feel included?