- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Disclaimer: This is long, and any words of wisdom or advice is appreciated. I don’t want to start any arguments, or upset anyone with this topic. I guess it could be considered controversial, but I am just looking for some honest, thoughtful feedback. Thanks.
Growing up I was best friends with two boys Greg and Chris who are twin brothers. I seriously spent all my spare time with them from the age of 4 to around 11. We grew apart as we got older, when the boys moved away, and now we keep in touch mainly through FB. I am definitely closer to Greg than Chris, and Greg and I occasionaly have dinner to catch up, although that hasn’t happened for a few years because I moved across the country for a while. I just want to point this all out to show that I we go way back, and you know those childhood friends who were really meaningful in your life, and you get sentimental thinking about life back then? I just really care about these guys and their families. Hell, I even wanted to marry Greg when I was little 🙂
Anyway, while I was living on the west coast, Greg got engaged and married his long term partner Ken. I was so happy for them because I had remembered the conversations we’d had about Ken, how much Greg loved him and wanted children with him, and how it was difficult for Greg to come out to his family but eventually they caught on and it seemed like everyone embraced them with open arms. I just felt like Greg knew Ken was the ‘One’ for him, and I was so glad it all worked out.
Meanwhile, Chris has been flying under the radar for some time, and I found out that he’s actually training to become a Catholic priest. To me, who was also raised as a Catholic (we all were), I thought this was pretty cool, just because I do have an interest in religion and I tend to admire people who are willing to dedicate themselves in this way. A couple of days ago, I received an invitation to Chris’ Ordination. I called my mom up to tell her, and we decided to go because it would be nice to see Chris and his family again (it’s been a while), and I was interested in seeing what exactly happens during an Ordination.
I texted Greg to see if he was going, and Greg responded that he wasn’t sure yet, since Chris had refused to attend any of Greg’s wedding events due to religious reasons 🙁
This wedge that has developed between them absolutely breaks my heart, and I’m sure I can assume that their parents and siblings are heartbroken as well. I feel so many things about this situation, but most of all, I can’t believe Chris was so willing to ostracise his brother for ‘religious’ reasons. The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and I don’t think I’ll be going to his Ordination. I mean, you can’t really support someone who upholds these ‘principles’, can you?
I am also deeply saddened because this reflects poorly on the Catholic Church. I do appreciate Catholicism as a religion, but how can I support an organization that continues with this outdated mentality? But the thing is, I’m sure not all priests have the same viewpoint as Chris – I mean, even the new Pope wants a more inclusive Church, and has said “Who am I to judge?” That’s the kind of Church I’d like to belong to.
Anyway, I just wanted to get this out there. I am really struggling with this situation, which is deeply personal to me, in many different ways.
What would you guys do? Would you go to the Ordination knowing that this Priest has turned his back on his own brother? Or is that “none of my business” and just go to see him and his family (I know for a fact that at least one of their sisters is going). Should I wait to see if Greg ends up going? And only go if he goes?